Post # 1
We’re running into an issue with our RSVPs… our reception venue can fit 300 (including wait staff/kitchen staff, DJ, photographer, etc.) and we invited about 330-350. We are getting FAR more RSVPs back that are “yes” rather than “no” … something I didn’t expect for a January wedding! (I’m getting nervous… do the “no” RSVPs usually come later?) Anyway, we have several people who have added their not-invited kids to the RSVP card. For my side of the family, we have been making calls and saying “sorry, but we don’t have space” … however, my fiance absolutely refuses to do this for his side of the family– he thinks it’s really rude and that it won’t matter that much if we’re over 300 people (there is a strict fire code and an on-duty police officer… plus the hall sets up the tables and will know how many we’re setting up for!) It’s become a point of contention for us… has been causing some arguments. Any advice on how to get around it?
Post # 3
If the venue doesnt allow the capacity there is nothing your FI can do. Someone is going to have to say “sorry you cant add people”. Unless he is ok with risking the whole thing getting shut done by police.
Btw, its not rude for you to tell them they cant bring univited people, it is rude of them to even think they can.
Post # 4
When is your RSVP date? I would say that you guys shouldn’t fuss or fight over it until your RSVP date has passed. You will then have a better idea of whether or not it will be an issue. There isn’t any point in worrying over something you can’t control just yet! If your final headcount comes in too high – take the number to the venue, see what they say (and make sure that your FI is in the room listening to their feedback as well). If they say nay…I can hardly see how his reluctance to tell invited guests that you can’t accommodate their entire family (who, hey! by the way…WEREN’T invited) will be a valid argument anymore!
PS: The guests are rude for adding additional guests. It’s not rude to tell them you can’t accommodate additional guests per policy of your venue. I’m with you on this one!
Post # 5
@MASPA: +1. I was thinking pretty much along the exact same lines.
I just can’t believe people would add guests who were not invited. It would be a coldday in hell before I would ever think about doing that!
Post # 6
@MASPA: I totally agree… I think it’s rude for them to invite their kids, too. But I’m a “city girl” and he’s from out in the country, where everyone brings other people and nothing is ever a big deal I guess… just a different way of life. In my opinion, it’s not an excuse 🙂 But I guess it’s how people out there do it.
Post # 7
@MsMindle: That’s kind of where I’m at with the whole thing… our RSVP date is January 5th, and after that, I think I’m really going to have to put my foot down and have him make some awkward phone calls.
Post # 8
Wr JUST had this discussion only ours was because everyone thinks they get a plus 1….. I only figured those with spouses or serious boyfriends at the time we did the guest list to bring a plus 1. At Christmas his cousin asked about bringing her very new bf. I said of course cause she asked in front of everyone including him. But then I remembered he has 2 kids. So I text her yesterday saying he is welcome but his kids unfortunately cannot. She replied that if its his weekend then he wont be able to come. That stinks. Theres like 10 more people now for us because of people assuming they get plus 1 and all…. Grrrrrrr its so frustrating. We HAVE to stick to 150 and so far 173 are invited and I dont know of many who cant make it only like 10 maybe. So we r stuck……
Post # 9
One of the venues I looked at had a max of 175 and the catering salesperson asked me how many people we were inviting. When we told her over 200 but only expected about 150 she wouldn’t let me sign with them just in case.
If you can call your side of the family I don’t understand why his is excluded. I also don’t know how you would get around this….