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That would annoy me too! I can sympathize for sure. I think a lot of people really just don't realize how important the RSVP is because I've heard of this happening all too often! Not only do they not realize you really need the info, sometimes people assume you know they're coming... but how could you know? I mean, you know they care about you and want to be there but you can't be sure they're able to come. And then there are others that are so bummed that they can't make it that they postpone the bad news. Sucks, but I'd get to callin!
I hear you! We're 9.5 days out and 25 outstanding... not including the 10 or so family members who I finally caved on and just marked as "yes." I really don't get why they can't just reply... but I'd like to think they don't know they're being rude (and maybe it's been that long since their wedding they don't remember what it's like).
PS. Mom's can be wrong too on those "well I know their response"... we have an out-of-town couple coming who FMIL "knew" wouldn't make it out!
hahah i'm so dealing with this right now... our deadline was monday, I know a holiday no mail so I was gracious until Wed... well it's thursday people and still over half are missing.. also it's funny my FI entire side, well his mother's side has not responded at all.. unbelievable
I so feel your pain!
I'm dreading this scenario but I know it will happen as it seems to happen to everyone. I just don't understand what is SOOOOO difficult about checking a box or whatever and dropping something in the mail. It's so rude. I never ever miss RSVP deadlines, even before I was doing my own wedding planning.
Enlist your BMs to help with the calls. I've been brought in for that task as a BM many times.
Our deadline is today too!! When i get home tonight i have to go through and see how many people haven't responded yet either. And yes it annoyed me sooo much when my FI was like so and so told me they were coming. I was like NO you cannot mark them as coming until we get their card. He thought i was crazy!! 
Yikes, that seems like a lot more than average. Hopefully your mom's can both help out to ease the burden a bit.
I feel you, though. While we didn't have that many people be late with their response, the ones that were kept saying, "we need more time to decide." I felt like saying, "Umm, you had TWO months since you got the invitation. You need to decide now," but we gave them all an extra week. We actually never even heard back from one of my friends after she said she was most likely coming, but needed to arrange travel (three hour drive). I called/e-mailed her three more times over a two-week span, and she never got back to me. In my last e-mail, I said, "I'm assuming you're not coming" (in a nice way, of course), but still, how annoying, right?
We are 2 weeks PAST our "Reply By" date, and we still have about 20% missing. We sent out emails last night to people. It is just annoying! We need to give head counts to the caterers next week. If they don't reply by then I may just tell them they will not have a seat for dinner. I am not paying for food for people who don't reply. People have been "telling us" too instead of sending the cards back. I mean, what did I spend money on stamps for anyway? Ugg!
Uhhh - I'm glad someone understands! FI was so tired of hearing me bitch about it last night, but I mean come on people! Although I just heard today that someone JUST got their invite in the mail yesterday - even though I mailed them a month ago. I'm starting to be more pissed off at our local postal service than anything. And I'm glad ppl agree that "telling you" doesn't make up for not sending the card back... I went through hell and back to get special stamps to make everything look nice. And they are postcards, so it's not like people have to even lick an envelope to mail it back! Just write your name, check a box, and put it in the mailbox!
I have a good one. I had one person send back the card blank and the only way we knew was they had put a return address label on the envelope. We cannot make any easier for people like you said they are stamped and ready to go.
I've got a little less than four weeks for the RSVP to come in on my destination wedding. We sent Save the Dates back in early September. You sort of figure at the STD point, you kind of make a decision "Yes" "No" or "Maybe" and by the time the invitation arrives, you know.
We sent over 50 over three weeks ago. We've received 9.
It blows my mind. Have people never been to or held weddings before?
I think they feel because it's a destination wedding, they don't need to RSVP. Maybe they think we just put the card, envelope and stamp in there to be quaint and like to blow money on expensive stationary.
I can see me Bridezilla-ing over this.
Another question for this thread...did any of your receive RSVPs for MORE people than were on the invitation (i.e. did some of your single friends RSVP dates when no "and guest" was specified)? Our ceremony venue only holds 250 and we're really limited on the guest list. I have a couple of friends that I'm afraid would try to pull this...one namely who wore WHITE to her SISTER'S wedding.
Ugh - this is a universal problem, I think...what really got me when this happened to us was the couple who had just gotten married themselves recently who didn't bother to RSVP. When we called them about it she just said "Oh, we assumed you'd know that we're coming!"
Can memory possibly be that short? I could understand if we'd messed up sending our RSVP to their wedding on time, but that wasn't the case.
We're 4 weeks from our deadline and we have over 50% still outstanding. And I agree, it's people who I never thought wouldn't send cards back.
What is wrong with people?! I went through the same thing. Both my husband and I sent out a mass email to everyone we knew kindly "reminding" them to send in their RSVP. We needed them for entree choices, so we said if we didn't receive them within a week, they weren't eating! I think it got the point across. :) And we had to get our parents to make a few calls too.
I don't get people. At all. Hey! Hey, buddy, I gave you a stamp. Make a decision. One decision. I've been making stupid decisions for months, pal. MONTHS! Trivial decisions so you could or could not (please check one) have a good time at the party!
It's not like sitting on the RSVPs turn them into dollar bills. The RSVPs are going to get buried, people will lose them and forget.
Almost worse? People we know are coming, haven't sent in RSVPs. They're booking hotel rooms.
I don't deny that not returning an RSVP card is bad form, truly. I have, however, called one couple to RSVP because I knew that they would not receive the mailed RSVP prior to the cut-off date.
I also don't deny how incredibly annoying and frustrating it is to have people fail to respond altogether - whaddya supposed to do, use a Magic 8 Ball to determine whether or not the non-responders might show?
However, I am going to give the masses the benefit of the doubt, and say that people don't do it to be overtly rude. The truth of the matter is that it is another piece of mail that needs to be sorted, and dealt with . . . kind of like a bill with a must-pay-by deadline. And they haven't been living, breathing, and sleeping wedding planning like we Bees!
((Hugs)) to the OP - hopefully your MoH, BM(s), or your Parents can help you out with this one.
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Today is our deadline, and we still have 76 missing! More than half... and it's people that I would never expect to be late on something like this! If they drop it in the mail today, or this weekend, then fine, I understand. But really, more than half? Do people not realize that they are being rude, or do they just not care. Also does it annoy anyone else when a mom or FI says, "Well, I know they are coming, so you can just mark them as yes". Maybe they are coming, but they can still send back their card!