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I didn't have a shower or bachelorette party either. Sort of made me sad but oh well.
I'm not having one either =( It bums me out, but I live out of state from all of my friends & family so that makes it hard. Only 3 things have been purchased from our registry so I wonder if we are going to get gifts...
Hey fellow bug (and others). I'm not sure if anyone's going to throw me one either. It doesn't bother me a ton right now... but I'm sure it will start to bother me more later, even after the wedding! I was just thinking about how that's the crappy part about having a bridal party with unmarried girls (ie. they might not know how things are done, how you want a little support during the pre-wedding time, or how little things can make the whole wedding process special).
Don't feel too bad! I wouldn't have had a shower but my co-workers threw me one at work. I don't have tons of friends to do that kind of stuff for me so I really expected to not get one at all. It was nice that my co-workers came through.
Maybe someone you know will end up throwing you a surprise shower? Or maybe they think that you wouldn't really be into it, since you said you're not very bride-y (even though I don't really know what you meant lol). I hope you get one though. It's nice to feel noticed & pampered a little!
I'm also another one who isn't getting a shower. It's just not part of the wedding tradition over here along with registries (really bummed...I'd have loved some proper china and crystal!), brides maids, garter toss/boquet toss, etc, etc.
On the flip side, I don't have to adhere to certain etiquette that's standard in the US like stating that I want cash gifts. That one is a relief!
I'm having a shower - but 4 months after I get married. I'm getting married in the country I am living in first and then going to my hometown for my Canadian ceremony. Since nobody has showers here, I have to wait until I get home to have my shower - and then I will only be able to bring a very limited amount of gifts back to Korea on the plane..so it will be a very different kind of shower.
It makes me a little sad for you all.
@ Katiebug, can you mention something to your BMs or mom?
Maybe they just forgot. My maid of honor keeps talking about the bachelorette party- I don't know if I'll get a shower. Maybe casually mention it around someone and see what they say.
I'm personally looking more forward to my bachelorette party than a shower.
I'm not sure if I'm getting a shower either! It's somehow nice to hear other ladies woes as well. Everyone is spread out all over the country so they may not be time the day before the wedding. MOH could be planning it for 2 days before but not everyone will be in town yet :/. It doesn't hurt to mention something and maybe someone will offer, they might not know you're interested!
We had a couples shower but I really wanted one with just my girlfriends. No bachelorette party either... I'm the first one in my close friend group to get married and we're not having a wedding party but I thought someone would want to.
I'm sorry you're not having a shower. Mine is going to be very small, just 12 people, because our families lives in other cities and states. Personally, I hate being the center of attention so I don't mind that much.
I am in the same boat as most of you girls - for now. I live out of the state and most of my family and friends are in another. My sister isn't married and doesn't really know what happens for a bride before the ceremony. I gave her a MOH guidebook and told her I would like a bridal party, but so far she hasn't put anything in concrete - and the wedding is in two months! FI's family is in another state as well, so as far as having the people who are most likely to be at a bridal/bachelorette party, they are scattered everywhere.
If I don't have one- I am okay with it (a little!).
Have you thought about you and your FI throwing yall own?
my mom has offered to throw mine but most likely she will just put her name on the invitation and I will take care of the rest.
you should have one!
I don't want one because I don't like going to them! I could also go without a bachelorette party too, but if someone planned it I wouldn't be as against it as a shower.
Hey!! We're date twins! Congratulations...
And... I dont have any planned yet either. I talked to my mom last night... I said... I dont want to be the kind of person that says "I want a shower!" But... I want a shower.
It has NOTHING... ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with the gifts and everything to do with someone randomly caring about you enough to think about you and plan a lil special something.... I have a lot of friends. But none of them have been really involved with the wedding because they're busy too. But after planning MANY MANY showers in the past, it would be nice if someone would do the same for me.
KNOWHOWYAFEEL. :( Good luck! and keep us updated.
I'm another bride that won't be getting a shower either. It's somewhat disappointing reading about everyone's awesome themed showers and the fun pix to realize you'll never get to experience that joyous moment of getting married.
awww hi date twin!...i dont think i will be having a formal bachelorette or bridal shower either....everyone's spread out across the country! two of my best friends from home made a surprise trip down to me a few weekends ago which was like a mini bachelorette party, but it wasnt by any means an all out affair...(I hate surprises! lol.) I feel you...I just keep focusing on the wedding day and the honeymoon....the wedding day is going to be stress enough having all that focus on US!!!!!
Showers are usually suppose to be a surprise, are you sure nobody has anything planned? Maybe mention it to your mom, so sorry hope you get one! You're not getting married until July so there is plenty of time
@katiebug could they possibly be throwing you a surprise one at some point and they are just making you think there isn't going to be one? You do still have a few months until the wedding.
This is going to sound silly but FI and I almost considered having a very small wedding and going out to dinner afterwards with our family and very close friends. Reason being that we were having difficulty finding a reception location within 6 months of our wedding date. I was sad at the prospect of this since I would most likely not have a shower since I would feel odd having a shower with people who wouldn't be at the wedding.
Another no-shower bride over here too- my friends & BMs aren't really involved in the wedding very much, and neither mine or my FI's family is really involved either. We're the first in our families and friend groups to get married, so I think it hasn't really occured to anyone. It makes me a little sad sometimes (totally hear you, @artsybride10!) but oh well.
Im not having one either..:*( Everyone lives out of state so its not like they didnt want too. my ex's mother offered because she felt sorry for me; how weird is that HAHA. Nice of her but weird. My fiance and i were talking about shower/bachlett party ect. and we both agreed that it was alright that we werent going to have one because we will have eachother :-). He is so good on making me feel better about it.
Its ok to be sad but always look for the possitive: Your GETTIng Married YIPEE. :-)
I would say that is vent-worthy! Someone should definitely throw you a shower! Every bride deserves it, even if they aren't "bride-y" I mean you still need stuff for you new life with your man!
Sometimes people don't necessarily know that throwing a shower is expected. I had to specifically tell my MOH (my younger sister) that throwing a shower and a bachelorette party were expected of her. I said it nicely, don't worry... but I doubt that she would have known about these responsibilities if I didn't specifically tell her.
...so maybe you can hint that you would enjoy having a shower to your MOH, mom, or whoever else.
I won't have one (I don't think!)
We are not really doing all the stuff surrounding weddings - we will just throw a casual BBQ/engagement party and skip the bachelor parties, showers, rehearsal dinners and the day after brunch.
Aw. I'm sorry. I know how you feel.
Technically I am getting one in May thrown "technically" by my MOH, 2 BMs and FMIL. But I feel like it was kinda thrown into my MOH's lap who is doing 90% off the planning for a destination bridal shower by my FMIL.
We had planned to head to the city where my family is in May for a pseudo bachelorrette party. Something very low key. Then my FMIL suggested to my MOH that maybe I would like the bridal shower there that weekend because my family will be there. Which is true. But then instead of a bachelorrette it turned into just a bridal shower. That my MOH is planning 90% of.
I guess most of it is because of a longer deep seeded jealousy issue. FMIL threw FI's SIL a bridal shower when his brother was going to get married (they ended getting married but no reception). The brother & SIL wasn't even living locally and FMIL waited for them to be in town and everything. All aunts and female cousins etc. IT was so nice and I've always looked forward to FMIL doing that for me.
But FMIL and FFIL have since retired to another state. At one point I thought perhaps a surprise bridal shower might be in the works though I highly doubt FMIL would fly up just to throw me a bridal shower sometimes she can be awfully selfish. Anyway now that she either intentionally or unintentionally passed the shower duty to my MOH I highly doubt it.
Again, it's not really about the gifts. Its more that she would take the time and effort to do all the work for a bridal shower for ME. Especially from afar.
Here's hoping YOU have a surprise bridal shower in the works!
I cannot tell you ladies how happy I was when I logged in and saw all of your comments! I suppose it's possible there is a surprise shower but I feel like it's highly unlikely--my best friend moved to Indonesia (random, I know) after I asked her to be my MOH so I haven't really felt like I had one person to go to give a hint to. We're also the first in our bridal party to get married, so I'm not sure that they all really know to think about it. I'm trying to be really considerate of my BM and not tax their time or money too much so I would feel bad mentioning it to one of my other friends.
artsybride10 hit the nail on the head. It's not like I feel like a shower is essential, it's more just that I would really appreciate the sentiment, even if it was very small and informal.
I'm lucky that my aunt offered to throw me a shower, I always have family that will come through.. but I worry that I wont have a bachelorette party. My FI has been planning his bachelor party with his guy friends for months, and my girls haven't contacted me about it at all. Same boat of course- everyone is spread all over the country, and busy busy bees... so I know how inconvenient it would be to get together before the wedding (my best friend has already indicated how inconvenient it is to even come to my wedding. Sorry that you moved to ENGLAND!)... sigh, anyway thanks for providing a thread to vent.
I'm a no-shower bride too (and no engagement party or bachelorette either)! Like a lot of you, so many of the people who would have been invited are so far away, it just didn't make sense. I do get jealous though when I see the pretty pictures of all the thought and love that goes into throwing a shower for someone, but it's just not meant to be.
Are any of you who's friends and family are spread out planning get togethers close to your wedding instead? Our wedding was the only time everyone would be together, so we're planning lots of hang out time the days before our wedding. There won't be extra gifts, but spending time with friends will be a blast!
That's really sad.I won't be having a shower either.
I have a child and nobody threw me a baby shower. The closest thing I got was a gift the old ladies at work picked up for me. They took me to lunch and gave me a baby book. It was very sweet.
I wonder if anyone knew you were expecting one? Did you have any bridesmaids? You could have made a remark to the side like "so girls, when's the shower, I want to play XYZ games", or "I was wondering what date the bachelorette party is on, as I have lots of planning to do and I need to budget for it".. something like that.
Maybe a little unorthodox, but why don't you throw yourself a little party? Invite over your girlfriends for a nice hightea or a movie night or to hit the town or whatever strikes your fancy. That is what I am planning to do - decorate the backyard a little and have a bunch of girls over for tea and scones and finger sandwiches and other yummie stuff and just have a good time and laughs and chats.
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Just a mini-vent. It's probably my own fault because I'm not particularly "bride-y" but I'm a little sad that no one has offered to throw me a shower. A bunch of my friends/acquaintances are getting married this summer and everyone has the cutest pics of their showers up on facebook. Sigh.