Rude or not: Invitation wording – will fiance's parents be hurt?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: How should I place parents' names on invites???
    Leave it as is (bride's parents up top, groom's at very bottom) : (87 votes)
    74 %
    Change it to option no. 2 (bride's parents up top immediately followed by groom's) : (30 votes)
    26 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    513 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    I think flow wise the first option sounds better. If you’re worried about offending groom’s parents, you could go with something like: Bride and Groom, together with their parents, request the honour of presence… but if you’re going pretty traditional you might want their names on the invitation.

    Post # 4
    Member
    837 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    The first wording you listed is what we did, and what all of the invitations I have received have said (except when none of the parents were listed). I think if is super common to put the bride’s name first, and then the groom. I doubt his parents will think it’s weird at all!

    Post # 5
    Member
    842 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @riakd:  I honestly don’t see why just because one family can’t contribute as much financially, they should be disregarded on the invite. The wedding is for BOTH families and BOTH families receive the invite. We included both family names on the invite, regardless of financial input. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    837 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @TattedNYBride:  What she listed has both sets of parents on it. I agree, all parents should be on the invitation regardless of financial contribution.

    Post # 7
    Member
    842 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @riakd:  PS, our invite had the following wording “The Mitchell, Parker, and Dennison families invite you to witness and to celebrate the marriage of BRIDE and GROOM…”

     

    Post # 8
    Member
    917 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    The first wording is what I always assumed was standard. In my case FI’s mom is paying for the whole reception, so we’re using your second option. Either one works. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    545 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    It sounds like you’re leaning towards the first one. Why not ask FI’s parents? Send it to them and say the invite people recommended we go with this because it’s very traditional, but I’d love to get your feedback. Don’t mention what they think of the order of the names. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    667 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    The first is traditional. Leave it as that

    Post # 12
    Member
    2523 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

    @riakd:  I like the first one, but either way, please change the word “marriage” to “wedding”. You’re not inviting people to be there for your entire marriage, are you? If so, things could get awkward in the bedroom… Embarassed Lol.

    I know it is popular to say “marriage”, but it isn’t actually correct for the event to which you are inviting them.

    Post # 13
    Member
    2073 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    every invite I’ve ever gotten has either listed both sets of parents (as in your second option), none of the parents, or said Bride/Groom together with their parents..

     

    I don’t think it’s right to shaft the other parents just because they didn’t contribute as much.  They still contributed,they’re still the parents

    Post # 14
    Member
    546 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    I never heard of this tradition..I saw invites that either list parents from both sides or no parents at all, only bride and groom…To me, regardless of who is paying for the wedding, listing only one set of parents sounds rude…(don’t want to offend anybody, who followed this tradition)…

    p.s. We are listing both sides..

    Post # 15
    Member
    141 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I don’t think it boils down to who is contributing the most. You FI’s parents are still contributing something and they are a big part of the wedding regardless. I think including both families in the first part is the best option.

    Post # 16
    Member
    1939 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I’ve never received an invitation where there was more than one set of parents listed. I think your first option sounds fine! If you’re worried about insulting them, you could always ask/have your FI ask.

    Leave a comment


    Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

    Find Amazing Vendors