Post # 1
My fiance and I are having no children at the wedding… except for family which all are over 10. I have had two friends RSVP and added their children to the RSVP. I addressed the envelopes correct and only put Mr. and Mrs ??? ??????. When this happened to others did you email them, call (we are not super close), or what? Also, how did you phrase it so that they dont take it personally? I am sure this happens alot but I just wonder how people will take it?
Post # 3
@Itsallcomingtogether: If you’re not close, I’d absolutely email. I also wouldnt worry about them taking your message “personally”, since it is rude to add people on to an RSVP.
If this were me, I’d simply email: “hey there! got your RSVP. So excited you and ___ are joining us, but unfortunately we do not have the room for any extra guests. I hope you understand!”
Post # 4
I just had the same happen, and haven’t responded because I’m not sure what to do. I feel bad because they are out of town, my FMIL, whose family is doing this might look into finding a baby sitter for them. And then I can reply saying something along the lines of sorry we can’t aCcomodate your child, to help you out we have asked so and so to take care of your kids for the evening.
Post # 5
Similar to the pp. I would email them and say ” We are so happy that you and ___ are able to join us on our wedding day. We are however, not able to extend an invitation to ___ as we are not able to expand the guest list any further. We know you will understand. Please let us know if you need help with a sitter (if they are from out of town).”
Post # 6
say we are excited you and your husband are joining us but we cannot accommodate your children. we are sorry.
if they are traveling from out of town, tell them you can recommend a babysitter.
i wouldn’t say because you don’t have room because that leaves it open, they might say if others decline then there will be room.
Post # 7
@julies1949: This. Perfectly put.
Just be straightforward and to the point, and whatever you do, don’t apologise or give any excuses. Just say that you cannot accommodate any additional guests, and that you are sure they understand. The minute you mention cost/space etc it gives them an opening for ‘negotiations’ which you don’t want.
I also personally would not worry about being direct, or about how it would be taken, as they have made a HUGE faux pas and been incredibly rude by including people who are not invited on their RSVP.
Post # 8
@badabing88: Thanks for all the advice. I finally got the guts to send it!