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RSVP Emergency...I need help BEES!

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
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    1.
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    Busy bee
    Mrs. Dee to Bee    January 30, 2010   Louisville, KY (Wedding in TX)

    One of my BFFs from high school that I'm not really that close to, but invited to the wedding because...well I don't know. I guess it doesn't matter why I invited her, except that now she's invited...anyway, she sent in her RSVP card with FIVE people listed in her #. Now, I know her mom and sister, but they did not get an invitation. The invitation was addressed to my friend ONLY. They don't even have FIVE people in their household! What should I do? 

     
    2.
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    Sugar bee
    Kittyachi    August 2010   New York

    Have your mom or one of your BMs call her or email her and lay down the law.

     
    3.
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    Bee
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    Sugar bee
    quiche    May 2, 2009   Chicago

    Can you just give her a call and nicely explain the situation?  I can't imagine she would get upset!

     
    4.
    Hostess
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    Buzzing
    Beekeeper
    daydreamwanderer       DC

    Do you have a bridesmaid who knows her as well? Have your bm or mom call and  explain that her invite was for 1 (or 2, did she get a plus-one?), and they're so embarrassed but have to ask her to choose one guest, etc.

    Separate that dirty work from yourself!

     
    5.
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    Bee Keeper
    oracle    October 23, 2010   Los Angeles

    How do you best communicate with her?  I'd email her or call her give her the speech:  I received your RSVP and am thrilled you will be attending, but we only reserved one seat for you and a noticed your RSVP card listed 5.  I'm so sorry, but we can't accommodate the extra guests.  I hope you'll still be able to make it.

     
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    Helper bee
    AshCo    June 19, 2010   Minnesota

    I would call her to see what the names are of the people first, for purposes of (even if you aren't doing escort cards , say that you might do them now?!) Just as an excuse so you aren't totally coming at her from the start.

     Then find out who they are and tell her you aren't comfortable having others come that you don't even know or for that matter weren't invited. If you aren't that close to her anymore and dont even really know why you invited her, i dont think it would hurt. Your paying for them to eat your food i'm assuming, why should you have to foot her groups bill?

    I hope this helps a little That really stinks, i am also worried that may happen!!

     
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    Helper bee
    mhirni    September 12, 2009   Oakland, CA

    Agreed.  Have your mom (who I am sure knows her from when you were in High School together) or one of your mutual friends call and let her know that since she was the only one invited, she is the only one who can come (more tactfully than I said it of course!).

     
    8.
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    Sugar bee
    Kittyachi    August 2010   New York

    I think oracle's wording is the best way to go.

    PS - WHY WHY WHY do people do this?!?!?

     
    9.
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    Busy bee
    july112010    July 11, 2010   los angeles

    I agree with what oracle said. Im not sure I would have your mom call though, I personally think you should call yourself. Gosh some people are just so inconsiderate its horrible!

     
    10.
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    Busy bee
    Mrs. Dee to Bee    January 30, 2010   Louisville, KY (Wedding in TX)

    Thanks ladies! Mom's calling her right now. eek. I'll keep you posted on how it goes. I never thought in a million years somebody on our guest list would do that?!

     
    11.
    3,234 posts
    Sugar bee
    Kittyachi    August 2010   New York

    Keep us posted on the response! I'm anticipating this happening when our time rolls around.

     
    12.
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    Busy bee
    Mrs. Dee to Bee    January 30, 2010   Louisville, KY (Wedding in TX)

    Ok here's the scoop, for anyone else that this happens to....

    My mom called the rude guest and left a voicemail that she had a question about guest's rsvp count. 

    My friend called MOB back and said that the FIVE people on her RSVP were her, her sister, her mom, her mom's boyfriend and her boyfriend. All of which she claims have met me. MET ME?! WTF. If I invited everyone I'd met, this wedding would be FAR more enormous than it already is. 

    Since we're in the clear as far as numbers go, my mom said, "Well, Hilary, we'd LOVE to have you and your mom and sister but we're kind of tight on space for the others. Is it ok then if we expect three for your invitation?" 

    Friend was fine with the outcome. Mom is awesome. 

     
    13.
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    Bumble bee
    Cole B    October 16, 2010   Northern Indiana

    Wow. Your mom rocks. I would have totally freaked out and wouldn't have handled this situation nearly so well.

     
    14.
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    Buzzing bee
    skibobrown    July 31, 2010   CA (wedding in Bar Harbor, ME)

    All I can say is WOW.  Some people really just don't get it.  A wedding isn't an open invitation to the world.  YOU choose the guest list, and your guests need to abide by those decisions.  It's really good that you have some flexibility with your #s so that you could accommodate the extra 2 guests.  It sounds like this got worked out really diplomatically.  Good job!

     
    15.
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    Busy bee
    Nlmiele    July 3, 2010   Pa

    I am so worried about this happening with all our freinds. We (mostly FI) have a very big group of friends, most still in college, so they aren't really experience with the whole wedding etiquette thing yet. I know this is going to happen to me but I will try really hard to get someone else to call for me! haha

     
    16.
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    Bee Keeper
    eloping    May 23, 2010  

    totally rude and im sorry you/your mom rolled and is letting her bring 3 people.. im still stunned by people and weddings although i should have heard it all by now

     

     

     
    17.
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    Busy bee
    Amani    March 27, 2010  

    Ugh.  But thank goodness for moms :)

     
    18.
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    Bumble bee
    Champagne Wishes    May 22, 2010   Upstate New York

    Wow, that is the kind of situation I fear!  Your mom handled it really well.

     

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