- 6 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
I have been seeing a specialist OB/GYN for the last year because my reproductive system is messed up and if I ever want to have kids it will be a long road. Knowing that, my Fiance and I have been NTNP since last October (no pregnancies thus far). We have finally finished all of the procedures, pills, testing etc. to go on to the next step – surgery to have one of my fallopian tubes removed.
Anyway, I get to the specialist today and the lady is talking down to me as if I am a small child (I am 25… young, yes, but well within the acceptable age range to TTC). I explain to this lady that we know we have a long road ahead of us and want to get the ball rolling so we can have children before I am 30. She barely looks at me, goes:
“wellllll let’s see what I have here under ‘social life’. Ahh, I see you are in a relationship?”
“Yes, I am engaged. Our wedding is next summer. We have been together for 3.5 years and have discussed having a child and are ready”
“Hmm. I think you should wait until after the wedding”
“We were told that the surgery would take a while to schedule and even after there are no guarentees a pregnancy would result”
“yes, well I think you should wait until you are married before we even think of scheduling to surgery. So, shall we book an appointment for next September? You will have to get another referral to see me”
“FI and I have been *trying* to have a child for the past year and have been unsuccesful. I am not comfortable putting this on hold”
“Come back to me when you are really ready to try, after the wedding.”
At this point I felt so shamed and embarassed as this woman was basically telling me that it was only appropriate to have children within marriage and was shaming my desire to have children :(. I dont’ care what your personal feelings are!!! That is not appropriate for a doctor to do!
I just feel sad now, and our journey has been put off even more. With a September appointment, Winter 2013/2014 surgery it will be Spring 2014 before we can start trying – and then even there is no guarantee that it will work and we might be looking at another referral to a fertility doctor and even more testing before IVF. I am just so frusterated!!!!
Anyway, I called my GP and I am going in next week to discuss my specialist experience. Hopefully I can be referred to a different one – last time I was referred though it took almost 7 months to get an appointment. Sigh.