Rude to Invite Only Family Childen?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should we invite only family children?
    Yes, only family : (65 votes)
    94 %
    No, include all children : (4 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    40 posts
    • Wedding: May 2013

    You are totally ok! It is YOUR wedding… Do not feel obligated to invite your parent’s friends kids! Many people don’t invite any children to their wedding in order to cut down their guest list, you are 100% OK to choose to only include family. Stand up for yourself and the things you want for your wedding, while it is important to be respectful, it is also important you get the day you’ve been dreaming of! Good luck 🙂

    Post # 4
    3633 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I think it’s okay as long as it’s clear they’re “family” kids. To be quite candid, I would be annoyed that I had to find a sitter and I arrive and see 30 kids roaming around unless I knew it’s because they’re family.

    Either way, I would be prepared for backlash. I think there will be people that are significantly less understanding and believe it’s literally all kids or none, versus exceptions being made for immediate family members.

    Post # 5
    1369 posts
    Bumble bee

    Could you pull a no kids under 16? I agree with lilbluebird in that if I had kids and I was told no but then saw kids running around it would be annoyed.


    But, if you cant do the 16 and under thing then it is what it is. You can’t afford to pay for everyone and their brother, or in this case their kids.

    Post # 6
    2319 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    It’s your wedding, so invite whichever kids (family, all, or none), that you want!

    Post # 7
    7055 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @MrsN14:  Unless you’re much closer to your cousins than I am, I would exclude cousins’ kids too. At least in my family, we tend to be close to our siblings’ kids, but not other kids. So I think it’s perhaps even better to restrict it to kids of your own siblings. (And any other closely related kids, e.g. if you or FI have a much younger sibling).

    I think it’s always OK to invite closely related kids only; but I also think it’s easier (in terms of not offending guests) to have a handful of kids present, than 30 kids present.

    Post # 8
    2896 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    i think it’s ok, but i would just include nieces/nephews and first cousins. that’s what we did for our wedding, although if i could do it over again, i wouldn’t invite any kids. my husband has a lot of nieces and nephews and their parents suck at making them behave, so needless to say we had kids running everywhere :/

    Post # 9
    4474 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    Only family is fine for kids. I would never expect to be invited to a wedding with my kids (in the future) unless I was family. And even then if it was a distant relative I would understand. 

    Post # 10
    843 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    We are doing family only kids, so do it!

    Post # 12
    4568 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @MrsN14:  im not saying it is right or wrong. i went to a close family friends wedding. ( ive known him so long i was at his babyshower before he was born lol) and they said no kids but when we went to the wedding there were like 30 kids there. its there wedding and i respect that. but i was kinda insulted. 

    Post # 13
    1535 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @MrsN14:  I hope it’s not considered rude to only invite the children of family members because that’s what we’re doing!

    To be honest, I really wanted a childfree wedding.  Unfortunately, my fiance has a huge family that includes a ton of first cousins of varying ages (I think the youngest is maybe 6 or 7 and the oldest is mid-30s).  There was really no way we could only invite some of the cousins (but not others).  And obviously some of the older cousins also have kids of their own … So yeah.

    If I had kids, I honestly wouldn’t even want to bring them to a wedding.  I’d want to find a babysitter and then live it up for the night!  Maybe I don’t understand because I don’t actually have kids yet … But I know plenty of people (one of my best friends/bridesmaids included!) who are opting (or have opted in the past) to leave the kids at home.

    Post # 14
    2317 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    We only have one child in our two families – a 5 month old so we don’t have the same issue as you with having too many family children so we have invited our friends’ children but I think at the end of the day what you decide is what you decide, but I think I would state somewhere that there will be children there who are your relatives, just in case any of your friends wonder why there are children there when theirs weren’t invited. 

    Post # 15
    4576 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Your wedding, your choice: invite who you want, and do not feel you have to offer anyone any sort or reasoning. It would be beyond rude of them to press you for it.

    Post # 16
    12 posts
    • Wedding: November 2013

    I think it’s perfectly okay to have only children of family members. We put “adult reception to immediately follow” right on our invites to avoid any confusion. The only kids who will be there will be my six nephews who are all ring bearers. I was worried people might be offended at first but had to get past that quickly in order to stay within budget. 

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