- 10 years ago
- Wedding: April 2008
I f*ing hate my dad! I know it sounds terrible…this may be a long post, so please bear with me! I need your help! Now, I know I have said some things about this situation before, and I know some of you have as well. Basically, my wedding is in 5 weeks. My total wedding cost is over $50k. Yes, I know. Not planned. My mother and stepfather have paid about $30k. My FI and I have paid about 15K. Little things have been charged, which make up the difference….after my dad is supposed to contribute his $5k….yes, thats it. …and not to sound selfish – he makes 6 figures and has an insane annuity of which he can take from whenever he pleases. By insane, I mean a million+. He and my mother were divorced when I was 5. My stepfather came into the picture shortly thereafter, and they started living together. They got married right before I turned 13, and I am now 28. That is roughly 23 years of this other man being the "father figure" to my sister and I. I say this because we only saw my dad once a week for apporoximately 6 hours, and after I turned 14 or so, he didn’t know what to do with us, so even that time changed to just every so often. Since then, everything has been our fault as to why we don’t see him, and even my grandmother wrote me a mean letter saying we never make an effort to see him and blah blah blah. My sister no longer speaks to him, because she has 2 girls whose father is Haitian, and my dad thinks "its not right"….basically, he is an a*hole. But I have always tried to keep in touch with him and make an effort every time to go see him and all that. He has, for our entire lives, complained or refused about or to contributing money to us for living/school expenses.
Fast forward to tonight…
He calls my FI and says "I know I won’t get an answer from her, so I am asking you: am I walking her down the aisle? because if I am not, there is no point in me even showing up and my entire family will be pissed off". My FI said "you’ll have to talk to her about it"….leave it to him to act like he knows nothing. Now, granted I should have discussed this beforehand. But because of the situation, and knowing how he always makes everything about him and his family (who, I might add, has never invited us to a damn thing), I have avoided it. Bad daughter, I know. But the thing is, I want both of them to walk me, whether together, split the aisle, whatever. and he is married to this superbitch that we all hate….and he didn’t even tell us he was getting/got married until weeks later.
anyway, what the hell am I supposed to say to him??? This is our day – not anyone else’s, and it has nothing to do with what anyone else wants, right? Now, my stepfather has said that if it was going to cause problems, then he didn’t have to walk me. but its not how I want it! These are the important parts of the wedding, you know? I feel, at this point, that if that is how he wants to be, then I don’t even want him there….you would think that what matters is that his oldest daughter, and the only one who will ever get married, is getting married and thats what its about….right?