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I think it is good to have a # of guests line. Like you said, some people may come alone, and then also some people may misunderstand the no children rule. At least if you get an RSVP back with 3, you can talk with them about it before the wedding.
If you don't want people to put in a higher number than 2, and you're only inviting couples, could you do something like this? All the cards would then be the same, but no one could add extra guests.
M____________________________
_ will be there! _ cannot attend.
M___________________________
_ will be there! _ cannot attend.
We did ours like this:
__ of ___ attending
I filled in the 2nd blank so the guests knew how many were invited. We've only had one person write over what we put (they were invited as a single and are bringing a guest). We're letting this one slide...one person won't make or break us!
If only one person of a couple can make it wouldn't they indicate that in the m_____________ line? Like If Mr. Williams can make it but Mrs can't, wouldn't he fill in:
Mr. Williams delightfully accepts.....or Mrs. William delightfully accepts.....or Mr. and Mrs Williams delightfully accepts?
centerpiece.jpg (532 KB, 42 downloads) 1 year old
I think the concern is that adding a "__ of 2 guests attending" line also helps keep people from adding on their babysitter or great aunt suzie.
I'm planning on adding a line like this, but it still feels a little in-your-face to me. I'm interested to see whether people think this could be seen as rude.
Our response cards said "We have reserved __ seat(s) in your honor," and we filled in the blank by hand. I thought that was a pretty unobtrusive way to do it. I haven't heard that anyone was offended. That said, well in advance of the wedding we told all of our friends and family with kids that we weren't having anyone younger than 13 at the wedding and were instead hosting a "kids reception" at the hotel across the street.
I personally am not a fan of the "____ of 2 attending". It's not at all subtle. Etiquette-wise I think you're better off just putting the names of those invited on the envelope and hoping that they know that that means just who is invited. That's all we did on our invites, and so far I've only had one person (my cousin) add a guest. I figure it's karma since I brought my fiance to a bunch of family weddings, and I have no recollection whether he was ever officially invited. Whoops!
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All of our guests will be invited as couples (no children, and if an invitee is single we're sending an & guest invite) and our RSVP language says:
m___________________________
_we will be there!
_we cannot attend
I didn't include a line for # of guests attending in my first round of edits. However, I've seen this done recently and am wondering if other brides have found it necessary or helpful at all. I'm torn because I don't want guests with children to assume that this line indicates they can mark "3" and bring a child. But, we also may have guests who are married but only one person can make it.
How have you handled the RSVP wording?