(Closed) Sad about my dress

posted 9 years ago in Dress
Post # 4
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Keep your dress!  It’s beautiful, the sweetheart neckline is so flattering on you, and it’s perfect for an outdoor wedding.  A ballgown or "princess dress" would look ridiculous at an outdoor wedding, imo.

Post # 5
Member
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

it’s beautiful

 

if you dont like it maybe you can add elements to your liking it’s close to what you like

can you add embrodiery at the bottom?

can you add more petticoat to make it poufier?

Post # 6
Member
321 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

You aren’t feeling your dress.

This IS bad news. I can tell in your second photo that you aren’t sure and in the first photo you clearly aren’t comfortable. Sure, the dress is too long and you’re likely going to spend $450 on alterations, unless you’re not wearing shoes in this photo and in that case, the dress might not be so long.

 

I too have a maggie dress, I am wearing Bianca.  I never in a million years would have picked it out of a catalog. In fact I probably only pulled it from the rack because it was a size 8 and we guessed that was the size i would fit. Also, I liked the color, a little. But when I tried this dress on, I felt like the most beautiful me and that NEVER happens for me. I loved it so much I didn’t want to take it off. It was the second dress I tried on and my friend was laying on the sofa looking for splitends or something and she sat up and at that point I realized it caught attention for looking good. Because after that she went back to lounging….which was funny because we’ve only ever met a couple of times and I was too fearful to go dress shopping alone.

 

Maggie makes great dresses. With the corset back it fits almost any body.

I know how much my dress cost and it’s not fun to think about spending this much on another dress. I’ve seen some sites where you can buy used dressed. I know…it’s your wedding an all, but there is something romantic about getting a dress that was loved at least by one person before you.

You are too beautiful to wear a dress that doesn’t make you feel so.

Here’s my recommendation.

1. Ask about a return. Don’t tell your Bridesmaids or your mom. Do this alone. You were already pressured into the dress one time. You’ve gone the route with help and so it shoudln’t be so scary or lonely this time. And now it is all about instinct, which is how a dress should be purchased.

2. Try to sell it based on your photos or those from Maggie’s page. Maybe knock a little money off the top to make it a little more appealing because someone is probably in the same boat I was…I bought straight from the rack at FULL price because I was getting a dress 6 weeks before the wedding.

3. Try dresses on until you find one you like. If you can’t recoup your money from the store owner or make a trade, then look for this same dress online at a discount or even used. But I would think that the store would want you feeling amazing and having had a good experience with them.

The shop where I went wasn’t try to sell me anything.

The owner was there the whole time, she helped me into the dresses and she gave her opinion which I really appreciated. Some of the dresses were really pretty but not on me and she was honest. But when the right dress was on, she kept a stone face. She waited for me to love it or hate and then she torn into….and talked about the dress and how it clearly didn’t need any accessories and she wasn’t even going to let me look at veils because this dress said everything and yet didn’t overpower me, which I was afraid of.

Your dress isn’t showing YOU off.

You have great shoulders and I think the sweatheart neckline doesn’t give them enough attention. I am not trying to sell you on Bianca as there are other dresses that look like this, my shoulders are by far much more flattering than my B cup and the little crumb catcher really added details where detail was needed most. Also, maybe a dress that is a little shorter in the waist, this will draw attention up to your shoulders and face.

I am not trying to be a downer. Someone here will write that it will all be okay once you have hair and makeup and shoes and accessories. I am here to tell you, if you don’t love it without those things, you won’t love it. And if feeling amazing in your is important to you, then all the Bee’s must help you get into the perfect dress.

Post # 7
Member
888 posts
Busy bee

Hey -I had my first dress freak out this week and it was the same thing!  I have a VERY simple dress (no beading, no lace NOTHING) and I got it in my head from somewhere that I should wear a big poofy, ornate dress – nothing I ever wanted before! 

I sent some friends the photo and they told me my orginal dress was way more beautiful – and after a few days, I decdied they were right.

Your dress is STUNNING and personally I am not a a huge fan of that second dress.   Your dress makes your figure look amazing – I think it would get lost in a ballgown style dress like the second one, but you have to feel good about your dress no matter what anyone else says.  Maybe you should go try on some dresses like the second style – maybe if you did you would actually find that your original dress is the perfect one and if not, you could go from there.

Post # 8
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Your dress is very flattering to your figure and is way more outdoor-wedding appropriate. 

That being said, if you want a new one, I’d follow mizunoheaven’s advice and go shopping alone.  Good luck!

Post # 9
Member
321 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

http://www.oncewed.com/find.cfm

 

here’s one to place to list it if you are interested. also a good place to look at lots of different dresses.

 It took me a long time to write my post and in that time there were some great comments. 

You could always list the dress and if it sells, maybe it was meant to be and if not then maybe it was meant to be.

I just can’t help but feel you aren’t happy about the dress in the photos.

What kind of dress do you have in mind? I see the one photo but you must have something in mind as well. Did you only go out looking for one particular type of dress? 

I know a size 8 isn’t that small but I didn’t think my 5’6 120 pound frame could wear a big dress very well. And I was WRONG!!! I thought I would be lost in it. But that just wasn’t the case. It is very thing I never dreamed how wonderful it could be. I think dresses are suppose to feel like this.

 

Post # 10
Member
2889 posts
Sugar bee

You look great in your dress and it seems perfect for an outdoor wedding. I voe that you keep it.

Post # 11
Member
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

I personally love your dress… You know it is beautiful, but you are just not feeling the wow factor.  You’ve given some compelling arguments for not ditching the dress, and you acknowledge that for your outdoor venue this is probably the more appropriate of the dresses you like.

So how about adding an element to it that you are crazy about?  You know, something that would make it totally unique and exciting to you…

Off the top of my head, I don’t totally have a vision for what that would be, but I was thinking something along the lines of a Holly Stadler shrug or a crinoline that peaks out a little at the bottom to make it more princess-y.  I’m a huge fan of the simple skirt, but if that was the element that was too plain for you, you could attach some tulle flowers… and I was searching the boards for a dress that I was thinking of that had a different type of floral embellishment on the skirt.  It was like embroidery only more… but I can’t seem to find the image.

Your dress is so beautiful and with a little bit of creativity, I bet you can make it into a dress that you are totally stoked to hop into on wedding day!

Keep us posted!

Post # 12
Member
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

the other alternatvie is to sell the dress, and shop smartly; i.e. sample sales where its way way less til you find the one

 

I’m sorry  you felt pressured, yeah you’re not quite beaming in your pics

 

when I tried mine, I literally broke down and cried–it was EXACTLY what I imagined, embroidered intricate bodice flowy skirt, bustle friendly and white–I just need to add off the shoulder sleeves, and it was only $599 from the famous kleinfeld; my mom loved the other choice which was just also beautiful but it wasn’t what I envisioned it wsa off-white I wanted white and it was 500 bucks more expensive and it didnt match my veil; the one I liked was perfect, my sis it was the One because I cried when I second-guessed myself even my saleslady said you have to love it 500 dollars more; even she didnt try to sell the more expensive one to me coz she knew I loved what I loved

 

good luck!

Post # 13
Member
1357 posts
Bumble bee

I’ve had second thoughts about my dress too, so I know how you feel. But everytime I put it on, I love it more. I wanted to order a new one, but I"m glad I waited. I think there is so much anxiety in the waiting, and we all sit and look at every other bride’s beautiful dress. You look stunning in that dress, and I am sure your groom will think so too. And isn’t that what it is all about? You look beautiful – stop overanalyzing and stop comparing it to everything else out there. I have a feeling you will love it when you put it on again!

Post # 14
Member
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Can you go try it on again, *alone*, and then decide?  I’m big on loving your dress…and if you’re not feeling it to me that’s a problem.  It is lovely but that hardly matters…I see so many lovely dresses on these boards, but most are not what I want.  And that’s what matters.  I don’t think there is an objective "right" dress for any venue or person.  It’s about how it makes you feel.

I think there are options to find dresses at lower cost.  And considering that the dress is new you could probably sell it for more than a previously worn one would cost.  Of course, an in-store trade would be ideal.  Have you talked to the bridal salon?  I def. think you should at least go back and try it on again. Maybe you’ll change your mind.  And regardless, I think it would help you get some clarity on what you want to do next.

I will also add that you know yourself better than anyone.  If you’re not the type who second guesses and yet you are doing that w.r.t. your dress, then that’s telling you something.  Listen to *yourself* on this one…it sounds like you’ve been able to plan a wedding that you feel very confident about.  So have faith in your feelings and opinions.  If you’re unsure, do what you need to become sure (which is either retrying this dress or finding a new one or changing this dress in some way).  I’m reminded of many episodes of "Say Yes to the Dress" where a relatively minor change turned a dress into exactly what the bride wanted. 

And good luck…it will be alright no matter what.  But you should be happy!

Post # 15
Member
321 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Doctorgirl has some great suggestions.

Maybe you could go back to the store and try this same dress on. One of the differences between the dress is the area where the puffy part starts….perhaps you could have the tailor take up the sides, that is bring the part that covers your hip up higher in the side raunching  to give the skirt an opportunity to be more puffy. 

I like the idea of the tulle flowers as well or the adding tulle to the underneath to give it more lift.

Play around with the dress in the store and maybe this will help to ease your mind.

And if not, ask them about swtiching your deposit to another dress. 

Go try dresses on again. You might find that you do indeed love the dress you have on order.

 

Post # 16
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee

I actually think your dress looks more bridal than the other picture, which looks a little "debutante ball" to me.  Yours is truly stunning.  Of course, I know all that doesn’t help if you’re not feeling it. 

I’m not really feeling my dress either.  But I think maybe we get all built up to expect this magical transformative experience with a certain dress.  And maybe for a lot of us, that’s just never going to happen.  And that’s okay. 

You know what did thrill me?  A freakin’ tiara.  I picked a dress I felt "okay" about, and a veil that I felt "okay" about, but I put on some crazy pageant-huge tiara…and that made me feel like a princess.  I bet there’s something out there that’s going to thrill you like that…it might be antique barettes, or amazing shoes, or a lacy veil, or even your bouquet.  We’re led to believe that it’s always the dress that’s supposed to make us feel that way, but it doesn’t have to be.  I bet there will be one totally unexpected detail that will make it all click for you!  

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