Post # 1
I had surgery this week, so my mom came to stay with me and help out. She brought her mother in law (my step grandmother) so she would have company on the 8 hour drive. While I was recovering, we were discussing cake toppers and I showed her the Ann Wood birds, which I love love love. She was fine with them, but her MIL looked at them and said "Those are hideous. If you got those I would certainly not buy you a dome to display them in your hutch."
This is particularly funny because I don’t intend on having a wedding hutch to display all that stuff- our wedding theme doesn’t go with the decor of our home at all! I would never even want such a gift. I was so taken aback by the comment that I just stared at her with my mouth open for a second and then resumed my conversation with my mother.
What would you have done? Said? Has anyone else got a negative, rude person making snide comments about their wedding?
Post # 3
When my Aunt saw our cake topper at our wedding reception (it was by builderstudio on etsy- he’s great) she stood there and gawked at it. I couldn’t help but notice.
When my parents brought our wedding album over to show the family she looked at me and was like… Why would you choose a cake topper like that? She said it with the most disgusted look on her face. This is a woman whose children had VERY traditional catholic white weddings. I just looked at her and said, "This is my husband’s taste, and I thought it was pretty unique and I actually really liked it. It’s something you’ll probably never see again at a wedding."
Ignore her. You love them, what else matters? I got so stressed out about people being rude (not RSVPing because we didn’t allow children… then calling my parents to RSVP the day before while I was finishing my final exams for my degree…. when I got home to put together the rest of our flowers I had to re-do my seating chart)
Post # 4
Amandopolis, I have to admit, your story made me laugh! Wedding domes are incredibly old-fashioned and I don’t know a single bride who’s made one. (This is not a knock on anyone who did — I could see it being really lovely and sentimental. I just don’t think it’s a widespread tradition anymore.) So the idea that your step-grandmother thought that you’d be crushed at the thought of not receiving a dome is pretty funny! It’s sort of like saying "well, if you do THAT, I’m certainly not going to buy you a horse and buggy!" "Uh, grandma, they have these things called "cars" now …"
I think you handled it just fine. There’s really nothing to say in response to a comment like that, and I think the best thing to do is shake it off and move on. Reacting to it or trying to debate with someone who’s being negative makes them think that you care about their opinion.
Post # 5
Wow. She sounds like my grandmother. My parents call her crazy, but she’s just mean-spirited. Just throw her opinion in the same basket as if your ex-boyfriend said it. It goes on the list of "Yeah, I don’t care that you don’t like it."
Post # 6
OK, that’s both hurtful and hilarious. It sounds like you handled it in just the right way.
I’m learning to share very little about the wedding details with other people, if I can help it. Somebody always has something critical to say…
Post # 7
I, too, love the Ann Wood cake topper and have had similar, though not quite as down-right rude, reponses. You did the right thing by not reacting to her comment (though after surgery, you can always blame the meds!). Get those adorable birds anyway. You can buy your own dome (haha).
Post # 8
maureen- was it one of the robot ones?!?! my fiance and i LOVE them, but unfortunately they don’t go with our theme at all. i would LOVE to hear what people would have to say if we had those on our cake.
Post # 9
Just keep in mind they are older ladies and what was cool and in style then is definitely not today. Just smile and blow it off.
I had my ex mother in law (years ago when i was engaged to my xh) tell me I was out of my mind to want to have black bridesmaid dresses. She said it was the tackiest thing she’d ever heard of and that it was BAD LUCK. I took her advice (even though I didn’t like it) and got yellow dresses for them. They were cute, but I had wanted the black sundresses really.
Flash forward to now… My bridesmaids WILL be wearing gorgeous LITTLE BLACK DRESSES when we marry later this year! I’m still friends with my xmil, and she will be getting an invite to my wedding this year. She gets no vote. MY vote is what counts! My future mother in law, Mrs. F said "Well I should hope you choose a dress that the girls would like to wear again…doing otherwise is a waste of their money!" (gosh I love Mrs. F, future MIL 🙂 )