Post # 1
So my RSVP deadline for overseas guests was Aug 6. That gave my FI more time to figure out their phone numbers and track them down. He’s still (sadly) in process of calling most of them since people apperently can’t be bothered to RSVP yes or no.
Anyway one of his relatives has two homes in two different countries. We only sent one invite to the main house (country A) . We don’t know if he got it or if he was in Country B. So the problem is no one in the family has a phone number for him in Country B or an address. His daughters think that is where he is now, but he basically goes to Country B to shut himself out of the world for a bit. And he only checks FB to talk to his daughters from time to time when he’s in Country B. My FI has emailed him, FB messaged him, and left two voicemails on Country A’s phone. He is FOUR weeks past his RSVP.
I think we should just count him as declined at this point. Problem being he is rich so maybe he’ll just decide in October to book a flight and show up at the wedding. Ergh. Which I am fine with him coming IF HE TELL US HE WANTS TO COME. But I don’t like guessing at what is basically a 200 dollar meal- I’m NOT rich, and can’t account for people who don’t bother to RSVP.
So my question is this- Do we send him an email/FB message that says we tried to get in touch with you at this point we assume you are not coming and have marked you as declined? Is there a nice way to say don’t bother coming since you can’t bother RSVPing?!
Has anyone else had to deal with this?!
Post # 3
I’m not sure how to handle this. You said its $200 per person for food???
If you can I would leave him a spot and fill it with someone else later on if he decides not to go. Is this someone who was expected to come?
I have family members that might not RSVP and then just show up thats why we are having a more casual thing and doing buffet. I didn’t want to deal with headaches like yours. ;/
Post # 4
In this case, as you know he checks facebook from time to time, I would leave him a facebook message and ask him to contact you re your wedding on (insert date).
Rather than call him out publicly when he may not have received the invitation, I would carry on further communication privately.
Post # 5
@ julies1949 I’m not sure why you think it would be a public call out? Wait did you think I meant posting on his FB wall? I meant a private message in FB. We have also ALREADY FB messaged him, called and emailed him to find out if he would come- he hasn’t responded. 🙁
@Mrs Christopher : We don’t really expect any of the overseas guests to come. We are plesently surprised when they say yes. We really don’t know what to expect due to the cost of travel and other complications with overseas guests.
Post # 6
What’s your caterer’s contingency plan? Our caterer specifically state in the contract that they pack along extra guest meals in the event we have overflow, and we only need to pay if those meals are utilized. If that’s the case, then you can just assume he’s not coming and then you’ll still be covered if he is.
In addition, on our wedding day, we had a few spouses/+1 not show up for various reasons. One couldn’t get out of work after all and another got sick. So there’s always the possibility that at least one of your seats opens up.
If you’ve literally tried every possible way of locating him (besides calling in law enforcement – haha), then I would just give it up and count him as not available. I see your wedding is in October. When do you have to give your caterer the final numbers?
Post # 7
I would just count him as a no for now and deal with the problem (if there is one) when he contacts you.
Post # 9
I say assume he’s not coming and don’t say anything to him. You can always add an extra person last minute if he does decide to come.
Post # 10
Give him the final date you need to know by (in fb message, email, however the best way is to get in touch) and tell him that if you do not get a response by that date, you will mark him down as a no.