Post # 1
I grew up in an “I cook, you clean” environment. I never go to someone’s house, eat and then just leave without offering to help clean up or anything. That being said, I made dinner last night and had some friends over to eat. I made a lot of food and was happy to share it. It was four of my friends, me and SO, so six people total. As soon as we ate, two of them just left. The other two went into the living room and put on a DVD to watch while I cleaned up.
I don’t know if it’s me being sensitive, but I found this kind of rude. I was in the kitchen cleaning up all their dishes plus all the dishes from the serving bowls and putting left overs away. Not one of them even offered to help. Honestly, I probably would have told them it wasn’t necessary and I didn’t mind, but the fact that they didn’t offer kind of made me feel taken advantage of.
I spent a good 4 hours cooking a meal and they came over and scarf it down and leave? I didn’t even get any of the corn bread I made because by the time I sat down to eat after they had served themselves there was none left. I made 16 muffins, there were 6 of us. They could have just left me one. Sorry. I’m irritated. Am I being too sensitive? Is this normal? Or do you think it’s a little rude too?
ETA: This was not a dinner party. These were friends that are over at my house all the time. I’d made a pot roast and invited them over because I knew SO and I wouldn’t be able to eat it all.
Post # 3
@NotablySidedJP: Who takes 3 muffins before the host even sits down? You have some rude-ass friends!
Post # 4
@NotablySidedJP: I always offer to help clean but I am always turned down by the host and as the host I always turn down offers to help clean as well. I think it is certainly polite to offer to help but I don’t think people necessarily go to a hosted event and expect to help clean up.
ETA: the muffin thing was a bit rude.
Post # 5
I don’t expect people to clean up after a full-on dinner party, since they are my guests so they shouldn’t have to do any work, but I certainly appreciate if they OFFER or at least gather the plates and carry them into the kitchen. Taking all the cornbread though? that’s terrible. I’ve killed a man for less.
Post # 6
- Wedding: September 2013 - B&B
Um yeah I am pretty good about making sure I don’t take a lot of food before I KNOW everyone at the table has had a fair shot at it! Wow!
I would usually offer to help, as well. The two who had to leave, the might have had another thing that they really needed to go do so I wouldn’t hold that against them… I would hope that if I was invited somewhere and had to leave right after that my host would be ok with it, since we’re friends and we would have mostly been there to enjoy each other’s company. And of course, I would be understanding if the situation was reversed.
I would be slightly more annoyed by no offer to help and they crashed in your living room to start a DVD without you… that is kind of, ouch.
Post # 7
- Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas
It’s rude, but a lot of times when you go to someone’s house for dinner they won’t allow you to help clean up. While I would always make it a point to try, I guess these people don’t think like that. How the heck did the corn bread go so fast?! Must have been delicious.
Post # 8
@NotablySidedJP: I’m with you. They should have at least offered!
Post # 9
@MrsBeck: It wasn’t a dinner party or anything. It was very informal. These people are over at my house pretty much every weekend. I just happened to make a nice dinner last night. I think thats the problem. They are too comfortable there. I told one of them to bring beer since we’d have plenty of food. He brought one 22oz beer for himself. Not a six pack or anything. He also ate half the pan of brownies I made. Litterally half the pan. Oh well. It’s just discouraging. Makes me not want to invite them over for food anymore. I know they don’t mean to be rude, I just don’t like it.
Post # 10
@NotablySidedJP: I don’t expect people to help clean up after an event I’m hosting, but my friends and family always offer. My sister will just start cleaning up without asking or being asked because that’s just how she is. I would find it very rude that people came over, ate, and left though. I would also find it rude if people were disgusting gluttons.
Personally, I always feel that dishes can wait. If I’m hosting, I will clear the table and do the basic, but I can clean up fully when people leave. I actually think it’s rude to ignore your guests and start doing dishes. I’ve never had a dish that couldn’t wait but I do enjoy spending time with the people I have invited into my home.
Post # 11
They should have at least offered, but perhaps they just aren’t used to that. It seems like those types of manners really come from how you were raised. Maybe some of them come from families where typically the host does everything and people don’t help, so that’s just what they’re used to. And the others just sort of went along with the crowd and it slipped their mind to offer? That’s the best excuse I can come up with.
Post # 12
@NotablySidedJP: Just saw your update…sounds to me like you are being taken advantage of. I sure wouldn’t be giving people food every single weekend.
Post # 13
@NotablySidedJP: then I do agree with you. We have three friends who eat over fairly often and they help clean every time (sometimes they even clean before I get back into the kitchen!). So in this case I do think it’s rude and it does sound like you are being used. I would probably not be cooking for them again anytime soon!
Post # 14
@NotablySidedJP: I don’t expect guests to clean after a dinner party. Ever. But it’s certainly rude to eat like it’s your last meal and not leave a serving for the hostess.
Post # 15
I would have been annoyed too! That was definitely rude behavior!
Post # 16
If I am hosting, I would never expect my guests to clean up. They are guests! It is my responsibility as a host to cook and clean. But the muffin thing was kinda rude.