Post # 1
So we’re 37 days away from our wedding and 16 days away from the RSVP deadline.
We invited 94 guests total, and were hoping for 75 guests the day of. As of right now we have 29 Yes, 4 No, and 61 who have yet to respond.
I’ve heard through the grapevine that about 50 out of the 61 who haven’t responded have mentioned to others that they are not coming. How is it that more than 50% of the people we really wanted to share our day with think so little of us that they won’t come to our wedding??
Included in the “not planning to attend” category: my uncle and grandparents. Ouch.
Has this happened to anyone? Am I only the one? This is really hurting my soul.
Post # 3
*hugs* i’m sorry this hurts you. I’m hoping for you that you’ll get a big bunch in the next few days.
I have some family that i’ve not invited and others that i have invited and won’t attend. I am trying to take a “their loss” attitude about it. I will instead include friends who are near and dear to me and are sincerely happy and excited to witness me marrying the love of my life.
Post # 4
@gumby: I am so sorry to hear that.
Do they have reasons for not coming? Is it a long trip for any of these people?
I really hope that you get a lot more yesses in the coming days.
I’m so sorry.
Post # 5
@ KatNYC2011 – Most of them don’t really have an excuse. The ones that do are pretty weak: it’s close to the wedding-like birthday party we’re throwing 2 weeks later, we’re afraid to fly, won’t be away on business the day of your wedding but I will be away on business other days during that month.
I’m doing a last minute scramble to see who else I could possibly invite that might show up. The way it’s looking half of the guest list will be comprised of coworkers.
Post # 6
@ peanuthead – We only sent out invites to family who are “near and dear” to us, it’s clear we aren’t to them. I always hated the saying “blood is thicker than water” because in my experience my friends have been the only ones I’ve been able to count on.
Post # 7
🙁 Hopefully you will get a bunch more responses in he next two weeks including a bunch of positive ones.
We have local relatives we didn’t invite and out-of-state/country relatives that were invited but can’t or don’t want to make the trip. My grandparents and Fiance grandmother can’t make it because travel is too hard on them at their age. It hurts us that they won’t be there, but there’s nothing we can do about it.
We knew from the start that a large chunk of our guest list was made up of out-of-town people who might not be able to come. We decided that we would rather have a smaller wedding with the close people who can make the trip than a large wedding with local people we aren’t close to.
Post # 8
My wedding is tricky too.I have about that number of people who will be out of town guests.
I am giving them over a years notice.I have asked them all if they would like to attend.Most of them said yes while others said they will try.Will be sending out STD’s in Nov or Dec of this year. And 3-4 months before the wedding.
So they had very advanced notice to put my wedding on the calenders!!!I know things happen,but if I hear from them,I dont have the money to come,or I have a birthday party to attend,etc.,I will be kind of mad.
U had over a year to save,told u about my wedding over a year ago before u even found out that there was a birthday party u just got invited to a month ago,etc,etc.
I figure if they really want to come.they will MAKE THE EFFORT.
If u need to save for it,Ive given u over a years notice!U will probably have things coming up during that time,that is why I gave u a years notice!!So u could put my wedding on your calender,so u dont accidentally put something else on your calender.
And of a course there are emergencies that do happen.I understand that.
But dont pull me in circles or use excuses.
If they want to come,they will make the effort.
Post # 9
In fact,once we agreed on the date,we started telling everyone.So the STD’s is just another reminder.A reminder that is a magnet that can go on the fridge of everybody we invite.
Post # 10
We’re 29 days away from the wedding and 8 days from the RSVP deadline. The count hasn’t changed very much. 30 Yes, 10 No, and 56 who have yet to respond. We did invite two more people within the past week, but they were quick to decline.
@Earlybride – I completely understand where you are coming from. I don’t know why people put so much effort into making excuses when they could use up less effort to just say no. It would save everyone involved so much energy. Two of my closest cousins have been giving me the runaround for months. One of them I had asked to be my maid of honor and it’s looking like she won’t even attend my wedding let alone be my maid of honor. Her excuse is that she’s switching jobs a week before the wedding and doesn’t know if they’ll give her the time off. She knew about the wedding long before the job interview and could have mentioned something to them when she accepted the job offer. My other cousin cites not having enough money to come, which again he’s known about the wedding for >7mos. For the past 4 months each time I speak to him he’s “buying plane tickets this weekend” — we’re less than a month out and he still doesn’t have plane tickets.
Post # 11
((((HUGS)))) I am learning in the wedding planning process that I can’t control what other’s will do and if it’s any consolation, you know that the people who ARE attending love you and Fiance very much and it’s a special occassion to them. I know it’s hard to focus ont he positive when things aren’t going the way we want them to, but try to see the good in this situation:)
Post # 12
@ drakela2 – I’m really, really trying to see the positive in this. But each time I make some headway I get another “no” response. I know the people who will attend really do care for us and are making the effort even when it’s very difficult for them. It’s just disappointing because I went into this knowing a lot of my family would flake out but then I created this fairytale notion in my head that they wouldn’t flake out because they care about me. I just feel that if I had stuck to my gut instinct I wouldn’t be in this position.