Post # 1
I just got married so I understand RSVP nightmares and people asking to bring friends. So I want to run this situation by you ladies.
An old ballet teacher of mine is getting married. This is her second marriage and she’s hosting it at her home. It’s obviously going to be a small intimate affair. I invited her to my wedding with no plus 1 because of space issues. She had just gotten engaged when I got married and wasn’t able to make it to my wedding.
She sent me an E-VITE invitation to her wedding asking for RSVPs. Once we RSVPed online with our mailing address, she’s going to send us a formal invitation. In the EVITE RSVP you’re allowed to put the number of guests your bringing. I don’t want to assume I can bring my husband and put two guests but I don’t want to make it look like he can’t come and only put one. I obviously want him to come if he can, but I understand if there’s no space for him. Should I just RSVP with one guest and wait and see what the formal invitation says? I would HATE to ask her because I hated when people asked me when I was getting married bc I felt obliged to give them a plus one when there was no space. But this is not a clear situation. Not sure what to do.
Post # 3
Since she was invited to your wedding, she knows you’re married and probably expects you to put 2 guests (you and your husband).
Post # 4
@michellemariabv: Given you are married, put 2. In the event that she for some reason does not wish to include him on the formal invitation (which would be extremely rude), she still has that option when she addresses them.
Post # 5
I would assume my husband is invited. If I wasn’t married I would probably ask but I would definitely assume DH was invited if I received something like this.
Post # 6
put 2, you are married and she knows this. If she can only have you she will let you know.
Post # 7
@michellemariabv: if you put down 1…she will only send you an invitation for one…. put in 2 (she should know your a unit now), and if there is an issue, she will send you an invite for 1, and you will know 100% if she has space without having to have the awkward conversation. If she doesnt have room she may call you and then you can just say “I totally understand, no need to explain, its really fine”.
Post # 9
This all seems bass ackwards to me. You don’t pre-RSVP to a wedding. Either it’s an invitation or a request for addresses, not both. If it was an invitation, either your H was referenced on the evite or he wasn’t.
In this case, since it’s impossible to know what is going on, I would call the teacher. The sticky part is that you didn’t invite her finance when it was your turn. They were a social unit back then and he should have been invited or neither of them. It’s hard to know if this is reciprocal for that or if it’s just a poorly done, confusing invitation.
Post # 10
@weddingmaven: The evite didn’t have a salutation. It was just a link. And it gave you the option of RSVP with as many guests as you want. I’m imagining this will be a very low-key wedding so that’s why she’s not bothering with etiquette rules. And I understand I didn’t invite her new fiance to my wedding…that’s why I didn’t want to assume my DH was invited to hers. I would be completely fine with it. It’s just a confusing situation. I guess that’s why we have etiquette rules in the first place!
I just responded “Yes” and told her to let me know in the formal invitation if I could bring DH. But I also said that I would completely understand if there was no space for him given that I just went through a wedding myself.
Post # 11
@michellemariabv: In that case, I’d just RSVP for you and your husband.