Post # 1
laatnight I was playing on my husbands phone when I noticed he only had one email address active on his iphone. So I simply asked ” what happened to the other email you had logged in?” His reply “I never get anything but spam so I took it off” this caught me of guard a bit. So I did some research & BAM !! Opened it up & the first thing I see is a reply from him to a casual encounters add on craigslist saying “hi I need a lady like you in my life” I cannot even explain the sadness that went through me I immediately lost my breath got up & said I want a divorce. Of course he tried to play dumb & say what are you talking about there’s nothing there after he hurried to delete it like a coward. I guess my question to all of you is, how do I handle this? What should I do? My mind is in a million & 1 places. Let’s just say last night was a rough night for both of us after I shredded pretty much most of our wedding photos in anger. ;(
Post # 2
Probably not a good idea to post this under your email address. Go to the support section ( top lefthand corner of the webpage) and request a name change stat.
Post # 3
email@example.com: Wow…either it’s exactly what it looks like or he was hacked. I don’t even know what to say, but I’m sorry you’re going through this.
Post # 4
I’m so sorry that you are going through this.
I think a little more information is needed. Did he admit to anything or did he keep denying it? If he did admit to sending that email, did he meet up with anyone? Did he tell you why he did it?
Post # 5
firstname.lastname@example.org: I’m guessing you must’ve had some supspicions of something going on else you wouldn’t have checked his email lists? I have an iPhone and it’s not like that info just pops up. If it were me, I’d ask him to join you in marital counseling ASAP. And then either A) it will work (but trust takes a looooooong time to rebuild, so just know that) or B) it won’t and at least you will have tried. Sorry you have to go through this. Life can really suck sometimes.
Post # 6
Im s sorry 🙁 The first night after something tramatic happens is always the worse to get through. But now you need to start working on finding out first why he did this, has he done this before, and whether or not you really want a divorce or if your just feeling/speaking on impulse. Counceling is always helpful and if you find out he is a true coward and can’t be true to you then he’s not worth it. Ive been through a separation after 2 kids and 7 years and it was the hardest thing to go through ever but now Im the happiest ive ever been and life went on! and it will for you too, it just doesnt seem like it right now that the walls are caving in on you. All the best to you 🙁
Post # 7
MrsBeck: I am just trying to understand and certainly not coming down on you but I always wonder why women in particular ask the question of why. Does it really matter if he met someone? The fact that he posted the ad alone is sufficient enough to see what his intentions are (even if the girl and he did not go through with the meeting). Again, just wondering.
To the OP, while I cannot tell you what to do, the facts are:
He IS cheating (attempting to cheat and CHEATING are the same things)
He was dishonest
If you decide to forgive this, you would probably still wonder for the rest of your life if he is honest with you.
Now, what can you live with? I was in your situation before. I left. From my personal experience, it is rarely just a one time thing. And, they just get better at hiding the evidence. Plus, it always gets a litte easier to cheat on your mate when she took you back after you already did it. But again, you alone know what you can live with
Post # 8
I think you need more evidence. If that was really an email sent from him then I doubt it’s the first one. It is unlikely spam would reply to an add! Either way he was snooping on Craigslist. I have been through something similar and I guarantee it never ends.
Post # 9
Thank you all for you kind words and encouragment. He told me that he know he messed he did it because he was looking for someone to talk nice to him because I am always so mean (sad excuse) we didn’t get to talk much because he is at work and I was making him emotional. instead I blamed myself for never being good enough. I’m 23 & I just recently survived cirvical cancer. We have tried for 3 yrs to have children but had no idea the damage that was done. I sometimes wonder 🙁
BTW it’s not an accurate email 😉
Post # 10
j_jaye: I cannot figure out how to change it !! It’s not accurate I just made a bogus email to sign up on here 😉
Post # 11
You can find platonic companionship in a lot of places that are not the casual encounters section on craigslist.. I wouldn’t take his excuse that he was looking for someone to talk to that was nicer.
Even if you were the biggest bitch on the planet, he should work on making things better with you rather than perusing craigslist for a ‘friend’.
Post # 12
I told him how disgusted I am. Fucking craigslist Jesus, I can’t.
Post # 13
Butterfly6: I do think the “why” matters if you are planning on trying to work through it. I never implied that any reason made it okay but if you’re going to try to make the relationship work I think it’s important to talk about.
To me it would absolutely matter if he met the woman! I don’t understand how that doesn’t play a factor. Sure it’s not right to contact her to begin with but in my eyes the whole situation is even worse if he did meet up with her.
The ad would not be enough to show his intentions, at least not to me. Perhaps he was looking for a confidence boost? Again, still not okay but I don’t usually like to jump into the worst case scenario.
Post # 14
email@example.com: Caitlin, dont buy it. That is an excuse. This has nothing to do with you. I hate when men do this. So the next time you are mean, that means it gives him the right to cheat? You should not have to behave in a certain way for your man to ‘behave’. If you are so mean, he should leave. He does not have the right to violate and erode your trust. And on craigslist? Yuck. STDs are real and some you cannot get rid of.
You do NOT need more evidence. You know what you need to do.
Post # 15
MrsBeck: he didn’t meet with her. The email was sent the day before I found it & he said he had no intentions on moving forward with it. It absolutely would play a huge factor if he did meet with her but that’s not the case it’s all still infidelity to me