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Has anyone gotten this sort of remark - "You dont really need THAT $60 sake glass pitcher, right? Because there are cheaper ones!" I responded " Doesnt have to be that one, but that's the only one in the style that I like that I found; therefore, I put it on there. I want the same size, for cold sake and glass. Items are there for guest to choose from & guests will buy what they want to." Seriously, was that necessary.
Mind you - I recently posted about including registry items from 10-$150.
Seriously, if a guest had a problem with the price of an item - there are seriusly 90 more items for you to choose from.
Is this the norm from guests? Should I mentally prepare myself for this continued remark?
Mind you this is the same person who about an hour after blabbed on and on about the expensive details she had planned for an upcoming wedding.
Yep I had this b/c i registered at Wiliams-Sonoma. I simply said, "Well, i'm big on my kitchen stuff and I can tell the quality"
I registered for cheap stuff there, like $20 appliances. Not even pots and pans!
OMG that's so rude! I would have responded the same way too---although I really would have loved to say, "Then buy something else if you want!" Jeez. I once had a friend who complained (she lived in western Kansas where there isn't much in terms of shopping other than Wal-mart and JCPenny or Dillard's) about her cousin's wedding she was going to. The cousin lived in a big city and registered at Bed, Bath & Beyond for some sheets she wanted. This friend of mine said it was rude she didn't register at Wal-mart so people who didn't live near the store could actually buy her something. Um, hello, really?! Heard of online shopping? Heard of a card with mulla?! RUDE.
I never imagined guests would do that. My FI and I haven't registered yet, but I don't want this to happen to me. If someone thinks something is too expensive, don't buy it. Why make a comment? Sorry you have to go through that.
Funny thing is we have a Target registry with cheaper items and then an Amazon registry with nicer decor items - we have everything basic & want to upgrade on somethings - but seriously, I had to have a drink after that comment.
It's been gently suggested from a couple different people to remove the KitchenAid Stand Mixer from our registry because of cost, but so far thats the only rude comment(s) we've received.
I said that it's our registry, it is something we want and just because something is expensive doesn't mean a group can't go in on the purchase of it making it a cheap gift for everyone! My cousin had the same thing happen to her, but she left it on there and someone was nice enough to buy it!
It's your wedding - if you can't put what you really want on your wedding registry, then when else can you?!
I can't imagine why someone would make such a rude remark! She can still just buy you whatever she wants to, she doesn't have to criticize what you chose. It's not a demand or a shopping list.
I got some towels that were not on my registry. I think the quality is poor, but at least my uncle looked at the colors I registerd for. He didn't say to me that the registry towels were too expensive, he just bought something else in a similar color. (FWIW, I registered for mid-range Macy's towels, not that much, but still, cheaper are available.)
Another comment I got was kind of nice to hear, a coworker said, "My husband thinks Crate & Barrel is too expensive, but I really like that store."
It's a gift registry! You aren't supposed to be practical! You are supposed to register for things you wouldn't splurge on yourself! Just ignore the comment!
That's so rude. I don't even understand why someone would feel the need to comment on that! It's your registry, you can put whatever you want on it.
I haven't recieved a comment...but I think it's only a matter of time. I think that I have a nice range of items on our registries - but our Crate and Barrel registry cracks me up. The 99 cent pan scraper that I registred for is listed right above our $1,500 couch! Now do I anticipate anyone buying us the couch? Absolutely not! But since we ran out of small items that we wanted, we thought adding a bigger ticket item that people could purchase gift cards towards would be a great idea.
And once you tell everyone you get 10% off anything left on your registry post wedding...they understand the couch a lot more. :)
I had a set of $400 calphalon pots and pans, with a bunch of other calphalon addition s (griddles, grill basket, etc) and a Kitchen-Aid mixer, etc. My neightbors growing up (about 8 fmailies) each chipped in and they bough us the pot and pan set and the other parts that went with it and it cost them just about what they'd have spent on their own anyways. Dont let anyones opinions sway you or make you second guess...its YOUR registry, and just because you're asking for a high ticket item doesnt mean you EXPECT them to get it. Ugh people are so rude...and also keep in mind, people dont know that you get percentages off (10% at Macys etc) after the wedding for anything remaining unpurchased off the registry. LEt it slide, people have no manners.
I haven't recieved any comments about the price of things, but knowing some of our guests, I'm sure they think that some of the things are expensive. I look at it this way: We are in our 30's. The stuff we get now, we want quality stuff that will last. 2nd, our registry is more of a suggestion. You see we need a blender, a toaster and towels. You can also see what colors we have registered for. So if you want to buy something similar that's not on the registry, fine. At least you have an idea of what we want/need.
We did get comments from our aunts and SIL that we should register for more stuff and more expensive stuff-like the Kitchen Aid mixer. Because either a group will buy or we can get it at a discount later. But we didn't register for something just to register. We registered for stuff we actually need and will use.
Just smile and say "We registered for gifts in all price ranges. We understand not everyone has the same budget."
haha, too funny! We registered for lots of cheap stuff, but also a few pricey items! don't these people KNOW that you get a discount on post-registry goodies?! C'mon now, 20% off a $300 mixer that you REALLY REALLY want is $60 off.
If you don't like what's on my registry dont' buy me something! Pshaw.
You could always say, "well, i have fine taste, sorry" haha. Sorry, I LIKE nice kitchen gear. Then I'm not cmplaining about that piece of crap pan and replacing it in 2 years =]....much like my Walmart nonstick pan that has seen its day
Ha! We almost have the opposite problem! We registered for a lot of little/cheaper things because those were the type of things we really needed and we wanted our friends to get -- but my MIL insisted we register for more expensive items -- a few of my FI's parent's friends are coming and they are pretty well off -- so here we go $300 stand-mixer (which we do not even have space for!!!!), fine china (ditto!) and $200 suitcases!
Oh yeah - I've apparently lost a good friend over the fact that my registry was full of 'unnecessary' items - that weren't all made in America.
I'm still not entirely sure why - I don't require a gift at all.
As a matter of fact, if everyone sent me a card and a hug, that would make my day.
After all, at 29, I've got tons of stuff I need already!
My FI and I are both looking forward to registering for our gift list - and looking to replace lots of our old stuff, our china and glassware are definitely past their best!
I agree with what other people are saying - you have to make sure you have a range of items on your list. I know there will be some people who want to get us the kitchen aid mixer - like my aunt and uncle (they got my brother and SIL theirs when they got married), and then there will be others who will get us a couple of plates. I also know there will be family friends who will club together to get us something bigger off it too.
I can't believe people made comments about it to you - that is rude! they can always just get a gift card, surely if they can't see anything to get. I'm not sure if we will be eligible for 10% off items unpurchased on our list as we're in the Uk, but that would be great if it was. Love the idea of the couch being on there :)
I don't get this! Isn't the point of a registry to let guests know what you would like so they don't buy you the fourth toaster you've received? Eek, its a suggestion, not a demand. I would probably make some snarky comment in return. Its only rude if your registry doesn't include any reasonably priced items and you harrass them to only get things from the registry! Where do these people get off?
My FI and I sorta thumbed our noses at the people that act like this. Our registry is WAY over the top. WAY WAY WAY - and it was on purpose. We had my children help and made it more of a family registry. There's a Wii on it and FI has a some expensive tools, there's a freezer.. lol
We put a "disclaimer" on there. In the little notes section, we put that this was our "Lottery List" Everything we would buy if we won the lottery. Take that rude people! Ha. I mean seriously - our favorite present will be their presence. 
Thanks ladies - I really had found anyone who could give me advise on this so I feel alot better - although I wish I would have told her something in a less appropriate manner - but I stuck to my guns & figured its her problem she's rude.
I think most people don't realize that you get a completion discount at the end, so that it pays to register for some expensive items you want, not even expecting anyone to buy it. I don't know if I'd mention that or what. But yes, someone saying that would upset me.
I had a friend ask me where I was registered, and when I told her, she reponded, "Oh, yeah, I saw those, but I didn't like anything on them, so I guess I'll go somewhere else." I was shocked, and couldn't think of a response, so I just said, "Okay."
I'm not sure why people feel the need to comment on registries. If it's what the couple wants, it's what the couple wants, you know. Otherwise, cash is universally accepted and appreciated :)
We've gotten a comment or two about it as well. But serioulsy, there are over 100 other things on the list with price ranges from .99 cents-$500. We are not demanding gifts from anyone, but I guess some people can't keep things to themselves sometimes :)
There's always going to be a complainer in every bunch. You just gotta roll with the punches and don't take it personally.
That is undeniably rude! No matter what a guest thinks about your registry, they do not have the right to be rude! Man, there is no binding law requiring them to purchase the $60 glasses! You think it is too much, move on! I was always told registries were to help the guests get you something that you really wanted. If that's true than the guests need to understand that as well!
On a lighter note - FH called me around 10am the other morning ( he never calls me during the workday unless its something big or asap attention needed) and I was like - yeah? He informed me that one of his fellow partners at his law firm mentioned to him that we need more expensive gifts on the registry - $150-$250, that the firm partners would get those gifts for us, etc. FH, I guess realized how thrown off I was by the comment about the $60 sake bottle & felt the need to tell me not to worry about the registry - in fact, the add more expensive things.
So, yup, I added Waterford glasses ( FH already has 5 since he's encore and I wanted to complete the set of 8) and added some other expensive stuff I would never dream of being able to buy in the next couple of years! So I am really excited that the rude comment got thrown off by one that might be consider rude by some - but I actually appreciated considering the past remark. Just an update.
I still have tons of less than $50 items on there and they are staying there - we just added a few high price items in case guess are able & want to splurge!
Hmm.
And another thought - I'm not really big on registries in the first place, BUT... adding items to my registry means I can order them at a discount later if I don't get them.
So.
Right there that's a bonus, eh?
Ya some people are amazing.....if they don't want to buy some 'extravagant' $60.00 item (which to me, is not really all that expensive) but the firggin mixing bowls or something. Besides, when we registered, we were told to register for some items that are not practical, but that would give the guests a sense of your aesthetic so that, should they decide to go 'off registry', they would understand your style.
I think its rude for guests to make comments to the bride and groom but my FI and I have groaned about a recent registry. I was told to have things from $10 to $500, but this couple had only 3 things under $50. We were very insulted that they did not remember that they had younger cousins still in college or new to the real world.
I think brides and grooms sometimes need to choose things that specific people might by (like your 23 year old cousin in grad school or your FI's law partners).
I totally agree w/ Gator. I have several younger sisters/cousins and several family members going through tough financial times, I wouldnt expect them to buy me something over $50 - no way. However, many of them know FH works at a firm and he's been there for many years. I, too, am a grad student and work and totally understand where you are coming from. I just thought the comment was totally out of line & if I go to a wedding where I cant afford something on their registry then perhaps I would buy off the registry ( although I dont favor that, and prefer to buy off the registry) I made sure to put many many items under $50 - I even put several $10-$16 candles, I know I wouldnt buy on my own but would love for our house for people to buy and I would totally appreciate & love!
Sheesh, that is stinky! If they don't want to buy a particular item, just don't buy it! Guests aren't assigned specific items to buy for you...there are options! I'm sorry you got a nasty comment...he/she really should have kept it to themselves.
I can't believe someone had the audacity to actually SAY something to you about your registry. Just... WOW!
Thats so rude! She was basically calling you greedy! I would just say "Don't feel obligated to buy anything then..." Oh! These snarky comments really grind my gears :P
I think that a lot of people don't know about the discount you get after the wedding. When I was in college and a lot of my cousins were getting married, I looked at their registries and was like: OMG no one is going to buy you a $500 copper pan from WS are you nuts? (not said TO them obviously, but that was my reaction). Then I found out about the discount and my attitude as been: register away!
I also agree that if someone doesn't want to get you something on the registry they can always do a gc or cash. One of my cousins registered at WS and the cheapest item on her registry was a $50 thermometor. I could only afford to give $50 and I felt like a cheapo giving her a thermometor, so I just bought a $50 gift card and figured that she could do with it what she liked. :)
Well it's good for you that you'll be able to add more higher priced items. It would be great to see that rude-comment-person's reaction to even more expensive stuff on the registry!
@Lish - Totally agree with the hug/card idea. If I don't get one gift, my FH and I will still be getting married and we still want our friends and family there to witness it! If you don't like my choices, don't get me anything, but please come to our wedding. That's all we want. For real!
@Ms. Guava-Tini - at least it's not your FMIL telling you EVERYTHING on your registry makes us look pretentious. Thanks for the support FMIL!
You can check out the aftermath of that story over here: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/my-first-experience-as-a-fdil-longish
But don't get me wrong, I'm just as guilty as judging other people's choices on registry. But I shut my trap and I buy them a gift card if I can't find anything that fits my budget!
I did say something to my friend (not about the price on her registry item, but the odd number she registered for) and she actually thanked me later because she said that when you're registering, you start to get confused because of the sheer volume of choices you make! She fixed it and she was so happy when she got a full set of beautiful wine glasses! I now totally know what she means about getting all those items confused. I think we still have two cheese graters on our list. Oops.
I had no idea about the discount deal until recently reading Wedding Bee. My FSIL got married recently, and though not engaged to her brother yet, I really wanted to give them something special for the bridal shower and wedding. Not because price of gift equals how much you like the couple, but because, as her FSIL, her brother and I wanted to do something nice for them. I guess I just thought 50-150 dollars would go further. FH is finishing college and I was laid off a few months ago, so I took a lesser paying job, but am very blessed to have one. So when I opened the registry to find most gifts on the pricier end, it made me sad, a bit embarressed, and a bit upset, because we wanted to do something nicer than "standard" and the standard was set pretty high. Not that anyone should make comments about your registry, it's yours and it sounds like you were very thoughtful of getting a range of items your guests could buy. In my case, it made me sad to look at a 120 gravy boat, when she doesn't even cook, and doesn't want to try. Unfortunately, guests tend to bring judgements to the registry, just like the planning of a wedding. Good luck with yours, and may no pesky big mouthed guests ruin your mood!
Totally rude! People that aren't close to weddings and aren't going through the planning themselves are totally oblivious to everything - just makes me laugh so hard. Like a few others have said, discounts!!! We put some items on our Crate & Barrel registry that we did not think people would buy but knew that we would get at 10% discount on them to buy for ourselves after the fact! D'oh people!
No this is not the norm from guests. How obnoxious. Registries are there to help the gift giving clueless...in all price ranges. Funny how people comment on gift costs without considering how much is spent on them for dinner and drinks at the reception.
You're lucky people are even looking at your registry! I have plugged our wedding site since its creation, and subsequent addition of the registry and people have been asking us "hey, what do you want? are you registered anywhere?" and of course, my cute but clueless FI neglects to remember that we are...sigh.
tonight, i told him to respond, "your presence is our gift" haha
If you want a $700 sake dish, go for it girl! As long as you remember that people will buy what they can afford and what they think you will appreciate (who cares about their thermometer)you are great!
Hopefully whoever said this will realize that it was faux pas and will keep their mouth closed next time :)
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