Post # 1
Okay, I just to need to vent as this is nothing new! My aunt told my mom that she is attending my wedding, so my mom told her to send me back the rsvp card, since I am the one keeping track of the numbers. She said: Why do I need to send back the rsvp? I am family!
WTF!! Just because you are family, you expect me to know that you are coming? At the same time, her husband and 2 sons aren’t coming. And the entire family is invited. But now only she is coming. Hence, the rsvp!! How am I supposed to know how many of her family is attending? Only 1 out of 4 is attending. Am I supposed to telepathically just know that? Even though she told my mom, does she expect me to just remember every verbal rsvp that people tell me?
C’mon PEOPLE, i put a SASE with the rsvp card, how hard is it to just check accept and put in the number attending and then drop it in the mail?
And lastly, she is bringing her 2 year old granddaughter (yep, the 2-year old is not invited, but she is bringing her).
Post # 3
I’m with you. It’s common courtesy to send out the SASE that comes with the invitation. My mother put her foot down and said I am NOT counting you if I do NOT get that card in the mail.. And I’m glad she did that!
How difficult is it to drop a card in the mail?! I think people have a lot of nerve. I’m going through it myself and would love to give people a piece of my mind.
Post # 4
I know, it is very annoying… as if I don’t already have a long to-do list, now she expects me to just remember verbal rsvps? I didn’t spend money printing the RSVP cards and rsvp envelopes AND add a $0.45 stamp on there just for FUN, people! Please use it!
Oh, I just remember that we never even received an invitation for her daughter’s wedding. I assume that is because “we are family”. I was in college at that time, and even at that age without any known knowledge of wedding ettiquette, I thought it was way too informal – no invitations! Just a phone call invite to a wedding!
Post # 5
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
Don’t waste my stamps! Grrr! STILL waiting on two couples to send their cards back- I need meal selections, people! “I’ll put it in the mail this week.” If you don’t, you’re not getting fed, how about that? :)-
Post # 6
My aunt asked my mom the same thing so how many other family members think this
Post # 7
Icannot agree more. I’m having the same issue. Non of my mom side has rsvp’d. Well except for one. They just told me to assume they are all coming! Grrrr
Post # 8
It is so very important to follow up with potential guests who have not returned an RSVP response. One of my friends didn’t receive RSVPs from several people (mostly extended family) for her wedding and instead of calling to confirm if they were planning to attend or not, she assumed they would not be attending and invited others from her “B List” in their place. She was unpleasantly surprised upon arrival at the reception to discover that many of those people who didn’t RSVP showed up and there weren’t enough tables, chairs, or meals. It was a very awkward situation, and she spent the first 20-30 minutes of her reception talking to the venue coordinator about options. The venue eventually set up additional tables and chairs (the linens did not match the custom ones she had rented, of course), but even after that, there still wasn’t enough food.
Post # 9
Oh dear, this sounds like my family. I just got engaged and I’m in the beginning stages of planning, but I just know it’s going to be like this for me! Aggravating.
I hope things go better for you!
Post # 10
@deltorosmistake: if you really think your family is like that, I would say consider a destination wedding. I really wish I did. My family is a pain in the ass to deal with. I still don’t have some rsvps back from them and my deadline was last week. A lot of them are also very rude, because they are superduper blunt, because “they are family”. I am getting to the point where I really dislike them and don’t want to invite them to my wedding anymore, but alas, it is too late – wish I had done a destination wedding. It is not just the rsvp cards, it is all sorts of unfiltered opinions and inconsideration. Every single family that had kids or in some cases grandkids decided that it is okay to write them in the rsvp card – every single one of them! because they are “family” or if they happen to have friends or family visiting at that time, yup, they are bringing them along – it is a forced invitation from me. My mom will not have it any other way, though, she considers it extremely rude to say no and so will my family. So, I am stuck with like 20 kids, some of them can hardly feed themselves, we are talking about newborns and 1 year olds, too. I really hate that they just assume that these kids are invited and don’t even bother to ask me. I probably would have said yes anyway due to pressure, but not asking me first tells me that they have no consideration for me and because they are “family,” they think they can do whatever they want. Like I said, I really dislike them now – family are ruder than friends!
Post # 11
@rebwana: Same way I feel! lol So many people think its ok to just show up! They are gonna be rather hungry when they get there!
Post # 12
I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this! Seriously, who thinks that being related to someone gives you the right to be rude? I agree with the PPs that say it is time to start calling. If ‘we’re family’ gives them the right to not use common courtesy and send the RSVP card back, it also gives you the right to get them on the phone and explain why you need a committment immediately. Best of luck to you!