Post # 1
Do RSVP decilnes make you feel sad?
I have about 42 declines (16 households out of 68 invited so far) . 27 are my FI family out of 56.
Kinda makes me feel that they don’t support our relationship. I am ok with co-workers or frinds that can’t make it, but family ? Ok, My family is on another continent and they are not coming but those that are close by ?
I have uploaded some of the engagement photos on to our website and sent a notification to all that were invited to our wedding through Facebook (even the ones that are not coming). Some people sparked a conversation with questions in that group (where everyone invited were tagged in) and so I answered. I just noticed that 2 of the individuals have left the conversation (they didn’t write anything, which means they don’t want to be bothered with it. One is in the states so I understand, but the other one lives quite close to us and she and her family chose not to come. No explanation on the RSVP either, just a checked box stating Decline.
What to think of this ?
Post # 4
@Lulume: I mean, if they’re close to you, I would talk to them and say something like, “Oh, I’m so sorry you can’t make it, I was hoping with the STD sent out, etc, you would have been open that weekend!” Otherwise, I mean, it’s not technically anyone’s business why someone can’t come, and it’s possible they feel terrible that they can’t go.
Post # 5
@love108: There was no STD’s sent out, but i invited them quite early. It’s my FI’s cousins. He has 3. Only one is coming with her hubby. The other two are not. One stated it’s becasue she has no where to leave the kids – our invite mentioned that children are welcome. The other just replied “no”.
Post # 6
We aren’t getting married til next year, but i’m sure I will be the same way and be bummed when some of the people decline. I think its important to remember that just because they won’t be there does NOT mean that they don’t approve of you guys getting married…it may have nothing to do with you. There are so many reasons that someone might not be able to attend. The important thing is that people are at least letting you know they won’t able to make it instead of leaving you hanging and then just not showing up. Also, the thing with FB i wouldn’t think to much into that either. FB is a fun way to stay in touch…but its also a very easy way for someone to take something the wrong way. (such as leaving a convo). Keep your head up and remember the important people will be there to support you. My family lives about 6 hrs away from FI and I and when we decided to save money on a sat wedding and move it up a day to friday, my FI was worried my friends and/or family wouldn’t be able to make it since its on a week day, I just told him that the important people and the people that wanted to be there would find a way. 🙂 Not everyone will be able to miss work, travel, ect…but the important thing is that you guys are together with loved ones around you to celebrate. Sorry for writing so much haha
Post # 7
@Lulume: I wouldn’t give a second thought to those who “left the conversation”. Personally, I HATE group messages on Facebook. I don’t need to be notified every time your great aunt says “Yay!” to something you’ve said! I wish there was that option on iPhone messages too.
Post # 8
Don’t be too offended about the Facebook. I absolutely despise group messages, and will always remove myself from the conversation as soon as I see it’s a group thing.
Post # 9
I actually want declines at this point. We have 80 acceptances and only 7 declines (out of 136 people). None of the declines have been close family or friends though, so maybe if they were I’d feel a little bummed.
Post # 10
@Lulume: If you’ve never gotten the feeling that they don’t support your relationship I doubt that’s what it is. Could it be something financial, as in they don’t have $$ to give a gift, etc? Times are tough, you never know. I’m excited to get a decline. I need to get down to 175.
Post # 11
@Lulume: We only have one guest decline. She’s a mother of three, one of which is a newborn, plus she lives out of town. Her husband, my fiance’s friend is attending so no hard feelings there.
Why would you invite people who don’t support your marriage?
Post # 12
All of our guests have said yes – which has completely thrown me. There is the last-minute drop outs though. Don’t get upset and assume they don’t support your relationship. There are a variety of reasons why people would decline an invitation to a wedding. Don’t automatically assume the worst.
Post # 13
One entire side of my family declined for my wedding. One cousin said yes and then didn’t come. I felt really bad for my mom not having any of her family there at all. But whatever. I sat her with some older friends of mine and she ended up leaving early to take care of the grandkids. So, in the end we had a good time without them.
Post # 14
We’ve only gotten a handful of our RSVPs in so far, but it’s a bummer when people decline. I don’t think they’re not coming because they don’t support your relationship/marriage, though. I hope it works out!