Post # 1
My (crazy) SIL called tonight to ask for an annoying favor and then to “remind” us that we cannot have a baby until she gets married. She isn’t even yet engaged.
She seems to think that because she is the older sibling (DH, her brother, is 3 years younger) that she can say things like this. She anticipates being engaged sometime this year. Why why why does my being pregnant (or not) affect her in ANY WAY? For reference, it has nothing to do with her wedding (although she previously said I can’t be pregnant because she already has “too many fat bridesmaids”)…she says it’s because she’s older and thus should be allowed this first.
How do I, somewhat politely, tell her to shove off next time she brings this up?
Post # 3
Ignore her, she’s just being an idiot. DH’s sister is older and wanted to have a baby before us too. BUT, we were ready so we ttc anyway and now we’re pregnant. I don’t get why people feel this way. Like I’m really going to put my life on hold…
Post # 4
Uh… No words. That is nuts.
Post # 5
When you get pregnant, just tell her that the baby didn’t get the memo. 😀
Post # 6
Seriously, where do people get these ideas? I have no polite suggestions. My first thought was a swift punch to the face lol
Post # 7
I just…I would probably stand there with my mouth hanging open with nothing coming out. That is beyond rude and my first (and not pc) response would be to ask her when she joined the Republican party (government so small it fits in your uterus!). She has absolutely no right to demand that of you. My SO’s younger sister has a 3 year old and is due any day now with her second child. We absolutely don’t care and my SO adores his nephew. Perhaps tell her something along the lines of I’m sorry but your inviation didn’t come in hormones so my body didn’t get the message. Nope…nevermind that’s still rude I guess I can’t think of a polite response to something that rude.
Post # 8
are you trying? would you tell her if you were? either way, i would just say, “don’t worry, we’re not trying” even if/when you’re not trying to not be 😉 then if/when you are just tell her you don’t know what happened, but that you’re super excited. i don’t normally advocate lying/bending the truth, but when it comes to the crazies (and i don’t know how rational she is about other topics, but here she’s clearly irrational), i find that way works best. downside being that you then can’t tell anyone on his side that you’re trying.. but i feel like most people don’t share anyway until they’re pregnant.
if she does find out you’re off birth control, just say you want to regulate your cycle for when the time comes, but that you didn’t think you’d get pregnant bc you were counting your days. she might think you’re stupid but better than giving her an eff you, i’m getting pregnant anyway.
Post # 10
I’d just laugh and say, “tell that to mother nature.”
If she keeps on with this, you might have to tell her that there are plenty of siblings who do things out of turn. I’m the second sibling of 4, and last sibling to get married. My brother, eight years younger than me got married before me. I hated that! But I love him. I love his wife. I’m glad they are together. What can you do? I was totally pissed because my FI and I have dated for 9 years, so really, I blame HIM!
But I’d never ever say something like that to a sibling. It wouldn’t even occur to me. My other brother, who’s 4 years younger than me got married second, and when they got pregnant, I was overjoyed of course. It didn’t even occur to me that he was having kids before me and that should be a problem for me. I love all my nieces and nephews. Lots of practice.
And she cannot expect you to wait until “maybe” she gets married. I don’t care how “close” she is to an engagement. “Sometime this year” you say? Well, there’s ony two and half months left. And what if she decides not to wed until 2016? LOL
Post # 11
Just ignore her. Agree to disagree. Basically all you have to do is say yes of course whatever you say. Do what feels right for you and your husband. If the time is right and you’re ready for a baby go for it you don’t need anybody’s permission. What is she gonna do if you end up pregnant and she’s getting married…NOTHING! Lol Don’t sweat it.
Post # 12
If she wanted to be the first to have a baby, I guess she should have started working on that sooner. Tell her to suck it up and that it’s none of her business and she gets no say in the matter.
Post # 13
@Eckle: HA! I actually made a joke about the republican thing to my DH. I should put a sign down there that says “Paul Ryan and SIL–no trespassing!”
@honeybee1999: LOL I know! I actually know she won’t be getting engaged in 2012 actually. I know her BF and he said he has no plans to propose at the moment and won’t consider it until after he completes a deployment and they see how they handle it. That pushes it til at least mid-2013.
What really bothers me is that she thinks this is a totally legitimate thing to say to a person (and say it over and over again).
Post # 14
The next time she says that, tell her you’ll try your best, but with the amount of sex you’re having, it’s just too hard to control. That should shut her up.
Post # 15
@Torrid: Or the sperm. You tried to tell them to swim the other way but obviously one wasn’t listening.
@bearlove: what… more than once? I think it’s getting time for a sharp response. But better if it comes from her own brother.
Post # 16
@paula1248: Oh yeah, this has totally been said to me or to DH multiple times. The ‘fat bridesmaid’ comment was during my bachelorette party. The first time I was just so damn shocked I thought she HAD to be kidding. Then it kept coming up, and she kept sounding more serious each time. Next time I really think I’m going to have to have a pre-planned response about this being extremely inappropriate (even if I’m not TTC’ing, it’s just not her place at all).