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If it's an adult only-reception, then put your foot down and let people know that you cannot accomodate children. Also, for those adding people to the RSVP you need to do the same, saying something along the lines of " while we'd love to have everyone we know attend, we are having a smaller wedding and our venue only accomodates a limited number of people, so we can't allow anyone to attend who wasn't on the invitation".
@mrstilly: Thank you. The problem is my mother started calling people who hadn't sent in the RSVPs yet and told someone it was ok to bring their child. I didn't want that to happen because word gets around fast in my family. I'm sure I'm going to here "You let soandso bring their kid, why can't I bring mine." I didn't want any of that to start.
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I am having a very small wedding. It started out with hoping there would be between 25-30 people, which has now turned into 40. The issue I'm having is people are substituting people on the RSVP cards. I have a very large family, therefore couldn't invite children. On two occasion, I have had someone RSVP for themselved and a child instead of a spouse. We are literally at the breaking point of being able to hold everyone in our location. Has this happened to you? Am I overreaction about being mad?