Post # 1
What do I do? The RSVPs for our October 17th wedding were due yesterday. Only 125/250 invites were returned. Out of these, the acceptance rate is only 50%….why is it so low?? Does no one want to come to our wedding?
If they are not going to come, they should at least RSVP “no” so that we know!!! Now I’m supposed to try to contact 125 people???? Two weeks before the wedding???
So the “yes” list is at 210 people. We had counted on about 450 people–that would have been a 75% acceptance rate out of the total number invited. So I’ve been preparing for that many guests. We ordered alcohol, did favors and centerpieces and programs for that number, cut back in other areas to accomodate food charges for that many…and it all seems like such a waste! I can’t finalize the cake, food, or flowers until we know how many people to expect! My fiance and I even cut many of our friends from school since my mom assured me that her distant relatives had to be invited and would show up if they were invited. It’s too late now to invite anyone else.
I don’t know what to do! I realize that some of the RSVPs will still come in, hopefully. Also, I am from a small town where no one really sends out RSVPs. But come on, people! It’s a freakin’ stamped envelope, you should know what to do with it, put it in the freakin’ mail! How do I estimate what percentage of these approximately 200-250 people–HALF the guest list!–will show up? It wouldn’t be as big of a deal if the numbers weren’t so high. If I guess wrong, I am either going to have way too much or too little food and cake.
At least there is one bright side…the friends and family who are most important have RSVP’d….but what to do about all of the other people???
Post # 3
move to your B list (ie, friends from school you couldnt invite)… ring them and say “havent received your RSVP yet – are you coming?” and play dumb when they say they didnt get your invite 😉
hopefully this means you can free up some much needed funds and im sorry that people are so stupid and rude these days they dont have the decency to respond
Post # 4
It sucks but I’d start tracking people down. When it came down to the date, my FI, my mom, his mom, and I divided it up with the people who were closest with us, made a phone call, email, text, whatever and just tracked them down.
Post # 5
Do you have bridesmaids? If yes, emergency call to action! Give them each fifty people to call. It’s an emergency, they can help you out.
Then, if the number of attendees is really that low, call your old friends.
Post # 6
I know it hurts but try not to take the no’s personally. We only had a 50% acceptance rate for our wedding too. At first I was very hurt and humiliated, but then I realized that a lot of my older relatives are not as young as I rejmember them (haven’t seen them in a long time) and they are a little too old to travel that far. There is probably a good reason like this why you are getting all those no’s too. I’m sure they would attend if they could 🙂
Post # 7
We had a 55% acceptance rate. It worked out fine, no worries =]
Post # 8
I’m sorry youre in this situation. The above posters have some good suggestions. I too would recommend dividing up the tasks of calling/texting/whatever the remaining guests among you, your FH, moms, MOH, whoever.
What I have seen based on other wedding message boards is that when people have these really huge guest lists in the 500s, about half the guests show up. I think the reason is that when you have that many people, you really just can’t possibly be close to ALL of them, so a lot of people end up not bothering to respond or come. What does suck is that even after inviting 500 people you were not able to include all of your friends. If it’s a small town and your wedding is in town, maybe your friends can still make it on short notice?
Post # 9
Thanks for all of the advice! I am going to have the moms and bridesmaids help out. Hopefully we can get all the responses in the next few days! 🙂
Post # 10
If Mom insisted the relatives would come, then Mom can start calling them. Divide friends up among your BMs. Your friends and family want to help you with this wedding, let them!
Post # 11
I would LOVE to have a 50% acceptance rate and have a smaller intimate reception! But then again I know about food and beverage minimums since I’m an event coordinator. I agree w/ eloping…go to your B-list or have your Bridesmaids call everyone who hasn’t responded to try and get a definite yes or no answer.
Post # 12
yes you definately need to contact the other 125 to see if they can attend! If you have bridesmaids they can help with it and then if you find out most cant come you can invite your friends you had to drop off the list in the first place. I can imagine this must be so frustrating 🙁
Post # 13
So I am working on calling right now…but it seems like no one wants to help me call! I want to get this done as soon as possible, but my mom and sisters seem to act like it can wait…
And as I am working on this and getting “no” after “no,” it really sucks! I think the acceptance rate is going to be around 40%…..It sucks because I had always wanted a huge wedding with tons of friends and family. I thought I would get a huge wedding by inviting about 600 people! Little did I know that no one would want to come to my wedding…
I’m trying to look on the bright side…I am going to splurge on some wedding makeup since we don’t have to feed as many people!
Post # 14
Don’t worry about it, it’s not that no one wants to come. And bigger doesn’t always mean better! Look at it this way; quality time with the people who DID come, right?
Post # 15
Split the list between several people and start calling them. Tell them you need a yes or no right then cuz you need to get the list to the caterer ASAP. We sent out 30 invites and have only gotten 10 back, so I know the feeling. Some people jsut feel you should already know that they are coming, but we’re not mind readers!!
Sucks you have to do extra work, but with a huge list like you have there’s no way around it
Post # 16
In my book 40% of 600 is still a mighty big wedding!
Good luck calling people. Sorry your mom and BMs don’t want to help. That sucks. I bet between you & Mr Run you’ll be able to fly through that list of 125…one by one.
Hang in there.