(Closed) Rude response cards?

posted 5 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
Member
2336 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I’m not really sure why this would be considered rude?

I actually sort of wish I had done something like this for *all* my RSVP cards. I had a friend who was *not* given a +1 who wrote her sister (who wasn’t invited) onto her RSVP card with her.

And I had another friend planning on bring her boyfriend’s kid to what was originally supposed to be our child-free wedding… :/

Post # 4
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: August 2013

this isnt rude at all! I dont think they really need to put down who is NOT coming though.

Just their name and the guests they are bringing (like husband or girlfriend or whatever)

Post # 5
Member
9063 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I wouldn’t ask for people who wouldn’t be able to attend (Why would you need their names anyway?) but other than that, seems fine to me.

Post # 7
Member
4513 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I don’t think this is rude at all, but I do think it’s slightly confusing (because, as you say, there is only one space to reply — which is she supposed to check if 2 people can go & 2 people can’t?). I’d do something like this:

The favor of your reply is requested on or before March 15, 2013. We have reserved 4 spaces in your honor. Please indicate your response below with an X in the appropriate area for each guest.

__John Jones___ (  ) accepts with pleasure   (  ) declines with regret

__Jane Jones___ (  ) accepts with pleasure   (  ) declines with regret

__Jimmy Jones_  (  ) accepts with pleasure   (  ) declines with regret

__Joe Jones____  (  ) accepts with pleasure   (  ) declines with regret

 

Post # 8
Member
2902 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Not rude at all. I feel it’s much easier to be direct otherwise there will be misunderstandings. 

Post # 10
Member
11753 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

it seems kind of redundant and confusing to be writing all those names out multiple times. 

Just say X seats have been reserved, ? of X will attend. Then ask to list anems of those attending.

 

Post # 11
Member
271 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Doesn’t seem rude at all to me.

Post # 12
Member
11352 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

The only thing that may be considered rude by some individuals is the very common, but not technically proper, format in which hosts try to tell guests how they feel about attending or declining.

I always thought phrases such as “accepts with pleasure” and “delines with regret” sounded very polite and proper until I was infomed otherwise by etiquette experts, who advised me to use the simple “will attend” and “unable to attend.”  The reason behind this is that there could be some guests who plan to attend to fulfill an obligation and those who are not at all regretful that they are unable to attend.

Post # 13
Member
3825 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@stillme:  but seriously, how do you order customized cards like this? seems like it would take forever to put this together. 

now, i DID change my invites to include “there are (number of seats) reserved in your honor” to tell people ‘yeah, you can bring a guest but not 3’

Post # 14
Member
4513 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@TaurianDoll:  I think the OP said she only had about 10 of these to send out and would be writing in the names by hand…but I agree, normally this would definitely not be the way to do it! 

Not that I am any great expert — we emailed our invitations. 🙂

Post # 16
Member
3825 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@stillme:  smart. very smart. 

I’m not in a reading mood today so I didn’t pick up that detail in the OP’s question. lol Terrible, I know. But I envy those who can take the time to write out names and stuff. Sad we live in a world where people are inconsiderate and look at weddings as a free for all.

I have an aunt who will bring every child under the age of 15 to any event so they can eat dinner like the event is a soup kitchen. THEN she will take home half of the food AND come back the next day looking for leftovers. She also brings friends to our family-only events – people no one has ever seen before. It’s very uncomfortable and awkward. And she’s married and has 2 kids… it’s so weird.

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