(Closed) Sad about changing last name :o(

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
597 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

To me I am a little sad because my last name is very unique and special. It’s Italian so I always get asked if I am Italian. I am sad that no one would ask me if I was Italian anymore if I do change it. My family and other branches of our family never had any boys to carry on the name, so it’s very sad. In fact, my fiance knows how special and unique it is that he’s been considering changing HIS name to MINE. We probably won’t though 🙁 Of course I am looking forward to us having the same last name though, whatever it is. He doesn’t want a hyphenated last name though.

Post # 4
Member
648 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

My parents had all girls so I’m a bit sad. When my older sister had her first son she gave him our parents last name as his middle name as her way of passing it on. On the other side of things, my FI wants to try for a boy (we already have a girl) in the future so he can pass on his name because he was the only boy in his family.

Post # 5
Member
14503 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I am almost fourty, a single parent, and the most common last name in the states.  I was more likely to get hit by a bus than get married at my age being a single parent, so I was thrilled to be changing my name (doing the happy dance – I beat the odds!).  The only thing I was sad about is that my son now has a different last name than I do.

Post # 6
Member
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I dealt with that by not changing my name.  Is there some reason you want to change?  Especially if you are not changing at work?

Post # 7
Member
659 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I’m not changing mine but I’ll probably go by both socially, just not legally.  It’s too expensive and difficult to deal with at work and beyond.

In 2010, I don’t see the need. 

If it’s sad, don’t change it!

Post # 8
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Its just like any major change – it brings excitement but also a sense of loss. I was happy to change my name but yes it does feel weird. It will take a while to get used to. I wanted to change my last name because I have always felt that way – it was never a question to me – I would change my last name to that of the man I married. I also wanted to change to feel more like a family and so that I will have the same last name as my children. Just remember that you still are the same person. It is just a representation of this giant life step that you just took and that is pretty cool!!! I have had my name changed for a few weeks and I know it will be a while before it feels normal!

Post # 9
Member
2111 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I felt the same way. But I knew it was something I wanted to do so our family had the same last name. I didn’t want to have a different name than our kids… My last name has been changed for a couple of months now and I am getting used to it. I still catch myself writing my maiden name but it is getting easier.

Post # 10
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

i feel the same way…going from such a unique and cool last name to something super generic has got me feeling down. But my love for the fiance overpowers it all i guess, its bittersweet.

I think about my mother and how her name just sounds so perfect like it was always mean to be that way but obvioulsy it wasnt, to think of her as Karen (maiden name) is just strange! Maybe i will get to that point in say…20 years.

Post # 11
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

@starry: wooo hoo for the italians! i have a super italian name and will be changing to a very generic last name. but i really dont think i would have it any other way.

Post # 12
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

You dont have to change your name if it makes you sad. Many women these days maintain their maiden name or just hyphenate. I dont think you should do it, unless your excited about it and really want it

Post # 13
Member
3576 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Let’s solve this issue and have our FI’s/Partner’s change their  last name to ours!  Who said the name change has to be the woman’s?

Post # 14
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m more than 6 months out from my wedding but I’m already sad about changing my name. My fiancé’s last name is probably the most common in the US (miller). I personally know 3 women who have the same name I will have when I’m married. It’s just weird. I would love to just hyphenate my last name but my fiancé has a pet peeve about that. I still might go that route but I’m still not sure.

Post # 15
Member
2589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I’m basically indifferent–I’m going to change my last name to his (which is sort of a bummer because his family is HUGE and I’ll be yet another “Mrs. ___”) but keep my last name professionally (I’m a writer and all my creds are under my maiden name, obviously!). Problem solved!

Post # 16
Member
362 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I have a fantastic last name (Devine) and I am surprisingly looking forward to changing my last name, to become a wife and to be called Mrs. “new last name” 🙂 It feels special to me to be changing my last name to my husbands, it’s all part of the experience, and I’m sure all my friends will still say, “hey Devine” when they see me!

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