(Closed) Rumors led to physical fight with Future SIL – wanted to end life

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I assume you were drinking, because I can’t imagine you (or any sane adult) would haul off and hit someone sober just because you didn’t like what she said to you. No matter what she said, hitting her was never going to make anything better. It sounds like you need some anger management counseling.

Honestly, I think it will take a LOT for your relationship with his family to come back from this. I think you should start by apologizing to his sister and to the rest of the people at the party.

Post # 4
Hostess
3000 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

hmmm not really sure what say here. Time will heal all wounds (literally) so you just have to give everyone time to cool down including yourself!

Post # 5
Member
1785 posts
Buzzing bee

You start by saying you can have a short temper, and your behavior bore that out.  You’re lucky you weren’t charged with assault.  I understand being upset about the malicious rumors, but you have to find a way control your temper.

Post # 6
Member
10454 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

Ummm wow. That is quite the event. You definitely need to make apologies to everyone, profusely. Honestly if I was your FSIL I would probably never forgive you for knocking teeth out! I think this will be a real tough one to get over with his family. 

Post # 7
Member
1849 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Not saying that it’s even remotely right or a good plan, but if I had a couple drinks and someone said that to me, I might’ve hit her too. I never have, so I can’t say for sure, but sounds like she was asking for you to react as strongly as possible. I’m sorry OP. If your relationship survives, I would apologize to the entire family for hitting her, but not for standing up for yourself. Unless she becomes sugary sweet after this, I would make sure she knows that you still intend on standing up to her, albeit in a civilized manner. 

ETA: definitely try to keep a closer eye on escalating anger in the future, in case she’s looking for a reason to get you charged with something, or perhaps if this is a particularly strong feature of your personality. 

Post # 8
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’m going to be painfully honest. If he loves his family and is close with them its not going to work out with you.  If his family loves to gossip there will never be a peaceful moment and there will always be drama. Why would you want to marry into that BS?

Post # 9
Member
2607 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Please, seek counseling ASAP.  It sounds like you have some anger managent issues.  Also, if you are considering suicide, you need professional help immediately.  

Post # 10
Member
855 posts
Busy bee

It sucks that you were accused of so,etching you feel so strongly against but I would never…..NEVER hit someone. youare very lucky they didn’t call the police. I wold have called the police and you wouldn’t be attending family functions ever again.

i do not at all think this is worth you ever wanting to “end it” (your life) it was horrible decision on both of your parts. ITA with the poster about that said you should get anger management help. Punching someone so much that they lose teeth sounds like you were completely out of control.

i am pretty sure that my FI would leave me if I ever behaved in this way.

Post # 11
Member
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Welcome to the bee!

 

 

Post # 12
Member
624 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Fighting is wrong.  But what she said crossed the line to the point where I think I might have lost it too.  I think you should apologize for sure, but let it be known that you expect an apology in return.  To spread such a horrible rumor about the woman her brother is about to marry is more unforgiveable than a black eye.  The black eye will go away but rumors like that can stick for a loooooong time.  I think your FI really needs to step in and take control of the situation, set his family/friends straight on the rumor, and tell his sister to mind her own business not speak ill of his future wife ever again.   

I would also like to say that unless anyone was in your shoes they cant possibly know how that felt at that moment.  Its easy to say that we would maintain our composure and be “ladylike” but honestly, no one is perfect.  Hitting is never the answer but when you are in a blind rage, anything can happen. 

Post # 13
Member
2168 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@anella:  I am actually shocked that you were not charged with assault or assault causing bodily harm. My man would leave me if I ever did something like this, for ANY reason. I can’t imagine that his family will ever be able to get past it. If you are having thoughts of ending your life you should seek help immediately.

Post # 14
Member
2336 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

No clue whether the OP is actually reading these or not, but…

What would *I* have done? I’d have kept my hands to myself… Hitting people is not a good coping mechanism. You are lucky you weren’t sent to jail.

I would have informed “Beth” (or whoever it was) that she was incorrect and that she was also being extremely rude. Then I’d have excused myself and left.

Post # 15
Member
3689 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

You need anger management counseling.  What you did is called battery, and you should consider yourself very lucky if she hasn’t or isn’t going to press charges and have you arrested. I don’t care what she said about you.  It doesn’t give you any right to put your hands on her.

Frankly, if he’s close to his family and they don’t like you, it’s probably not going to work out between you and him.

Post # 16
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

@anella:  I don’t really buy this story but if it is true, then you should have been arrested.  Hopefully the woman you assaulted presses charges.  You should break up with your FI now, just to save him the trouble of having to do it in the near future.

The topic ‘Rumors led to physical fight with Future SIL – wanted to end life’ is closed to new replies.

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