Sad little stressing bee here & need words of comfort or a reality check

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@CocoClassic:  A lot of people plan destination weddings. You are not a bad person for doing so. You are well aware that not everyone will be able to come or want to come because they have their own lives. It is a huge expense so all you can do is leave it up to your guests. If they want to attend, they will.

If they don’t want to or can’t, then you need to accept that (and it sounds like you will!). You made the best choice for yourself and your FI, but that may not be best for everyone. All you can do is hope for the best and let people make their own choice. You could offer a local reception to celebrate with the guests who are unable/unwilling to attend.

We never do the DW thing because we get limited vacation time and it just isn’t worth it for our family. It isn’t meant to offend the couple, but we have to do what is best for our own family…and spending a fortune on someone else’s wedding and a vacation I didn’t choose does not make my priority list. Every guest will feel differently.

Don’t stress the things you can’t control. It will all work out and the people who love you most will be there 🙂 

Post # 4
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 1993

@CocoClassic:  Perhaps if you re-set your expectations about attendance it might help things.  I just checked the price of flights to Rio from my major metro area, and they are EXPENSIVE — like $900+ a ticket.  There are other islandy-destinations where $900 would pay for the entire trip, including flight and meals.

So if you want to have the wedding in Rio, in your mind you might want to keep focusing on the great experience you and your FI will have — and then if others are able to attend it will just be an incredible bonus.  If you have always wanted an exotic wedding that’s what you are getting.  But if you’ve always wanted your friends and family around you at your wedding….not so much. 

Post # 6
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@primrosehedge:  +1. That would buy an all inclusive trip to Dominican. I would not be willing to spend that on just a flight!

Post # 7
Member
2687 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID

@CocoClassic:  yuck, I’m sorry you’re in this situation. That’s the exact reason why I wouldn’t plan a destination wedding (and I was just planning on going to a different state — not a different country haha). To me, our friends and family being at our wedding to celebrate with us was way more important than being somewhere crazy and cool. There are plenty of places around here for me to get married that would make it easier (and cheaper) on my family. Hopefully you find something that works out. 

Post # 8
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m sorry you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place!

But I’m sure plenty of people will be there for you.

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