Post # 1
Help! If the wording on my invitation says:
It is with great joy that [Bride’s parents] and [Groom’s parents] invite you to celebrate the marriage of their children [bride] and [groom]…. etc…
Is it not OK to have the RSVP card sent to us (the bride and groom)? I’d like to get all the RSVPs but my mom is wanting the wording above. I’d prefer the "Together with our parents.." and to get all the RSVPs. But… they are paying for the wedding and I think this is how they would like to be <span style=”font-size: 7.5pt; font-family: Verdana”>recognized….
What do you think?
Post # 3
I think the RSVPs should go to whomever is going to responsible for them, wether or not that’s the same person who pays for the wedding. I think you can definitely have your parents on the invite as hosting and you receive the RSVPs. I would just let your mom know that you need to keep track of them for the caterer/reception/whatever counts. Good luck!
Post # 4
My parents are hosting but the RSVP card is coming to me. I don’t see a problem with it!
Post # 5
Thanks for the help! So then the return address on the invitation envelope would be who…if my parents are hosting but I’m getting the RSVPs? I think I’m making this more complicated than it needs to be. I’m such an over-analyzer.
Post # 6
I did it the "old fashioned" way… My parents were inviting (and paying), so the return address was theirs, AND the RSVPs went to them. I thought I would feel like I was missing out by not opening up the response cards, but it was still exciting when my mom gave me the update of which response cards she received each day.
Post # 7
I actually haven’t thought about it. I am manning the spreadsheet with all our guests on it so I guess it would make more sense for them to come to me, but my mom may be the one in charge of giving the entree choice to the caterer. I think I’ll have them sent to me just the same, I probably would update her better on the received RSVPS than she, me.
Post # 8
By the way, if all of the envelopes are going to be pre-printed or pre-labeled, you could always have the return address on the invitation be your parent’s address, to show that the invitation came from them, and then the address on the response card could be yours. I think that that is probably somewhat common now.
Post # 9
I would recommend that they come to you…for the sole joy of opening your response cards! That was one of my favorite parts of the wedding planning process.
Post # 10
One note- It is unlikely that anyone will notice whose return address it is on the invite.
I got an invite back two days from when all my invites were do. Even though I had the street and city and state right, I had the wrong zip down. It took two weeks to get returned to me.
Since it was a relative, they already knew about the wedding so no big deal.
But I was glad it came to me, since I am handling all the rsvps, and it was easy to put it in a new envelope and send it out. If it went to my mom, it might have gotten overlooked.
Another thought-my return date was yesterday and I am missing a lot. I have my spreadsheet up to date, so hopefully if I have to make calls it won’t be to painful.
Post # 11
I had the wording like my parents were hosting, but I had the RSVPs sent to me. I didn’t want my mom to have to deal with all of that- plus I’m a control freak with spreadsheets galore!
Post # 12
I’ve seen it done a few ways. Typically the parents who pay have had it returned to them. But then the bride can be out of the loop as to who is coming! Since my FI and I are paying, it is our task to deal with it I believe. Honestly, my parents don’t know who all these people are, are Excel-illiterate, and would probably be irritated with all the people calling to RSVP during the day or posting to our website that they’ve decided to accept. I’m sure an RSVP card or two would have been los, and my dad would constantly be going, "who is this? Why did you invite them? look at all that money going down the drain". Hence their refusal to pay for a "big" wedding. But they would have paid for my FI and I and our immediate family to go to Jamaica for a beach wedding. Meh. I don’t do well with "my way or the highway" ultimatums, can you tell?
For me, it was easier to set up my answering machine at home to deal with the influx of calls. I get an email letting me know so-and-so is coming, and I update my excel sheet on my own. Takes a few minutes and it’s less stressful, honestly.