Sad & confused

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Probably not a good idea to post this under your email address. Go to the support section ( top lefthand corner of the webpage) and request a name change stat.

Post # 3
2364 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014  Wow…either it’s exactly what it looks like or he was hacked.  I don’t even know what to say, but I’m sorry you’re going through this.  

Post # 4
6457 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m so sorry that you are going through this.

I think a little more information is needed. Did he admit to anything or did he keep denying it? If he did admit to sending that email, did he meet up with anyone? Did he tell you why he did it? 

Post # 5
4654 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2014  I’m guessing you must’ve had some supspicions of something going on else you wouldn’t have checked his email lists? I have an iPhone and it’s not like that info just pops up. If it were me, I’d ask him to join you in marital counseling ASAP. And then either A) it will work (but trust takes a looooooong time to rebuild, so just know that) or B) it won’t and at least you will have tried. Sorry you have to go through this. Life can really suck sometimes.

Post # 6
430 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Im s sorry 🙁 The first night after something tramatic happens is always the worse to get through.  But now you need to start working on finding out first why he did this, has he done this before, and whether or not you really want a divorce or if your just feeling/speaking on impulse.  Counceling is always helpful and if you find out he is a true coward and can’t be true to you then he’s not worth it.  Ive been through a separation after 2 kids and 7 years and it was the hardest thing to go through ever but now Im the happiest ive ever been and life went on! and it will for you too, it just doesnt seem like it right now that the walls are caving in on you.  All the best to you 🙁 

Post # 7
2634 posts
Sugar bee

MrsBeck:  I am just trying to understand and certainly not coming down on you but I always wonder why women in particular ask the question of why. Does it really matter if he met someone? The fact that he posted the ad alone is sufficient enough to see what his intentions are (even if the girl and he did not go through with the meeting).  Again, just wondering.


To the OP, while I cannot tell you what to do, the facts are:

He IS cheating (attempting to cheat and CHEATING are the same things)

He was dishonest

If you decide to forgive this, you would probably still wonder for the rest of your life if he is honest with you.

Now, what can you live with? I was in your situation before. I left. From my personal experience, it is rarely just a one time thing. And, they just get better at hiding the evidence.  Plus, it always gets a litte easier to cheat on your mate when she took you back after you already did it. But again, you alone know what you can live with

Post # 8
653 posts
Busy bee

I think you need more evidence. If that was really an email sent from him then I doubt it’s the first one. It is unlikely spam would reply to an add! Either way he was snooping on Craigslist. I have been through something similar and I guarantee it never ends.

  • This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by  MrsPierce2014.
Post # 11
4638 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

You can find platonic companionship in a lot of places that are not the casual encounters section on craigslist.. I wouldn’t take his excuse that he was looking for someone to talk to that was nicer.

Even if you were the biggest bitch on the planet, he should work on making things better with you rather than perusing craigslist for a ‘friend’.

Post # 13
6457 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Butterfly6:  I do think the “why” matters if you are planning on trying to work through it. I never implied that any reason made it okay but if you’re going to try to make the relationship work I think it’s important to talk about.

To me it would absolutely matter if he met the woman! I don’t understand how that doesn’t play a factor. Sure it’s not right to contact her to begin with but in my eyes the whole situation is even worse if he did meet up with her.

The ad would not be enough to show his intentions, at least not to me. Perhaps he was looking for a confidence boost? Again, still not okay but I don’t usually like to jump into the worst case scenario.

Post # 14
2634 posts
Sugar bee  Caitlin, dont buy it. That is an excuse.  This has nothing to do with you.  I hate when men do this.  So the next time you are mean, that means it gives him the right to cheat? You should not have to behave in a certain way for your man to ‘behave’. If you are so mean, he should leave. He does not have the right to violate and erode your trust. And on craigslist? Yuck.  STDs are real and some you cannot get rid of.

You do NOT need more evidence. You know what you need to do. 

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