Post # 1
After looking at the guest list and realizing there are over 350 guests and the venue holds 300 we needed to find a way to cut it. Right now we are considering only allowing children of family members (cousin’s kids, siblings kids, etc) which adds up to about 30 kids. None of the friends we are inviting have children but our parents friends all have children of various ages. Is it rude to exclude these children? My parents want to invite the children of their best friends but I think it’s better if it’s all friends kids or no friends kids. Would you be offended if your kids weren’t invited but there were 30 kids present?
Post # 3
You are totally ok! It is YOUR wedding… Do not feel obligated to invite your parent’s friends kids! Many people don’t invite any children to their wedding in order to cut down their guest list, you are 100% OK to choose to only include family. Stand up for yourself and the things you want for your wedding, while it is important to be respectful, it is also important you get the day you’ve been dreaming of! Good luck 🙂
Post # 4
I think it’s okay as long as it’s clear they’re “family” kids. To be quite candid, I would be annoyed that I had to find a sitter and I arrive and see 30 kids roaming around unless I knew it’s because they’re family.
Either way, I would be prepared for backlash. I think there will be people that are significantly less understanding and believe it’s literally all kids or none, versus exceptions being made for immediate family members.
Post # 5
Could you pull a no kids under 16? I agree with lilbluebird in that if I had kids and I was told no but then saw kids running around it would be annoyed.
But, if you cant do the 16 and under thing then it is what it is. You can’t afford to pay for everyone and their brother, or in this case their kids.
Post # 6
It’s your wedding, so invite whichever kids (family, all, or none), that you want!
Post # 7
@MrsN14: Unless you’re much closer to your cousins than I am, I would exclude cousins’ kids too. At least in my family, we tend to be close to our siblings’ kids, but not other kids. So I think it’s perhaps even better to restrict it to kids of your own siblings. (And any other closely related kids, e.g. if you or FI have a much younger sibling).
I think it’s always OK to invite closely related kids only; but I also think it’s easier (in terms of not offending guests) to have a handful of kids present, than 30 kids present.
Post # 8
i think it’s ok, but i would just include nieces/nephews and first cousins. that’s what we did for our wedding, although if i could do it over again, i wouldn’t invite any kids. my husband has a lot of nieces and nephews and their parents suck at making them behave, so needless to say we had kids running everywhere :/
Post # 9
Only family is fine for kids. I would never expect to be invited to a wedding with my kids (in the future) unless I was family. And even then if it was a distant relative I would understand.
Post # 10
We are doing family only kids, so do it!
Post # 11
I am very close to my cousin’s kids, I babysit them every week and 4 will be our flower girls/ring bearers. The only child our siblings will have is a 6 month old baby. All our first cousins are 28+ so no kids there. There may be some cousin’s kids that I wouldn’t mind not inviting but I didn’t want to invite some cousin’s kids and not others.
Post # 12
@MrsN14: im not saying it is right or wrong. i went to a close family friends wedding. ( ive known him so long i was at his babyshower before he was born lol) and they said no kids but when we went to the wedding there were like 30 kids there. its there wedding and i respect that. but i was kinda insulted.
Post # 13
@MrsN14: I hope it’s not considered rude to only invite the children of family members because that’s what we’re doing!
To be honest, I really wanted a childfree wedding. Unfortunately, my fiance has a huge family that includes a ton of first cousins of varying ages (I think the youngest is maybe 6 or 7 and the oldest is mid-30s). There was really no way we could only invite some of the cousins (but not others). And obviously some of the older cousins also have kids of their own … So yeah.
If I had kids, I honestly wouldn’t even want to bring them to a wedding. I’d want to find a babysitter and then live it up for the night! Maybe I don’t understand because I don’t actually have kids yet … But I know plenty of people (one of my best friends/bridesmaids included!) who are opting (or have opted in the past) to leave the kids at home.
Post # 14
We only have one child in our two families – a 5 month old so we don’t have the same issue as you with having too many family children so we have invited our friends’ children but I think at the end of the day what you decide is what you decide, but I think I would state somewhere that there will be children there who are your relatives, just in case any of your friends wonder why there are children there when theirs weren’t invited.
Post # 15
Your wedding, your choice: invite who you want, and do not feel you have to offer anyone any sort or reasoning. It would be beyond rude of them to press you for it.
Post # 16
I think it’s perfectly okay to have only children of family members. We put “adult reception to immediately follow” right on our invites to avoid any confusion. The only kids who will be there will be my six nephews who are all ring bearers. I was worried people might be offended at first but had to get past that quickly in order to stay within budget.