RSVPS – does anyone else get excited when people decline?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: have you ever been happy when you got a declined RSVP?
    yes! didn't really care if they attended. : (88 votes)
    71 %
    no - everyone on my list i felt i needed to be at our wedding : (21 votes)
    17 %
    i was indifferent...didn't matter either way : (13 votes)
    10 %
    i eloped..no guests! : (2 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    99 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    I’m with you.  I haven’t sent out RSVPs yet (wedding is a year away) but I’m hoping for a big decline rate.  My FI wanted the big wedding and I don’t so I’m hoping lots of those cousins I haven’t seen in years just decide not to come.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1629 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    We didn’t have anybody insist we invite our “2nd cousin whom we haven’t seen in 8 years” (for instance) so we didn’t have our guest list at all bloated. Every decline was sad, as we didn’t invite a single person we didn’t really want there.

    Post # 6
    Member
    4576 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @bretonvirgniia:  There are a few people I know will be invited (family) that I know will be sitting there picking apart every aspect, including me, the entire time. I will not be upset by any means if they do not show up to call my wedding “tacky.”

    Post # 9
    Member
    1397 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    At this point we invited just a few too many people, I need eight more people to decline to come.  We are bummed with those who have declined, but understand why each had to.

    Post # 10
    Member
    4576 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @bretonvirgniia:  I agree, but unfortunately the combination of my conservative family and me not giving a rats ass about formality can be a recipe for disaster. They’ll probably all leave when they see alcohol at the reception, anyways.

    Post # 11
    Member
    104 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I’ve only received one RSVP so far, but I voted yes because FI and I are hoping that about half of the people we invited RSVP no. We both have large families and (after much stress) decided that the easiest thing to do would be just to invite everyone – even cousins we haven’t seen in years… and their SOs that we had never met.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2973 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @bretonvirgniia:  I haven’t sent out my invites yet but….you bet! There are certain people we’re inviting out of respect (that my parents put on the list). And I just can not stand them! Ugh. 

    I doubt they’ll decline though, but you never know! 😀

    Post # 13
    Member
    1090 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    Haven’t gotten to that stage yet, but I’d be hella excited to get a No RSVP from someone I’m not close to. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    1140 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    yes!!! we are just getting ours back in, and we have nos! yay!

    More money! whoot!!

    Post # 15
    Member
    1068 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    My thoughts on this are so mixed!  I’d kind of love to have a closest-friends only wedding.  On the other hand, we need to meet our minimum, and I’d rather pay for cousins than empty seats.  I think my mom would be really pleased if all of her family came, as well.

    Post # 16
    Member
    225 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Haven’t sent out invites yet, but I hope we don’t get a 100% response rate for cost reasons. However, there isn’t really anyone in particular who I feel like “I hope they don’t come.” I will probably be sad about some people but others I am more indifferent about. I think I will probably feel relieved to get some declines.

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