(Closed) sad frustruated disappointed

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Why do you feel $20,000 is unrealistic?

Post # 4
Member
57 posts
Worker bee

Aw, I’m sorry.  That is frustrating.  Have you thought about eloping?  Then you could have your wedding and honeymoon in one trip, with a lot less stress.

Post # 5
Member
960 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

First of all, $20,000 is definitely a realistic budget. Here is a link to WB’s “Real Budgets” feature:

http://www.weddingbee.com/author/real-budgets/

You’ll find budgets of all sizes, many that are under your amount. Don’t stress, everything will be fine 🙂

Post # 6
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@bblove…I guess I have the same question. What is unrealistic about a budget of 20K? You can do a LOT with that. I don’t know abt waiting until after the wedding to plan your honeymoon b/c what if most guests give gifts instead of cash??

Post # 7
Member
732 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Maybe you both can make a list of what you wanrt and what he wants, and then try to comprimise. You will both have to be at least a little bit flexible to get this thing done! Maybe if he wants a smaller wedding and you want all the fancy fixins, but a big wedding, you can do a medium sized wedding with most of the fixins. I hope that helps.. I’m sure you’ve already tried this approach though.

And I think 20,000 is perfectly reasonable! If you invite less people, then you can use more $ for fancy things!

Post # 8
Member
418 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

First off, $20K is totally realistic – including a honeymoon!

Secondly, why not sit down with him and write down lists of the things you each “must have” at the wedding and the things that you are willing to compromise. This way, you know what means the most to him and vice versa.

If that doesn’t work, hire a wedding planner 🙂

Post # 9
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

You have been disagreeing about your wedding for two years? And your proposed date is still 2 years away? How is your relationship otherwise? It seems a very long time for 2 people who want to get married to disagree about something 🙂 I can’t imagine fighting about something for 4 years, let alone something that’s meant to be fun like planning a wedding! The others have given some good suggestions about how you might like to tackle it. Good luck!

Post # 11
Member
4466 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

$20,000 sounds pretty realistic.  Our planned budget was $20K and we’re paying about $11K for the reception.  We’re going to go to about $22K I think (not including honeymoon) but it’s definitely doable.  You could cut out expensive limos (we’re paying over $1500 for transportation, ugh) and just do one photographer (we’re doing two).  Don’t know what your plans are for a ceremony but you can cut costs by having it at the venue or in a town park or something.  Also, DIY stuff and that can save you money. 

Post # 12
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Don’t count on getting that much money back from your wedding. We only got about $3,000 in cash….and $1,000 was from one grandparent! So that wouldn’t have covered italiy in our case. $20K is a very realistic budget–look at scaling back on the reception hall….

I know our reception venue was about $12K and it was our HUGEST expense. It included food and a bunch of stuff, but i had to DIY lots of other stuff and my dress was only $400. I spent <$350 on florals…and my budget came right in at $18,500. Our HM was $4K and was a gift. If we wanted to work with 20K, we would have had to restructure. Nothing major, but we definitely needed more than 4K for a trip to Italy. And our venue would have had to be scaled back, too.

It’s doable, but you have to start looking at things and going “okay what can we spend on what?” and work out a budget.

Pull one up on the knot and type in, say, 15K (cuz you’ll go over, of course). Then look at the $$ amounts on each item. Is it realistic? How important is it? If it’s VERY important, what can you afford to chop away? IE if you want nicer photos, then are you willing to sacrifice a nice cake?

Post # 13
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Are there any other less spendy places for a reception that you would be willing to consider?  I realize in some areas that is the norm, but thought I’d ask.  Is the hall one of your top priorities?  If so, then I’d be willing to spend a little more.  The top venues on my list were all significantly more expensive than the place I chose in the end, just couldn’t see spending that much on a place.  What I am doing is taking the money I saved on rental fees to create, at least to me, a better atmosphere.  Just a suggestion!

Post # 14
Member
3285 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

11K for a reception hall is kind of outrageous!! I could plan 4 weddings with that budget!!

Post # 15
Member
4466 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@krissycake: That’s lower than the norm where I’m planning my wedding.  Most places we looked at were $100+/plate.  We’re paying $85/plate for 140-150 people.

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