Weddingbee boards

Hey bees... okay, I'm starting to get annoyed with my brother. Back story is that his wife and my parents dont get along... at ALL. Deep-seeded animosity on her part toward them, and zero tolerance for that on my parents' side... LOTS of drama between them, and this goes back a few years now.

My dad mentioned to my brother that he would hope that everyone could be adult and leave the drama at home. My brother interpreted that as his wife was not welcome at the wedding. This turned into a HUGE thing, where she posted obscenities all over Facebook and said that my side of the family will never see her son, that we've f*cked ourselves by saying she's dramatic (*cough* seriously?).

So her son (my and FI's godson) she said would NOT be at the wedding and that she would not attend either. She said that it was up to my brother whether or not he chooses to attend, but that she is not going to subject herself or her child to "people like that."

My brother called me about a month ago, asking if FI and I were among the people who "thought that they'd show up and bring drama to our wedding." I told him "I want my brother at my wedding. It's important for me to get that picture of me and my three brothers all together that you got at your wedding and J got at his wedding. I want one at my wedding. I would hope that people can be grown up enough to put their sh*t aside for one day and realize that FI's and my day is not about them."

He said that was what he needed to hear, and I haven't heard from him since. No phone call, facebook message, nothing...  And no RSVP card... we sent invites out on 7/6. Deadline is tomorrow.

And I'm NOT going to be happy if I have to call him to follow up.

I didn't use those words exactly - and obviously I don't want him there ONLY for the picture, but he knows how important that is to our family given that the 4 kids are only ever together every 5-10 years.

I told him that I understood there were issues outside of FI and me, and that we hoped that people (my parents included) could put those aside.

I also said we didn't want drama there regardless of the source, whether it was the parents, siblings, guests of all kinds - that we just wanted to be surrounded by our friends and family and people who love us to share in our special day.

No, at the end of the discussion, I told him he needed to send in his card so we know what they wanted to eat - and he said he had to figure out if it was going to be all of them, none of them or just him. I told him I understood that if they made the decision not to come, that it was not personal to FI or me, but that we would be hurt if they chose not to attend... and that we hope to see them in September.

I'm just irritated because he knows when the deadline is, and it seems like they are making everyone sweat it out (my parents obviously know that he hasnt' sent it in)... and that's passive aggressive toward my parents using our wedding as a tool, which is frustrating.

Thanks ladies - that's what I'm trying to do - god knows we've had enough drama during our wedding planning, the last thing we need is more :( I'm still toying with the idea of skipping town and going to Vegas!

SOOOO UPDATE! I emailed my brother this morning at his work email, and asked him to just let me know via email what the RSVP status was, and what they wanted to eat, and to let him know that the hotel group rate expires after today - and ALL THREE OF THEM ARE COMING! They arent' staying at the hotel, and we'll only see them on the wedding day, but they're coming! :)

Thanks all! :) I hope the drama stays at home from EVERYONE! There are plenty other people we're more worried about than them! And only two RSVP's left to come in, so soon I can start the seating chart!