RSVPs…. or NOT!

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
30284 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@gingerkid:  Oh no! It is reasonably normal to have a TON of RSVPs come in/around your deadline date, so maybe they’ll all start coming in bulk soon.  Sending you good RSVP thoughts!!

Post # 4
2358 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’d only gotten 10 out of 30 after four months after invite, with stds sent a year ago. I had to send a reminder to those stragglers to send in their card. and this week I got three more text declines. Still haven’t heard from the others. Deadline is Saturday.  ppl just don’t care enough to let brides know. Even my “bff” had to get a reminder. Congrats, ur normal. 

Post # 5
1107 posts
Bumble bee

We had a very low response rate, too. I hated it, because it made me feel like the RSVP cards were a waste of my time. We had to send lots of Facebook messages, etc. asking people if they were coming. “Oh yeah! Sorry, I totally forgot about the deadline!” Imagine that! So ruuude.

Post # 6
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

We only had a couple RSVPs close to our deadline.  The rest were all people who had forgotten to RSVP or who had misplaced the invite and had to be reminded.

Post # 7
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

If you’re in the US, having rsvps due over a holiday wknd probably makes more of them late Or forgotten. A lot of ppl are last minute with rsvps and right before a holiday wknd, ppl tend to be trying to wrap up work or preparing for long wknd plans. 

and a lot of ppl mail them on the day theyre due (if you’re doing rsvps by mail), so I’d expect ppl might not mail them til tues or wed, so you’d get sttagglers by next Saturday. Hard to take so many things into account, but it’s what guests are dealing with. Hopefully, it won’t be too hard to track rsvps down

It doesnt help you, but might help other bees avoid this- it seems best to set RSVP deadline on whatever non-holiday wknd is at least 1-2 weeks before you want to assign tables or need to give venue numbers (plus 3 extra mail days if by mail). That way you have whatever time you need to track ppl down built in. 

Post # 8
1367 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

My deadline was nearly 2 weeks ago, still waiting for 5 stragglers.  I was going to write them all off and say they aren’t coming and then BOOM! one RSVP’d very casually out of nowhere yesterday.

Post # 9
29 posts
  • Wedding: June 2013

We only got a small number of actual RSVP cards back. DH’s family was the biggest problem. I ended up just having my MIL talk to everyone and she let me know who was coming. Tons of them planned on coming. I guess they just thought I could read their minds? We ended up with 85 RVSPs, and we only had 2 no shows. But we had a few show up that I didn’t realize were. So it worked out. But we had a buffet style reception with no assigned seats or tables, so it wasn’t the end of the world if our numbers weren’t perfect. I consider that a sucess! And that was with a destination wedding where people had to drive between 2-5 hours on average. Some peopel had to travel even farther. It worked for us to just take verbal RSVPs.

Post # 10
3199 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@gingerkid:  don’t worry. our deadline is tomorrow (8/31) and we have about 85 out of 190 outstanding. i’ve started chatting with people this week to try and flesh some of them out, so if there are some that are close friends or family that you’re particularly close to, just text them and be like remember the deadline is tomorrow, you hillbilly! i’ve gotten about 10 this week with that method. i don’t care if i’m obnoxious – this is NEED TO KNOW information! 😉

Post # 11
600 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

This frustrates the hell out of me. I am the person who recieves an invitation and promptly (usually within a day) responds. Why is this so hard?!  I’m shocked at the amount of close family who I know will be coming who feel that they dont need to RSVP.  We are still a month from our RSVP deadline and we have had 12% of our invitations recieve responses. I don’t know if this is a good or bad response rate but I am really wishing that it picks up so I dont have to call everyone. 

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