Post # 1
I am writing about my brother’s wife who is a bridesmaid in my wedding, as I was in hers. Let me preface by saying her wedding was WAY expensive to be in and that she paid for 6 other bridesmaids hair to be done but “forgot” about me. I have always been nice and she has no idea I feel this way. A few weeks ago she had said that she didn’t think her and my brother would be able to stay over night because their budget was tight, in the same breath telling me about $500 lighting she needed to pick out for the new house they are having built. Ok, no big deal, if they drive home afterwards — 2 less breakfast’s to pay for the net day:)
THE MAIN STORY: I have arranged to have all the bridesmaids make-up done for free done by my maid of honor who went to make-up school for a year. She is very good and will be doing mine as well. She will be doing this the day of the wedding from 12-1pm. I will also be having lunch sent to the room they will be in. I sent a lovely make-up, day of wedding info. letter to everyone yesterday. My brother’s wife replied by saying said they won’t be able to come until later(2pm), but that she is going to a department store make-up counter to have her make-up done. What?? Why would she not come to what I have planned? And it is FREE! If you are tight for $, it won’t cost you anything — going to a make-up counter will cost you because you have to buy make-up. AM I wrong to be annoyed?!? And why make a point of saying you will be there for 2pm? At 2pm all the make-up stuff will be over and you will be sititng around for pictures to start at 3pm.
As a good bridesmaid, I feel you should show up to anything planned with a smile on your face and don’t complain. I did everything she wanted for her wedding and never complained(at least not to her face.) I don’t even want to email her back and say, “Oh that’s ok, don’t worry about it.” BECAUSE it is not ok.
Post # 3
It’s annoying but don’t let it get to you. It may be better that she’s not there so you can really bond with your girls.
Post # 4
Yeah I said “What??” too when I read that she wants to get her face done at a store. In my experience, store make-overs are hardly professional-looking and often turn out bad.
Did she tell you the reason she can’t make it by noon? I would expect her to keep that entire day free, knowing that she’s your bridesmaid. See if you can find out her reason.
IMO, a bridesmaid has every right to get her hair and makeup done wherever she wants, especially if she’d rather go to a stylist she’s familiar with and trusts. So although it does seem pretty ridiculous that she would turn down free hair and makeup, that is her decision to make.
Post # 5
@jenbrandner –Yes, I agree with you saying that a bridesmaid can go wherever she would like to go. She certainly does not have to get her make-up done with the other bridesmaids;however, I am having an informal “bridesmaids” luncheon at the same time. Couldn’t she say she will have it done elsewhere and show up just for lunch and to socialize? To clarify — I am not having their hair done with make-up, I am not paying for them to have it done, they are free to wear it however they would like and to do it themselves. I would never suggest they should go to a salon if I were not paying for it. 🙂
Post # 6
I think she is trying to distance herself (for whatever reason), and I’d let it go. It’s not worth analyzing or worrying about. You were gracious and extended a lovely invitation, and she declined. I’m sure the luncheon and time together with your bridesmaids will be lots of fun and you will not even miss your SIL.
Post # 7
Yeah, I don’t think you’re wrong for being upset. However, she has chosen and ultimately, you have to let it go. I would definitely be annoyed. I wouldn’t reply back saying you understand or that it’s okay, just be absolutely clear when she needs to arrive and if she’s someone who is generally late, then I would put in a 30 minute buffer window before you really need her to be there.