RSVP Question!!

posted 3 years ago in October 2013
Post # 3
5460 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Does this person have to travel to be at the wedding?  Will he know many other people there?

It’s presumptuous of him to assume he was invited with a guest, but it might be best to just let this one go.  Unless you’re exceeding the capacity that your venue and your budget can handle, this probably isn’t a hill you want to die on.

Post # 5
2002 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

When it comes to the guest list I found I had to choose my battles carefully. This happened to me too with a few friends that weren’t dating anyone and did not receive an “and guest” invite…infact the ppl we knew who were in serious relationships had their name and their SO’s name on the invite specifically…but I digress.

This is one battle I’d let go. It’s really just one person and you won’t even notice them on your day; you’ll be too happy and busy to give it a single thought with all your loved ones around you. And maybe they will go on to be a very serious couple, who knows!

Now, if one of your FI’s friends’ wife asks to bring along a friend of hers that will be in town, whom you’ve never ever met, making their’s a party of three, then you absolutely can put your foot down and say, hell no! (This happened to me and I was shocked someone would think that was an okay request to make of the bride and groom).

Good luck with your rsvps, and be thankful if this is the only problem you have with them!  (I also had a guest bring her brother as her date because her bf couldn’t make it and I had no idea who he was at our reception until late into the night. It probably would have really pissed me off if I’d known before the wedding day but it turns out he was a great asset to the dance floor and socialised with a lot of the guests! So I let it roll off my back and enjoyed my night.) Pick your battles. 🙂

Post # 6
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

This happened to us, too.

My fiance’s younger colleague, “Bob,” RSVP’d for two and said the girl he had just started dating THAT WEEK was so excited to attend our wedding. My fiance and I talked about it and agreed that since Bob is so young and hasn’t attended many wedding, he didn’t realize he’d made a faux pas.

The next day at work, my fiance gently explained to Bob that the invitation was only for him–that’s why it was addressed only to him. But no big deal cuz we knew Bob hadn’t been to a lot of weddings. Then he teased Bob for falling so hard and fast for this girl and aw shucks blah blah blah…

Before anyone asks: Bob won’t have to travel, and he’ll know all the other office dudes who are invited. It’s all good.

Post # 7
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I would let the guest come.  If it makes the guy feel more comfortable.  At least he will know someone.  Like you said YOU barely know him.  He might turn around and say no if you say he can’t bring his guest.  I would just let it go.

Post # 8
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I would just let him bring a guest.  This happened to me, at first every time I got an RSVP with someone wanting to bring an univited guest I got stressed and upset.  Then I finally just decided to get over it.  I’ve had enough people RSVP no, that I now have room for their guests.  I had about 5 people do this! I’m conviced most of my friends really have never been invited  to a wedding before. I would have had more than 5 people do this, but I finally started having other friends sort of spread the word and from my understanding a lot of my friends said “I had no idea the invite had to say and guest”.

Post # 9
1878 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I would see where you are with the numbers…. if you have 20 ppl do this then yes put your foot down – for one it might not be worth it.


I want people to be happy and having fun at my wedding and if I have to pay for a few extra ppl dinners then whatever at this point!


I have actually been getting more no than I expected (2 fam members & 2 friends of MOG in the hospital, college homecoming and wedding of family member for 2 ppl) so I am finally starting to feel stress free about my #s and am letting up on the +1s

Leave a comment

Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors