Post # 1
So yesterday I call my mother to tell her we found and bought our invitations. I have been struggling with finding something that I really liked at a reasonable price, and we did. They are the kind you print yourself and she couldn’t get over that we picked PLAIN invitations. I was trying to explain that their is a design on them you only need to print the wording and she suddenly said "BYE." and hung up. I was completely confused. I later get a call from my little sister that my mom is in a horrible mood because all I want to do is call her and complain about other people (future MIL and SIL but that’s another story) I hadn’t even mentioned them in a few days!? Turns out there are a few more things going on and when I call dad who is out of town he explains it is hard for her to have me planning it so far away and he thinks it made her realize she is getting older and next babies will be born 12 hours away from her and that makes her sad too. He thinks she is just over stressing. Today I try to call and talk to her and she won’t answer or return calls and sister calls to let me know she is still upset and crying…..
I don’t know what to do. I was just trying to keep her informed. 🙁
Post # 3
I don’t think you can blame yourself for what’s going on. Seems like your mom is going through some stuff. It seems like the best thing you can do is try to be supportive and try to continue communicating. Sounds like she needs lots of love and support right now.
Post # 4
Awww, I think your mom is just dealing with her own wedding stress. My mom does this too. When I first moved away for grad school (an hour away … keep in mind i went to undergrad 2 hours away) she wouldn’t speak to me the ENTIRE move up.
Now I am wedding planning from a distance and she has all these ideas and usually brings them up when I’m tired, distracted or just not in wedding "mode". Even last night she says "well this is going to be the biggest day of my life" and I say "Ummm.. I’m pretty sure it’s going to be the biggest day of MY life"!
She probably just needs a little time to cool down. Leave it be. She will move past it and eventually listen. Hopefully!
Post # 5
Like my future MIL told me – your mom will probably be a ball of mixed emotions excited you are getting married and upset b/c her daughter is growing up and moving on.
My mom was very upset I choose Myrtle Beach b/c I have no family in the area and that I choose it so my FI grandparents who are 80+ could attend. Her exact words were "So we have to travel b/c of 2 people." Six months later she is excited and ok with the idea of traveling.
My advice is don’t tell her everything that is involved with the wedding planning. Share the good stuff and wait for your excitement to die down some so that you are not so disappointed if she doesn’t seem as excited as you.
Congrats and I wish you the best with your mom. She’ll eventually come around just give her time to do so.
Post # 6
I agree with jaydee – she is probably a mixed ball of emotions because of the excitement, but knowing that her little girl is growing up. I know my mom sometimes took things very personally when I had a little tiff with my FMIL or FSIL, so I stopped telling her about most of those things because I didn’t want to stress her out, and I didn’t want her to hold those things against them in the future. Maybe talk with her more about happy news, and make sure to enforce with her that you are so excited about your day and would love her input (even if you don’t).