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What about writing each name on the invite on a separate line, and then next to the name leave a check box for yes or a check box for no?
that would mean making different RSVP cards for each family or guest though wouldnt it ?
how about "we have reserved 2 (or how many you give them) seats in your honor" although i do like adding the name option but that could be time consuming
You could put
____ of _____(with number written by you in advance) will be attending
I like thw we reserved 2 seats in your honour. My Dads like your family and he probably wouldn't get it. We are just having a late lunch so I told my mom if we run out of food because he inviteted the whole town he is ordering late nigt pizza.
I used the "___ seats have been reserved in your honor" option. I think it's clear without being tacky.
@x0gabiicak3z: Unfortunately, the wording you would like use isn't consistent with proper wedding etiquette and would be considered impolite.
The very best way to control who will respond to your invitation is to use inner envelopes that clearly state who is being invited.
If you address the outer envelope of your invitation to Mr. and Mrs. John Smith (or, Ms. Jane Doe and Mr. John Smith, or whatever would be appropriate for the couple in question) and then clearly list on the inner envelope exactly who is invited: Mr. and Mrs. Smith (or Ms. Doe and Mr. Smith), it's exceptionally clear that only two people are being invited to your wedding.
The wording for the response cards would be:
M___________________
____ will attend
____ unable to attend
If the Smiths' RSVP shows up with their names and a simple checkmark beside "will attend," then you can presume that two people will be attending. If, however, the Smiths' decide to write the number 6 next to "will attend," or if they write the names of additional people who were not invited, you would simply call a member of this couple and kindly explain that, unfortunately, the invitation was extended only to the two of them, and that, as much as you would love to be able to share your special day with others, it's just not possible.
@x0gabiicak3z: Well, on the RSVP card you could have a note at the bottom stating something like "this affair is limited to adult only" (helps eliminate kids and/or partygoers w/kids).
Then, you could have a line that says ____ of ____ will be attending OR "Please list names of attendees" but only provide the number of lines you are willing to extend as invites. That way, you actually have names of people who, if they bring more than what is listed on the RSVP, you can go harrass about bringing too many people! 
Well, maybe not YOU harrass, but say your MOH or MOB/MOG?
I know where you are going with the wedding etiquette but normal wedding etiquette is thrown out the window with his extended family that's why the whole ___ will be attending won't work because in any case they will RSVP and most likely check the will attending box and then bring people with them that is why I news to state clearly the amount of guests I'm reaching out to
and I really like the we have received __ seats in your honor
and the __ of ___ guests attending and me writing the number in might go very well together
the whole adults only wouldn't be correct because we will be having children that are close to us there and then have them show up and felt lied to
Most people do something like this:
"We have reserved ___ seats in your honour"
You fill in the blank (in PEN!) before you send it out. That way they know how many the "max" is, without saying it outright/rudely.
@Brielle: HAHAHAHAHA!
NO ONE in their right mind reads the horror stories on this site about guests inviting extras & doesn't put in a "___ seats have been reserved in your honour"/"___ out of ___ will be attending" line in their RSVPs. Also, inner envelopes are wasteful.
Besides, according to traditional etiquette, you're not supposed to include response cards at all -- guests are supposed to write a letter themselves, either accepting or declining the invitation, and use their own money to buy a stamp. But that doesn't happen anymore either now, does it?
I thought about not even doing RSVP and having a wedding site where they can RSVP but I'm horrified of this situation lol so I've decided I'll dish out stamp money just to know in advance
also was thinking of actually writing on the invitation the amount permitted and asking them to bring their invite to be accepted into the reception
does anyone think this is over kill lol
I thought about not even doing RSVP and having a wedding site where they can RSVP but I'm horrified of this situation lol so I've decided I'll dish out stamp money just to know in advance
also was thinking of actually writing on the invitation the amount permitted and asking them to bring their invite to be accepted into the reception
does anyone think this is over kill lol
@Jenniphyr: You're absolutely correct about response cards not being traditional, and, for the one couple among my guests that I knew for certain knew this, I chose not send that couple a response card. However, for the other 200+ people I invited, I did enclose a response card, since I knew that most of the rest of my guests would not understand why one was not enclosed.
Also, I did not use the wording you noted, and I did use inner envelopes, and we did not have one, single, solitary "plus one" or uninvited guest come to our wedding. We also did not receive any response cards that attempted to add any uninvited guests, so, I would say that this worked perfectly in my case.
Actually, a wedding RSVP site might be perfect. We are using a phone RSVP service (we have a designated 1-800 #). The service will only let people respond for the number we listed - for example, "sorry mr. smith, you can't respond for 6. The couple listed 2 people under your invitation."
omg that is wonderful do they offer Spanish as an option and how much is it for the RSVP service ??
@kylesblaire: Love it! I'm traditional enough that I wanted the cards, but this is a fantastic idea!
Thanks. I can't take credit for the idea. One of my colleagues mentioned that he and his wife used it. My ears perked up, he sent me all the details, and I signed us up. I'm not sure if they have a Spanish speaking option, but I imagine they could accomodate. I think a lot of businesses try to accomodate Spanish-speaking customers.
As for the cost, they charge you a price based on your number of invitations. Plus, they told me that I could omit any invitations for folks that we KNEW were coming (our bridal party, our parents, etc). I ended up telling them to count on me having 90 invitations (we ended up with less, but oh well) and I paid $155. Honestly, by the time we nixed the response cards and postage for the response envelopes, we came close to breaking even. And it was worth it for my sanity.
Also, we paid for the most expensive option the provider offered - live operator. We did that becuase we're making accomodations available to our guests for free (our venue has dorm style rooms on site - his fraternity brothers may take us up on it) and we wanted someone to be able to ask them if they wanted a room. You can get the service cheaper if you're willing to have an automated voicemail walk guests through the RSVP process.
Oh, best part, the service we selected included them tracking down (or hounding) guests who didn't RSVP. We just have to give them the phone numbers.
If anyone needs the contact information for the service, just PM me and I'll send it out.
Sorry for the double post. Here at work, I seem to be able to post twice, or not at all. Hopefully I'll be able to do better at home.
For what it's worth, we used inner envelopes with the guests' names AND did a response card with "__ seats are reserved..." and we STILL got someone saying they are bringing an extra person. So, it does happen. We nipped that one in the bud really fast!
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hey bees I need you to put your heads together and help my find a way to word my invitations
so this is the situation, my husbands side of the family are very much party goers so much so that they invite their own friends to certain events they shouldn't ...and obviously I don't want party crashers at my wedding especially since there is limited seating.. in most cases it would be fine to write on the RSVP card
will be attending______
will not be attending ______
___ (#) of attendees
however for me I want to put a cap on it like:
this invitation is limited to _____ guests
and then write how many
I don't if that will be honored but I want a way to make it really clear that if I address the invitation to mr and mrs that does not include your brother inlaw, your kids, their friends, and your mother
and at the same time I don't want to offend anyone so please bees help me assemble a RSVP card that will make it clear that. I want mr and mrs not the whole family or If I do say family I don't mean EVERYONE related to them
please help!!!