Post # 1
A few questions for you Bees that either taken boudoir photos or are planning to.
1) Are there specific questions to ask photographers re: boudoir (i.e. privacy concerns)?
2) Did anyone here work with a male photographer? If so, what was your experience like? I found one whose style I like and he’s just branching out into this (mostly shoots weddings/engagements) so his pricing is attractive. I’m just not sure if I would be as comfortable as with a woman but I don’t know for sure.
Post # 3
- Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas
I haven’t decided whether or not I will do them, but I will say that I know my fiance would be upset if I had a male photographer. Just a thought.
Post # 4
I’ve been planning on doing these. I’m probably going to have a female photographer, only because I already love her and know they will be great. However, for me (and this is just me) I don’t think I would feel more comfortable either way. If you have a professional photographer, and plenty of confidence (or just lack of caring) I think you can go with a male and have it be perfectly fine.
I would ask your fiance if he would mind though.
Post # 5
I have to second that..I am not planning on doing this for the wedding but asked my FI about doing it for a future gift. He specifically said “not with a male photographer”.
I have to respect his take on that.
Post # 6
I really want to surprise him with these so I’m not sure how to ask without tipping him off. Any ideas?
Post # 7
I’d say if you’re going to have a male photog, arrange for a woman to be in the room with you at all times, whether it’s a friend you bring, or his female assistant. Explain very clearly to him that while you trust him, you’re more comfortable that way – he should respect that. I’d say if you’re not getting creepy vibes from him, it shouldn’t be a problem. It’s art, he’s an artist, and it’s not like you’re doing a full porn shoot.
Post # 8
@daydreamwander – I did ask him and he’s totally cool with me bringing a female friend. His take is that I should do whatever will make me most comfortable because the shots will turn out better. He is a member of a couple of professional photography associations and doesn’t seem creepy in the least. It’s just that he’s very new to boudoir (mainly shoots wedding/engagements) and is trying to expand his business. He did ask if I’d be willing to allow him to use some of the (non-identifying) shots for his website with my specific permission on which shots.
Post # 9
If you like your photographer, stick with him. If he’s not creepy, no prob. Bring a friend for the help–you’ll want someone to adjust the lace on your panties or fix your bra and i’d rather have my friend do that. Things just don’t lie right when you’re posing.
A professional is a professional. He’s not going to get all excited photographing you. It’s his job to look at you subjectively through the lens.
I also have a male gynecologist, lol. So uh, i kinda take the stand that “a job is a job” and if he’s a professional, he’s a professional in my book. Men see me in skimpy bikinis on the beach anyways, whatever.
Post # 10
Maybe make sure your SO doesn’t mind… I know mine definatly would!
Post # 11
I don’t think it would matter so much to me – but FI would flip out if he found it it was a male photog – and that’s why I would go with a female.
Post # 12
So I asked one of my dear friends to come to the shoot and she was totally encouraging and enthusiastic and offered to come whether it was a male or female photographer.
I should point out that my assumption that he isn’t creepy is only based on email/phone exchange (I haven’t met him in person) but he was very patient with all my questions and very knowledgeable about photography and his marketing plan for this side of the business and who the other local top boudoir photographers are and how his style is similar/different.
I guess my only thing at this point is to figure out if my FI would mind a male photog and I’m not sure how to ask without tipping him off (I really want these to be surprise — it’s so unlike me to do something like this that I’m sure he wouldn’t suspect – also I’m not even sure he would know this is a now-common thing for weddings). I would pull the old “my friend is thinking about doing… what do you think?” bit, but the only one friend that is engaged right now said (in front of him) that she thinks photography is not a priority item for her and their budget is mainly going towards an amazing venue and top-notch caterer so it wouldn’t be plausible that she would spend on something like this.
Any ideas on how to get FI’s thoughts without spoiling the surprise, Bees?
Post # 13
I may have a weird point of view, but I think it might be easier with a male photog. But then again I flirt with everyone male or female, babies or the eldery.
He would know what guys would like and have a different perspective on things that a woman might not think about.
Also, on the FI thoughts. I would just ask him if he would have a problem with a male photographer doing your wedding pictures (mention the getting ready part, usually involving undergarments and getting into the dress and etc) if he does I would say no to the boudoire photog.
Another thought was have a friend of your do a poll of like your guy friends (in a sneaky – i’m thinking of doing this for my man type of way)
That way your guy will just be one of the polls and it’s not coming from you.
Post # 14
I know this varies from person to person, but I only felt comfortable with a female photographer. It took me a good while until I opened up and started coming out of my shell, so to speak. I also think it depends on the photographer. There was one place I so wanted to go to, but couldn’t afford their prices. They were awesome and it seemed like I would have enjoyed it a lot more. The photographer I had almost seemed too……proper is the word that comes to mind. And when I’m trying to feel/look sexy, “proper” is the last thing I want to feel. lol But, over all it was a good experience and I’m so glad I did it. Now I’m just dying to get the actual pics and then will be dying even more to give them to the FI on our wedding night!
Post # 15
Personally I don’t have any moral dilemmas with working with a male photographer. He’s there to do a job and that’s it. As long as he’s professional, it’s whatever. That being said, I wouldn’t feel comfortable about it and I know my FI wouldn’t be okay with it either.
Post # 16
It’s totally up to you and I think when your FI sees the photos, he won’t be thinking about who took them! I did have an idea to suss him out though: lingerie catalog or magazine ad. Flip through it in front of him and muse aloud, “I wonder if the model’s husband minds that she poses in front of a male photographer.”