Post # 1
We have been planing our small wedding, invited about 50 guests, and as we just passed our RSVP due date, I am happy to say we only have 2 people we are still waiting to hear from.
Our wedding is basically a destination wedding for everyone but us, as both of our families live 6-10 hours away from us. So we knew that not everyone was going to be able to come. But that still didnt prepare me for the sadness factor, when I would check the mail and see we got another “No” response. Two of my very dear friends, who were there with us from the begining of the relationship can’t make it, aunts and uncles can’t come (2 aunts are coming), and the list goes on, there are some people from my FI’s side that also can not attend, but all in all he has more people showing up for him than my side.
I know that everyone is busy, and they have their own lifes and obligations etc etc… but it still makes me a bit sad, and I am not really sure how to handle it.
Post # 3
You enjoy the ones who can make it and have a wonderful day. It sucks when people can’t make it, but it is not a reflection of how they feel about you. Even if they aren’t there your family still loves and supports you.
Post # 4
@ieatunicorns: Couldn’t have said it any better
Post # 5
Plus, no matter who can or can’t make it – it’s still your wedding day! Focus in on that.
Post # 6
That’s tough…… we’re not having a destination wedding and so far we’ve received about half of our responses back. Yesterday we received our first “no” and it did kind of hurt. Although, I am not sure why…. it was some cousin of my mom’s who she was only inviting because he invited her to his son’s wedding. They aren’t close, they don’t even talk – she had to call her sister to find out his address, etc. But it still hurts when someone writes that no, they will not attend your wedding. (I’ve met this guy like twice in my entire life and I pretty much knew he would NOT be coming). It must be hard getting so many nos. A good friend of mine planned a destination wedding – in Jamaica – and they must have invited over 100 people. About 20 went. So I think that’s just the way it goes when people have to travel.
Post # 7
@OliveT right, that feeling is kind of weird…. Like theer are a few people that I knew would say no, and those hurt a bit too. It’s like sad, but your not sure why. I know the day will still be amazing
Post # 8
That’s my biggest fear. We’re now planning our wedding in FI’s hometown… great for his family, but pretty much awful for 80% of the guests who are very much Out of Town. I’m ecstatic about our venue, but terrified nobody will be able to make the trip (esp. my friends/family from Ohio … Massachusetts is a HIKE from there!)
But it is what it is. My hope is enough will come so that it’s a fun, happy event. And I suppose if fewer people can make it, it’ll just mean more time for us to socialize with those who do (:
I guess for your situation… just try and make the most of it with those who can make it. I’m sure those who can’t do feel sad about it, and who knows? You might get a nice card or gift from them to make up for it! Not that gifts/cards are better than the person, but it’s a sweet consolation.
Post # 9
We thought about a destination wedding but were concerned people would not be able to attend so we will just have a great honeymoon and a medium size local wedding.
Post # 10
Many of our “no” RSVPs made me sad, but in the end, they didn’t really affect the joy of my wedding day at all. Honestly, you are so surrounded by love and happiness on your wedding day. And you’re so busy — you barely get to spend enough time with your new husband, wedding party, and parents as it is. I don’t mean this to sound horrible, but on the day of, you won’t notice the absences…only the happiness of those who are there to celebrate with you!
Post # 11
We chose a Destination Wedding because our families were from 2 different parts of the country. The people who mattered came and some surprised us…mostly DH’s extended family. None of his friends came….he’s still hurt by it. Won’t even talk to them even though they’ve started calling us now. Some of his family told us if we had the wedding in his hometown more people would have come. Some suggested 2 receptions but we didn’t see the point…otherwise none of his family would have gone to the wedding.
At least you have your RSVPs. We only got back 1/3 of them but I figured NOBODY would book a flight/hotel w/o telling us they were coming.
FWIW I love to look at our wedding pics and see our “nearest and dearest”….it was definitely a coming together of 2 families!
Post # 12
Awww, don’t feel too hurt. We live in Texas, nowhere near our families, and we’re planning the wedding for here (I didn’t want to try to plan a wedding 1000+ miles away). I’ve invited 117 people, and I think we’re really only going to have 80-90 at the very very most (and perhaps not even that many). Besides, that’s a little more money you can spend on your honeymoon! 😉
Post # 13
Well, if it makes you feel any better, we have 86 Yes’s, and 130 No’s.
Post # 14
We’re in a similar situation – both of us are from out-of-state, met here, and decided to hold the wedding here because it was more fair to make everybody travel than only one side, and because it allowed us to have more control over decisions, etc.The good and bad thing is that we know a lot of people are going to have to decline. That keeps our costs down a bit, but it also means that people we wish could be there will not be able to. We know, though, that they will be there in spirit, and we’re just going to concentrate on enjoying a smallish wedding with the people who are able to make it. It’s always better to focus on what you have and what you can do, than on what you don’t have and can’t do.
Post # 15
I’m sorry but I still think you will have a wonderful day! I too am having a small wedding (40 guests) and haven’t recieved a no yet but I’ve only gotten 5 back so far so it will probably still happen. It will probably sting but can’t expect everyone you invite to come.
Post # 16
@MissCalifornia: Same here. We will get married in the city he’s from, and the city we met and dated in. I moved away for work and he followed me. But it’s a 3 1/2 hour flight for most of my family. So I know a lot of people won’t be able to make it, and I’m a little sad about it, too. 🙁