Post # 1
My FI’s cousin is getting married in May. We received our invitation in the mail on Saturday. It was addressed to my FI, myself, and our toddler. We also have an infant, but his name was not included. Are baby’s names suppose to be included? Technically he’s not been invited correct? I’m wondering though if it was a mistake.. I’d understand if my toddler’s name wasn’t on the invitation, but why invite an almost 3 year old and not a baby that will be 5 months at the time of the wedding? (Because honestly, if a child is going to be loud during the ceremony….it’d be my toddler, not my baby…though I would remove them asap!!) How do I go about asking if he’s just not invited or if it were a mistake? I don’t want to be rude about it but I’m just confused.
Post # 3
It’s possible that those names are on the invite because that’s who the bride would need to worry about meals for. She may be expecting to have a kid’s meal for the toddler, but obviously a chair and a meal aren’t needed for the baby.
Since you’re wondering if the baby is invited, I assume you’d bring the baby if you could? If so, I’d maybe check with FI’s mom or the bride’s mom to see if they’re aware of the bride’s kids policy. I’d tell them you’re happy to leave the baby home, you just want to make sure you understood the rsvp correctly.
Post # 4
You are correct that at this point your baby has not been invited. Invites should not be implied. That being said, I would also guess it’s a mistake. Maybe they weren’t aware that you had another baby? I would have your FI ask. Either his cousin or his aunt/uncle. Something like – “It’s totally fine if the baby isn’t invited, but I just wanted to be sure I had things correct that my toddler is invited but the baby needs to stay home.” And if they say the baby is not invited, get a sitter (although I agree that the toddler is more likely to cause a ruckus than the baby). If they say, “Oh, my bad!” then the whole family gets to go. But since it is definately unusual to invite 1 kid and not the other, I think it’s okay and a good idea to ask. And do it quickly so that you can send in your RSVP correctly.
Post # 5
I would definitely ask. She may have just listed the people she needed a meal count for. Having the RSVP card come back with a 4 when she needs only 3 meals might throw her off (plus the baby doesn’t need a seat)
Post # 6
Thanks everyone! 🙂 I did think maybe she did it that way because my baby doesn’t need a meal or seat. Or possibly they made the guess list before our baby was born (I know they’ve been planning since last fall and I had my son in January). I’ll just have FI ask his cousin though!
ETA: The bride’s mother sent the invitations so she probably doesn’t know we have an infant as well.
Post # 7
Yeah, my thought was that the guest list was made out before you had the baby, but the meal thing is a good point. Either way, I’d contact them to make sure!
Post # 9
as i was addressing our save the dates and thinking of which names to include in our website for RSVP’S – i didnt include the kids that would be needing a meal. if they were a toddler that would sit on their own, use a plate & eat a meal – i wrote their names. i guess i assumed that my family would know their babies are welcome with their guest or +1. this is a good thread, ill definitely make sure i think of all family members when addressing our invites!
Post # 10
FI is going to call on his break at work and double check so we can get our RSVP out asap. 🙂
@wifegoodman: Before getting out invitation I questioned if they would invited the kids at all, but to see one on invite and not the other threw me off!