Post # 1
BF and I are 23 and 24. We have known each other/been good friends for about 5 years. He moved away for 2 years and is now back. We started dating 3 months ago. We didn’t date before because he was in a relationship when we initially met. Anyway, so we know each other’s past, family, finances and everything else.
He bought me a promise ring after only being together for 2 weeks. I have been engaged twice (both were because of pregnancy, young and stupid, I’ll admit) and neither relationship worked. We have both been single for quite a while until now. Anyway, he is looking into engagement rings…but not only that, HE is talking wedding. He is the one that brought it up…totally caught me off guard but I have been head over heels in love with him since we first met so I’m actually excited lol.
My question is, do you think it would be too rushed if we planned to get married around the 1 1/2 year mark? So, say, next summer?
I have lived completely on my own and raised my kids thus far, alone while working constantly for everything I own. He has also lived completely on his own but has no kids so he would have a little bit more adjusting to do as far as life style goes.
We both know this is what we want. We want to be together and we want it official relatively soon. But I don’t really want people thinking we just jumped into it, ya know?
Post # 3
i wouldn’t judge or really think anything given that story. the only thing that makes me think you are rushing is the fact that YOU are quesitoning it by posting this thread and therefore being unsure yourself!
Post # 5
I guess I am not really questioning it, I know what I want. I am just wondering if that amount of time is….common (for lack of better word)? Is there some unwritten wedding law that states what is considered too soon? I mean, I would marry this man tomorrow if finances allowed us to do it “right”. So really, it has nothing to do with our feelings on it, personally…more on what seems “acceptable”.
Sorry if I wasn’t clear in my original post 🙂 Thanks for the response, though!
Post # 6
@pmladyluck88: I say do what you feel is right 🙂 I say throw “accetable” out the window… Trust me, I know!
Post # 7
I think you should do what you feel in your heart. I met my guy in July 2008, started dating in January 2009, engaged by July 2009. I have a son from a previous marriage and he has no kids. We’ve been fine eversince. People thought we rushed, we heard the rumors and the taunts, but if your love is strong enough you’ll prevail. Don’t do what makes other people happy do what makes you happy. I did and I still agree with my choice.
Post # 7
I think it’s smart to wait. I would never ever criticize someone who chose not to, it is their business and not mine, but it’s really hard to tell if a relationship if going to last when you’re still in that brand-new puppy love stage. If you wouldn’t be getting married until summer of 2012 anyways, I sure don’t see the harm in waiting a bit longer to get engaged. Especially if you have had broken engagements before, I would slow down and give yourself some time.
Post # 8
I think if you’re ready, you shouldn’t care what others think. And I think the fact that you’ve been engaged before makes you more mature and sure of what you want. Of course, people will talk, think that you’re young, not ready, ect. Honestly, I think there’s not right time on a calendar, it’s just what feels right for the couple.
Post # 9
My FI and I have exactly the same story as yours,apart from it was me who moved away. We sorta dated for a few months,I moved away and then moved back.We bumped into each other and a few weeks later we were officially together.3 months in he proposed and we will have officially been “together” for about 18 months by the time we get married. As you say,we already knew a lot about each other before he proposed,and we feel totally comfortable with getting married. However I know that a lot of people were very unsure about it at first,my mother for example was very wary of if it would last etc. But no both our families are happy
My advice?do what makes you guys happy,not what everybody else thinks you should do.
Post # 10
If you think you are rushing, then you probably are. No rush, no rush 😉
Post # 11
We got married at 18 months. However, we are older and neither one of us ever thought we were rushing it.
Post # 12
Honestly, it does sound like rushing (IMO).
being friends and dating are different. So I think 3 months of dating isn’t long enough to know if you can spend a lifetime with a person. Obviously, I don’t know you personally and it might be right for you. But be prepared for apprehensive & concerned family/friends. You need to be very certain that its the right timeline for you because you’ll probably have to “defend your position” to concerned friends/family.
Post # 13
I say this to everyone who asks a question like this: if you have to ask, then please do yourself a favor and give it somemore time. You probably are not ready.
Post # 14
I understanding the questioning. From my perspective, I’d only be questioning whether it was too soon because I’d feel like everyone would judge me!
Do what you feel in your heart. I just read this awesome article earlier this week about short engagements (it also highlights couples who get engaged shortly after they start dating).
When you know, you know. 🙂
Post # 15
I don’t think there is a “normal” time. My parents met and got married within 7 months (4 dating, 3 engaged). They’ve been married for over 35 years now! The only question I have is the fact that you have kids and he does not (if I gathered my information correctly). I think 1.5 years is a great time to make sure he is in for the long haul with not only you but your kids… who will be his kids as well 🙂 It’s very exciting I believe! I just like to take things slower when kids are involved. I think your timeline is great… and even if you do it sooner or later, I’m sure it will be fine because YOU know yourself and your relationship, not me. 🙂