Post # 1
So, we’re getting the last of our RSVP responses in, and my Fiance and I are a little hurt by some of our friends that aren’t coming to the wedding. It’s not that they can’t come, but it’s that they didn’t really say why, even though they’ve been hinting that they would come for months. (“We can’t wait for your wedding” or “We’ll see you in May” etc)
I think it’s a little irrational of us, but I guess we just figured since they’re good friends (and we have/would travel to go to their weddings without question), we would get some sort of “Oh, I’m so sorry, but we actually can’t make it that weekend because we have a family trip to blah blah blah.” We did get a few of those responses, and we’ve always responded back with a “I’m so sorry you guys can’t make it. We completely understand. Have fun at blah blah blah.”
We also have friends that never hinted that they would come, and they RSVP-ed “no” and we’re perfectly OK with it.
Truthfully, we probably would have just preferred any excuse over nothing. I know there are always personal reasons that some people don’t necessarily want to share, but I guess I am just diappointed since they told us how much they are looking forward to the wedding (on a frequent basis) since our engagement 1.5 years ago!
Anyone else feel that way? (I guess it also bothers me because we had some space issues and always counted them as “for sure coming” when we were trying to figure out who and how many people to invite. We have other friends we couldn’t invite because they said they were coming)
Post # 3
Try not to take it personally. I don’t think that people really think of an RSVP as a mode of communication really. At least I didn’t until I got engaged. I’ve never written anything other than checking the appropriate boxes. Now that I’m engaged I feel kind of badly about those that I RSVP’s no to with no explanation… but it was in no way malicious.
Post # 4
I had the same thing happen to me recently and I made a post about it. A lot of people pointed out that I was probably just being hyper-sensitive and most people don’t write anything on the RSVP when they decline anyway. However, like your situation, this friend had commented before that he was excited for our wedding, so I thought there was a good chance he would come even though he would have to come from out of town. He sent in the RSVP with a decline and no note, and I was a little bothered by it. I’m sorry about how you feel – I know it kinda sucks.
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden
I totally know how you feel – this came up for us too. I would definitely not take it personally, and just assume they didn’t think to write anything on the card. You’ll have a great time with all the people who WILL make the effort to come out!
Post # 6
When we were choosing our venue, the venue we ultimately chose had two dates left that could work. Aug 28th, or July 9th. Fiance has an uncle that talked to his parents that he really wanted to come, but had to go back to university teaching prior to the 28th, so he would love it if we could book earlier in the summer. So, we took the July 9th date (a Friday, in the middle of my absolute peak allergy season) so he could come, because FI’s family lives across the country, so we really wanted those who were willing to make the trip to be able to do so.
Guess what I get in the mail the other day… that’s right, a “no” RSVP with no further explanation.