Post # 1
My fiance was recently invited to a wedding.. this is a friend from HS whom he has not seen for a long time.
The save-the-date and the invitation were addressed only to him. Of course, being wedding-obsessed, I assume that I’m not invited since it doesn’t say ‘and guest’ or whatever. FI thinks otherwise, since the couple has broken several traditional rules already (RSVP by text, for example).
So basically, is it worth it for FI to ask his friend if he can bring me? Otherwise he doesn’t want to attend. Thanks for your insight 🙂
Post # 2
Does it say anything like “__ seats have been reserved in your honor?”.
If it doesn’t specifically say 1, or just have his name on the rsvp, then I’d say call and ask.
Post # 3
I would double check as well, some people have limited funds and limited availability, others just may not know proper ettiquette. It’s worth checking in my opinion, just don’t be upset if they only invited your husband.
Post # 3
We gave everyone a +1 on our guest list, but we didn’t write “and guest” on the invites of unmarried couples (because we didn’t want to look up everyone’s full names). But, we did include a # of seats reserved line on the rsvp cards, so it’s fairly clear that you can bring a plus one. If their invites don’t mention the number of spots reserved, your FI should probably contact the couple to clarify.
Post # 5
MrsZynxy: you can always ask. Sometimes it’s a legitimate oversight, so it’s worth asking. As long as you’re gracious no matter the response, then it’s fine. Granted, the couple should be gracious in accepting your response, no matter what it is 🙂
Post # 6
I would approach it differently. Rather than ask if he can bring you, he should ask if they meant for you to be included “Did you know that ___ and I are engaged?”
They may not have known that he was engaged, and may be quite fine with him bringing you.
Post # 7
MrsZynxy: I would call and ask. Perhaps the friend didn’t know if your FI was with someone.
Post # 8
Thanks, everyone! I agree that it may have been an oversight since they haven’t been very close recently. If I’m not invited, I will not be upset and I’ll try to convince FI to go anyway 🙂
Post # 9
MrsZynxy: No you do not call and ask. He sends back a NO RSVP. If they meant to invite you they will ask about you.
These things drive me nuts. The etiquette is quite clear. Only those listed by name are invited. It is likely they have been clear in their invitations (however rude it is to not include social units) and asking just puts them in an awkward position.
Post # 10
I have a GF who recently sent out invites and mine was addressed with no indication of SO and I thuoght she must have made a mistake so I just politely asked… it was kind of awkward but she brought SO up so it was good timing. She said she didn’t realize she was supposed to put his name on it, she thought I’d have know he was ‘obviously’ invited
andielovesj: Not everyone knows the etiquette I guess… If they did then there wouldn’t be an etiquette section with hundreds of threads!
Post # 11
I can’t think of anything I’d want to attend less, than a wedding of my husband’s friend from high school, when he’d be sitting with other male friends from high school – or at the bar all night, probably drinking plenty of adult beverages, and re-living their glory days.
And If I were the bride and someone showed me the quote “the couple has broken several traditional rules already (RSVP by text, for example),” you wouldn’t want to hear my response.
Just wait until you try to collect RSVPs and you learn to accept them any way you can get them; phone, text, e-mail, private message on Facebook, word of mouth, carrier pigeon – it’s like pulling teeth, to get a response out of some people.
Post # 12
- Wedding: April 2015 - Family Farm
andielovesj: Why should he HAVE to send back a No? Perhaps he would like to go. I don’t think there is an issue inviting one person.
Plus OP said herself that they haven’t been close in recent years. Perhaps they don’t know that the couple is engaged.
Post # 13
Olgarie: She said he wouldn’t go without her. If he wants to go without her, then he should reply yes. If they meant to include the OP, they will ask why she didn’t reply and if she was going to be able to make it.
It doesn’t make asking if they did in fact mean to include the OP any more polite or less awkward.
Post # 14
MrsZynxy: I think your FI should text or call the couple and mention you and see what happens. If they aren’t that close, they might not have been aware you were around.
Post # 15
MangoSong: andielovesj: andielovesj: robynrox47: megz06: julies1949: jenilynevette:
Update: turns out I was invited! Thanks for all the advice, everyone!
PABride: I was not trying to be rude with the “traditional rules” comment. I was simply noting what my fiance and I had observed so far in terms of ‘etiquette,’ and I don’t necessarily agree with all the traditional etiquette anyway!