Post # 1
As some of you may have read I am throwing my Darling Husband a big 30th birthday party this Saturday. The theme is Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and we are going all out with food and decor. At the moment we have between 25-30 people coming and my Mother-In-Law has been kind enough to host it at her place meaning thank goodness there is a large yard!
I recieved a text from a friend today asking if she could bring her young son (2 years old). Then before I could respond she asked if she could bring her brother in law and his girlfriend.
Our party is not kid friendly as there will be only adults (and yes lots of beer/liquor). Also we are quite limited on space as it is so two more people is a bit of a difficulty not to mention the additional food and alcohol costs. She said they would “contribute” to the food and snacks but I know them well enough to know that isn’t going to happen.
I’m kind of at a loss for words so I thought I would ask you smart bees on how to respond and what your thoughts are regarding this situation. Is it really no big deal? Would you allow her kid? Her BIL and his girlfriend (neither of which we have EVER met)?
Ugh I hate being put into this position.
Post # 3
Reply– “I’m sorry– it is not going to be a kid friendly event and we are trying to keep it to our closest friends and family because of space limitations. I totally get if that means that you cannot make it, but I hope to see you on Saturday!”
Post # 4
@Pollywog: +1 this is perfect
Post # 5
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
“we are quite limited on space as it is so two more people is a bit of a difficulty”
You answered your own question– this is exactly what I would reply with:
we are quite limited on space as it is, so two more people would really be a difficulty.
As for the kid; it depends on WHY she’s asking to bring him, is it because she can’t find/afford a sitter? If so, it depends on how much you want her there– for some people kids are just part of the package.
If she tries to argue just tell her the decision was your MIL’s since it’s her house, and you’re really not comfortable stretching the limits.
Post # 6
Not really rude, at least she asked, but I think pollywogs response is perfect.
Post # 7
I would leave out the “kid friendly” line. I have seen that line used and end horribly. I would just stick to something wedding etiquette like and say “sorry, it is an adults only birthday celebration. i hope you understand!”
Post # 8
I would just say it is an adult party. She might not get that impression with the theme and leave it at that.
I am so confused as to why she would bring her family members? Maybe they could stay home with her son:)
Post # 9
Just say no. Explain that there will be liquor there and you aren’t inviting children.
Maybe she thought it was child friendly because of the theme? People are so rude.
Post # 10
@Pollywog: Perfect response!
Post # 11
I agree with Pollywog. Or, if you don’t think your Mother-In-Law would mind, you could always say that you feel like you’re already imposing by using their house/yard, so you don’t think you should invite any more guests.
Post # 12
@julietteeliza: She just texted and said she had a sitter but would prefer to bring him. So I guess I don’t have to worry about that issue.
I agree with you on the whole kid thing I guess. In my mind though inviting someone strange to a friend’s birthday party is a bit obnoxious. I mean it would never occur to me to bring my cousin and her husband to a friend’s birthday (or something of this nature). I don’t know maybe it’s just me.
Post # 14
That’s really weird to ask to bring strangers to a friend’s birthday party.
I don’t have any advice I just hope you post pictures! It sounds like this party is going to be a blast!
Post # 15
@Pollywog: Guess you get the prize! 🙂
@ieatunicorns: I’m not sure why she would bring them either. I have no idea who they are nor have I met them. She does a lot of things that I question though so really I am not too surprised. Her Darling Husband wore jeans to our formal wedding (even though she was there at the bachelorette party where we discussed the dress in detail) and she ended up bringing her son last minute without advising us (we made room for him of course).
Post # 16
Absolutely rude. Her kid and random family members were not on the invitation, which means that they’re not invited. I guess it’s nice that she asked before just bringing these people along anyway but common sense would indicate that the only those invited are welcome. If she can’t get a sitter and/or is entertaining her family that night, she’s more than welcome to decline the invite.
And I agree with Pollywogs suggested reply.