Post # 1
So the past week has been really hard for FI and me.
On Thursday my grandmother passed away. She was my last remaining grandparent and I was very close to her. I got to talk to her on the phone Tuesday night and say goodbye and I had just seen her in August, but I’m still very sad.
Then, on Saturday FI’s mom called to tell him that their dog was very sick. FI went out to see his dog and told me that he could barely walk and wouldn’t eat. The dog passed away on Sunday, FI had rushed out there again and was in the lobby of his mom’s building waiting for the elevator when the dog passed away.
I loved this dog as well and hadn’t seen him for a month or so.
On top of all this, FI’s mom is now really sad, because most of the time this dog was her only “companion” in the house since she is divorced.
I want to do something to help her feel better, but at the same time I’m grieving both losses.
I also want to look forward to wedding planning (my mom is coming this weekend so we can start dress shopping), but with all this loss I just feel numb. I also don’t know what to do to help FI & his mom feel better or to help my mom feel better (since my grandmother was her mom).
I am trying to be strong for everyone around me because I know they are all hurting too, but I don’t know what to do.
Post # 3
I’m so sorry for both the loss of your grandmother and your FI’s family dog. 🙁 That’s a lot to go through for anyone, and I know it’s hard worrying about others while you’re sorting through your own grief. Perhaps for now, a card and some flowers would help your FMIL. I know when we lost our 1 1/2 year old kitty unexpectedly on Christmas Eve, anyone who reached out and validated the loss really helped, but most people avoided mentioning it.
Sending good thoughts your way.
Post # 4
@lilyfaith: Thanks. I have some good pictures of their dog (since I’ve known him as long as I’ve known FI) and was thinking about getting one of them framed for her.
I don’t know if that would be too much of a constant reminder of his absence though. He was older, and sick, but he did go downhill very suddenly.
Post # 5
I’m so very sorry to hear about your sad news. It is never easy to loose someone or to loose a pet at that matter. I agree with the above poster that you should maybe send a card or some brief well wishes. Don’t take everything on to yourself though. You don’t need to feel obligation or guilt if you cannot 100% lend your support to other right now. You are, after all, grieving a tremendous loss as well. I’m sure your FI and his mother can understand that. All you can do is try to stay strong.
Remember that if you don’t take care of yourself you won’t be any good to anyone else. Take some time to grieve and get your spirits up and if, after a couple of days, you feel up to it than maybe come up with a good idea to brighten your FMIL day if you say she might be feeling lonely after her loss. Maybe the two of you could spend some good quality time together to help each other out.
Take care. All of my heart felt condolences.
Post # 6
I’m so sorry for the loss of your grandmother and your FMIL’s dog. I know how hard both of those can be.
If you have nice pictures of the dog, maybe get her something from Shutterfly or Snapfish with the dog’s picture on it. When my baby passed away, my mom got me a wooden box with her picture on it. It was an amazing gift and also really heartwarming to have since I could put a few of her things in it to save.
For your mother, you are both grieving and I think all you can really do is be there with her, maybe go down memory lane with her and talk about the good times. Having someone with you that is feeling the same sometimes helps. I don’t think there is really anything you can do to make her feel better, but maybe she will appreciate going dress shopping. That is a happy moment for all mom’s so having something exciting to focus on could make her feel a little better, even for only a little while.
Hugs to you. 🙂