RSVP excuses, what's the worst you've got??

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Someone withdrew their RSVP less than a week before the wedding because of a lawn bowls game. We were both fuming (meal was paid for, seating etc. done) but it was their loss – the wife still came and you could tell she was so embarassed by what he had done and sent us this lovely card afterwards.  We also had another two withdraw late in the piece because their baby sitter fell through but I could understand that (they have 5 kids. That would be hard to find a last minute baby sitter for, lol). We replaced them with friends who had given birth earlier than expected so managed to make it after all!

Post # 3
Member
92 posts
Worker bee

I had to chase someone down for an RSVP. After a week of no response, they finally told me they were unable to get a ride. Which would have been fine except they own a fully functioning vehicle. If you don’t want to come, that’s fine but to make me chase you down for some lame excuse is annoying.

Post # 4
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Being told they might have a work trip come up, and if it did, they would not be able to come (although I never found out for sure whether or not this work trip did come up). 

Having another guest RSVP yes, and had I not followed up about accomodations would have never found out that they were not coming because of yup, “a work trip.”

Post # 5
Member
1648 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2000

My cousin said he has to watch his dog – even though he had months to Figure it out

Post # 6
Member
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Sunset Hills Country Club

My MOH rsvp’d yes to my bridal shower, then the day of she bailed because she was cramping! WTH? I hope she’s not cramping the day of the wedding!

oh, and I had to beg my sister, who is one of my BM’s, to not go to a concert of a singer she’s seen 5+ times, and to come to my rehearsal instead.

oh yeah! one more! My DJ asked me to change the time of my wedding because she booked another job the same day after we already signed the contract and paid her! And this is after our live musician said yes, then backed out!

Post # 7
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

My DH had a close friend at university who lives several hours away from us, so we don’t see him very often. This friend RSVP’d yes to our wedding, then a week later he TEXTED my DH to say “Sorry mate can’t come to the wedding, some family stuff has come up”. I thought it was so rude that he didn’t elaborate more than that and my DH was really hurt. 

Then one of my cousins was a no-show because he lives abroad and he didn’t renew his passport in time! So he couldn’t travel back to the UK to be with us. Never mind! At least he was very apologetic.

Post # 8
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

One of my sorority sisters from college RSVP’d yes but never showed up. I was a little worried about her thinking she may have had a car accident on the way or something else horrible might have happened, so I considered calling her to see if she was OK but was still debating on how to not sound like I was demanding an explanation for why she didn’t show when she sent me a text. This was a couple of days after the wedding, and it just said: “Sorry I couldn’t come to your wedding. I was sick all weekend.” 

Sure, I was disappointed but these things happen and I was just glad she wasn’t lying in the hospital somewhere. Then lo and behold, when we returned from our honeymoon I was on FaceBook and saw where she had been tagged in a bunch of posts and pictures by her new boyfriend taken the same weekend as my wedding, and she sure didn’t look very ill. All I can assume is that she ditched my wedding for whatever reason to hang out with her boyfriend, but I’d given her a plus-one so it’s not like she couldn’t have brought him. LAME. 

Post # 9
Member
30 posts
Newbee

I’m pretty ashamed but I’m guilty of RSVP-ing Yes and not showing up to a wedding but I let the bride know 2 days in advance. I felt really bad about it her wedding was on my birthday and I got an invite but my boyfriend didn’t,even though we were together for 5 years and living together but whatever that was up to the bride, not me. So I didn’t mention anything about the wedding to my boyfriend because he wasn’t invited I didn’t think it was important to tell him. Anyway 2 days before the wedding I was picking out a dress and it turns out my boyfriend had surprised me with a weekend getaway for my birthday and had already paid for everything. He hadn’t told me anything because he wanted to surprise me. Ugh I felt horrible.  I messaged the bride on Facebook and told her I couldn’t make it and she flipped out on me, understandable. But when I tried messaging her back to tell her I wanted to pay for my plate, add he had deleted me and blocked me. I thought that was a little harsh. I didn’t have her phone number either so I couldn’t even call her. This was about 2 years ago and I still feel bad about it especially now that I’m planning my own wedding. 

Post # 10
Member
3713 posts
Sugar bee

Whatever excuse someone gives, short of accident/hospitalization/death in the family, etc., might sound lame next to the time, planning, and money, you’ve put into one of the most important days, of your life.

The solution, RSVP no, as soon as you are able, declare your regrets ONLY! (no excuses or reasons), and wish the bride and groom a lifetime of happiness. 

Post # 11
Member
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I haven’t told my cousin the wedding date yet and she already texted me to RSVP for my wedding in 2015.  Her kids get carsick.  She can’t possibly make the 2 hours drive (but just made the drive to the City I live two weeks ago with said kids…thank you Facebook for that bit of information!)> 

Post # 12
Member
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

 

livingdeadbride87:  Good grief.  People are nuts about the importance of their weddings and their own lives.  Shit happens sometimes.

Post # 13
Member
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

livingdeadbride87:  yowch! That’s a bad reaction. I would be a bit upset you couldn’t be there (as surprisingly I’m inviting people I want to celebrate with!), but I certainly wouldn’t flip out! 

Post # 14
Member
4596 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

We haven’t gotten any lame excuses as of yet, but I have gotten one from a friend for my shower/bachelorette party that’s next weekend.

She’s someone who rarely shows up to anything you do, and then makes a ton of excuses for the reason. This time, it’s cos she just started a new job and has training out of town on a Saturday and may not be back by 5 when the party starts… but wanted to know where we were going after the painting party to meet up.

One… who has training on a Saturday of Labor Day weekend for a bank? And second, she is notorious for saying she’ll meet up later and then not showing up… so I don’t buy that. I think I’m just so upset with her excuse cos she got married in May, and I was one of three personal attendents. Her bachelorette party was in a city 3.5 hours away where the majority of us had to drive to, and then spend money on gas, hotel, dinner at the hotel, cabs, cover charges and drinks. And yet, she can’t even make my party and pay the $35 for painting.

Post # 15
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

“Im traveling the country until April 1st” – my wedding was on April 19.  Still havent figured that one out.

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