Post # 1
Ok being honest here, well my fiance proposed on a day that was extremely special to us, it was perfect the day he picked. i was glowing and on top of the world.
one thing is i am very simple in all i do, i dont like jewellery and roses and all that jazz, but when it came to an engagement and since he was soo keen on it i was waiting expectedly and indeed it was all amazing, it was so personal and just like us.
but the ring seemed to bother me a bit. long ago he said one day how i ll be having a white gold diamond ring for our engagemnt and i listened and expectedly waited. on the day of our engagement though, whne he opened the box, it was a yellow gold ring (which looked like white gold because of the stones), mind you i dont wear yellow gold and he knows that neither does he cuz he hates yellow gold himself! but he said he picked this cuz it can be fooled to look like white gold as well and that he thoughht this ring reprsented the best of both white gold and yellow gold. it was a curved band of zircons, 13 to be precise, and to see few of my other friends had the very same ring!!
now my fiance is my best freind and i run to him for everything!! i have spoken to him about it as well and questioned him on why he picked out something which was sooo unlike him and me as well. i feel so bad that i have become incredibly materialistic. he listens and he says lets change it, but i keep saying no no we cant do that, cuz u spent so much time picking a ring for me. but deep inside i want to and i feel bad abt it.
he also looked for diamond rings but he said he thought the one he picked for me looked the best. but i told him how much that sentecnce he told me years ago was the ring i pictured. and it does upset him but i dont mean bad, because he is amazing and gave me the best day of my life and the ring is just a thing, but that dream he gave me was something i really loved.
and was soo worried as to why he picked otherwise. he is ever ready to change it to something we both agree on adn we have but i just dont want to admit it cuz howevr dispappointed of a zircon engagemnt ring i am, i loved it cuz of his heart, but then a ring is not really what his heart is all about so i shudnt feel as bad.
i dont know.. any suggestions?
Post # 3
Hang on, the guy offered to change it.. so why did you say no? you wouldnt be hurting his feelings, he just wants you to be happy… Guys are pretty logical sometimes, mostly if they say it, they actually mean it. Change the ring, and you will both be happy! after all, its just a ring.. his love is still there with or without the ring.
Post # 4
yeah i know 🙂 thanks so much for the advice and yes he is very logical 🙂 and i adore him 😉
Post # 5
I agree! My guy actually pilfered one of my own rings from my jewellery box to propose with because although he was pretty sure he knew what I would like, he wanted to be sure and for us to choose it together.
This is a piece of jewellery you will wear for the rest of your life. Choosing it together won’t make it any less special — in fact, I think I love mine even more because it was something we did together and chose together, which is what marriage is all about. I really, really treasure the memory of the day we went ring shopping (we got engaged on the Wednesday and bought the ring on the Saturday) — it was a really happy, perfect day the two of us spent together.
Post # 6
yeah i understand! even for me, that very day we got engaged which was our anniversary was wonderful and i could not belive he went thru so much to do all that on that day.. was perfectly us 🙂 thanks for the advice 😀
Post # 7
Same thing happened to me… We’d actually picked out the ring together last fall and then he proposed with something totally different — something, um, bad. (In my defense, the center stone was completely crooked and I could FEEL it move, if I put my finger on it. Agh!) Anyhow, I felt the same way you do. Horrible! Materialistic. Bad for questioning a gift that he gave you, but my fiance was happy to change it, too. We didn’t run out immediately and change it, we waited a couple of months, but when we did, I had the idea to repurpose every bit of the original ring. (I’m not sure if you’re able to do it, in this case?) We took the diamonds that went around the band and having them made into my wedding band, we moved the original center stone to my new e-ring… I made a point of making him know how much I wanted to preserve the elements he gave me, which eased a lot of tension.
Post # 8
I think you should change it, after all he did suggest it.
Post # 9
I understand the guilt that you feel, but now that you did bother talking to him about it, you should change it. If you don’t, you’ll have to learn to be happy with your ring, because he did suggest to change it and you decided to keep it instead; therefore can’t feel bad about it because it was your choice…
But, I think that now that he knows you’re not happy with it, he will feel worse if you keep it just not to hurt his feelings.
Post # 10
i do want to keep the ring not because of guilt but because he gave it to me and it is beautiful 🙂 he suggested that he will get me another one someday like how he described back then which i can wear with my wedding ring.
so im glad 🙂 i definitely dont want to get rid of this because i do love it and its a wonderful memory for me.
thank u for ur advice 🙂