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Is this normal?

sad about not dancing with my dad.

posted 1 year ago in Emotional
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    1.
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    Buzzing bee
    spaganya    September 4, 2010   Arlington, VA/wedding in Williamsburg, VA

    I went into the wedding planning knowing i wouldnt get a father daughter dance. While i am a daddy's girl, my father is a baptist minister and has zero rhythm so he doesnt dance. like EVER. didnt dance at my sister's wedding and didnt even HAVE dancing at his own wedding. so it was an expected thing.

    however when i started planning my wedding, dad came to me and told me he was taking dancing lessons because he wanted to dance with me at the wedding.

    i was stoked!

    i got all excited about it and pulled a few songs for him to pick from so we could give them to the dj, got all happy and started picturing visions of the cute pictures we would have dancing at the wedding.

    but this past weekend, i had to get the final songs to my DJ for the honor dances and first dance. i asked dad, and he says he doesnt want to do the dance now.

    im so bummed about it. i would have been fine about it if i had just stayed how i was in the begining knowing he wouldnt dance, but after he told me he was taking lessons and all i got all happy about it and now its just a huge letdown.

    i dont want to be selfish or anything or let him know how bummed out i am about it since he does so much for me, but seriously when he said it i felt like bawling. i guess its my own fault for getting wrapped up in it. i should have left it alone and then been pleasantly suprised if it happened.

    i just wish he had never told me about the lessons. ....

     
    2.
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    Bumble bee
    M.Ruder    July 2, 2011   Saint Louis

    =(  I'm really sorry you have to go through all this! 

    Maybe you can sit down and have a heart to heart with him over breakfast?  If he saw what an important part of your day the dance is, I bet he'd give it a shot, afterall, the wedding is about everyone celebrating your life, and moving on, rather than his lack of dance skills!  (heck, EVERYONE is self conscious about dancing!)

    If that won't work, I'd always guilt my dad into it!  haha

    Good luck, and my prayers are with ya!

     
    3.
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    Buzzing bee
    Moose1209       Nashville, TN

    I don't think it's selfish at all to let him know how you feel about it!!  Just go to him and tell him that you're feeling down because you were so looking forward to sharing that special moment with him.  Ask him if he would be willing to reconsider.  Don't push him because it won't be fun for either of you if he is miserable.  But since dancing isn't his thing maybe he just didn't know how much it would mean to you.

     
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    Worker bee
    Bride16    May 29, 2011  

    I've been to many weddings where the bride and groom have their first dance but after about 30 seconds, they invite all couples to join them. What about if you and your dad only dance alone for the intro and then invite everyone to join you with someone special to them. Maybe he wouldn't mind doing a dance if other people danced too rather than all eyes be on him?

     
    5.
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    Buzzing bee
    spaganya    September 4, 2010   Arlington, VA/wedding in Williamsburg, VA

    thanks for the support!

    I will try and see if i can talk to him about it. i just feel super guilty saying anything because i know dancing isnt his thing. but really its his fault for getting me excited about it right? *pout*

    half of me hopes hes just saying this to try and surprise me on the day of with this spectacular dance hes learned that he worked out with the dj. *sigh* but then again im probably setting myself up for disappointment.

     

     
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    Helper bee
    SouthernTulip    October 23, 2010   Georgia

    Maybe you could trying talking to your dad about it?  Maybe if he knew how much it would mean to you he'd reconsider?

    Hugs and good luck

     
    7.
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    Helper bee
    MissDonnaAnne    August 26, 2012   Hamilton, NJ

    I think if you talk to your dad, he'll understand that it's important to you and dance with you, especially if it's only for a minute. Dad's want to see their daughters happy, especially on their wedding day.

     
    8.
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    Bumble bee
    Blondee    August 24, 2012  

    Sorry to hear about this.. I would just talk to him about it. If he understands how important it is to you, I'm sure he'll dance with you.

    I unfortunately won't be having a father/daughter dance either.. but my dad passed away when I was 11 :(

     
    9.
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    Busy bee
    fitzly      

    Awww, that would make me sad, too. Is there a reason? Maybe he felt bad he didn't dance at your sister's and wants to be consistent? Can you ask your mom?

     
    10.
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    Helper bee
    bananagirl    October 10, 2010  

    Is his particular church very strict on dancing?  Is he worried about the reaction of his congregation? 

    What about at some point during the reception the two of you go outside or down the hallway with a boombox and dance, just the two of you?  Then the two of you get to dance together, share that moment, without him worrying about having two left feet. 

     
    11.
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    Buzzing bee
    spaganya    September 4, 2010   Arlington, VA/wedding in Williamsburg, VA

    @bananagirl: he just doesnt believe in dancing.(same with drinking and other vices) i guess its probably something to do with how hes percieved, but honestly the only person from our church that is invited is my godmother.(very small wedding) but i literally have never seen my dad dance. which is why i was completely ok with him not dancing with me at the wedding.

    but when he said he was taking lessons, i got my hopes up and was all excited by it.

    but i guess either he changed his mind, thought better of it, or just chickened out.

    either way, i asked, and yeah no father daughter dance. Cry

     

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