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I totally understand!! It IS sad but you get used to it. Plus, after you go through the actual process, you will be so glad it's done that you'll forget about being sad. There are SO many things to change!!
Awwww. :(
I am keeping my maiden name as my middle name and using my full name on everything that will let me... but I'm still so sad about losing it as my official surname that I'm getting it tattooed on me. ;)
VirginiaMarie - I'm the same way. All of the decendants on my dad's side have girls. While I'm not the last generation with this last name.. the next one is... it's hard for me too, but I want to take my FIs name. I know people who have added it as their middle name, or made it a second middle name.
It is emotional, but also symbolic, and it has a lot of meaning, so I understand why you are attached.
I am sad about this as well. It will be so strange to have a new name. The change is not too drastic for me though since I will still have the same initials and the same amount of letters as my name now.
My last name now is _ _ _. Yup, generic, short, to the point. I was always bummed growing up it was so short! I'll be getting FI's Polish last name of _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _. I didn't think I'd be sad either, but I kinda am. I'm very proud of my family. That, and when I try and practice there is literally a struggle to get my hand to keep writing after my first name. lol
i'm with you. i love my husband and i'm happy to take his name and become a family with him. but it's so weird that all of a sudden i'm no longer my last name, and attached to my own family in that way. and it's just weird because i can't remember it. people ask me my name (strangers, like when i go to the bank) and i tell them the wrong name. and then i feel stupid. i don't even know my own name!
It does feel weird. I'm glad I'm not the only one going through this. I've had my name for 30 odd years and it feels weird to change it.
Yep it was hard for me too. Although I went from a common hispanic last name to a not so common hispanic last name. It was def weird and just a couple days after my name change was official I went to the DR. for an appointment and they called out Mrs. E*** (my new last name) and it was the most awkward feeling ever. I soon got used to it and just love sharing the same last name as my husband.
HAHAHAHA THANK YOU MELISSSSSA!!!!!!!!!!!! you're so cute, you rock.
I am sad to lose it as well. My Swedish last name is long and is always butchered even though it's pronounced how it's spelled (never got that). But I am gaining a unique Bavarian last name, but since I grew up in a town with strong Swedish heritage I'm sad to lose it.
I hear ya!! I'm sad too but trying to not think about it way anymore and convincing myself I am excited to be Mrs S
I am making my maiden my middle name though (well second middle name bc I am also attached to my original middle LOL)
I thin hearing all the stories here about women keeping theirs or their reasons for doing so makes me even sadder, so I just won't read those posts anymore!!!
HAHAHAHAHAH that is fabulous!!!!!!! Truly made me LOL. THANK YOU SO, SO, SO much! I am creepy! I can be totally creepy (half as creepy as MJ still means a whole lotta creep)---it's a very fitting card.
I told my hubby about your bad kitty story and he laughed as loud as I did. I figured you would enjoy a sarcastic ridiculous card. that site rox, by the way! Keep us posted about the milk duds tonight :)
My first marriage at 19 I used my maiden name as middle name and went with his. Combined I sounded like a famous new england suffragette. When I divorced I kept it- as all my career, degrees are under that name. Now, I am at an impasse my new man doesnt mind if I dont take his longer, ethnic name, but is nonplussed with keeping the previous married name. Converting back to a name I used at 19, when I am in my 50's just seems wrong. Still ruminating what to do.
I think those of you who are choosing to give up your last name are very brave. It seems difficult and stressful and as I found an excuse to keep my last name (my publication record uses it) I decided not to legally change it. I'm fine with being addressed as Mrs. Newname in a social setting, I just won't give my name up professionally or legally.
Oh my goodness, I couldn't agree more!! This has hit me hard the last couple of days and I've been trying to figure out whether or not I'm going to make it a second middle name or not. It is difficult :[ I love my last name and it's been me up until now. And I love that it's MY families name. Aww :[
Totally agree with you! I'm super excited to have his last name, but lately really sad to be "losing" mine (it will still be my middle). I'm an elementary school teacher so I hear "Miss X Miss X!" all day long. Sometimes it drives me crazy when they keep calling my name, but I know that one day I will miss it. :)
I feel the same way! I have one of those last names that people just comment on all the time and most of the time they know my nationality right away from it as well. I feel like I'm losing that part of myself. No one will automatically know the heritage I'm so proud of :( lol
FMIL hyphenated her last name and the other day his mom and dad asked me if I was going to do the same and when I told them no, that I wanted to take his last name they were both surprised. His dad said "Woohoo! You'll be Polish all the way!"
I also thought about it too, because it takes me a long time to even write my name because it has so many circles in it! b, o, d, g... four o's totally by itself! It'll be weird going down to such a short, easy to write last name.
I'm not sure how I will feel. The last name I had now I have used all my life, but it wasn't legally my last name until the end of 10th grade. My mother didn't tell me this until we went to court, and since it's my Step Dad's I can't wait to not use it (I don't like him much). Needless to say I have pretty mixed feelings about it.
I am moving my current last name to my middle name. It is what my mom did.
isn't it strange that we become so attached to a name that was chosen FOR us, and when the time comes that we get to *choose* our own names, it becomes this great internal debate? for so many of us, our last names were like a sibling -- sometimes we loved it, sometimes we hated it, but we grew to have this deeply rooted attachment to what it represented and the history it holds to both us and where we came from!
for me, personally, its something i go back and forth with. my mother kept her maiden name (a true liberal feminist of the 70s - ROCK!), and i've never thought much about whether or not i would keep or let go of my maiden name. to my fiance, it means to world to him that i would choose to take his name, so i've decided i would do that. but thinking of letting go to my maiden name, means i'll no longer be called childhood nicknames, fall into a new category of the alphabet (was near the end before & soon will be towards the beginning!) and have a new monogram. these big decisions go way beyond just choosing who we'll marry, don't they girls!
Funny - I'm almost exactly the same.
I too have a not hard to spell, but hard to pronounce Italian last name. I mostly identify with my Mom's side of the family (which is a super easy & very Irish name) so I'm really actually looking forward to having an easy, common, run of the mill, name. Never will my children have to explain or pronounce their last name properly for their teachers. No one will make fun of what their name rhymes with. I'm kinda psyched for it.
P.S. - I LOVE that some e-cards site. Hysterical! : )
Happy Birthday!
I feel the same way. My FH last name is common and my last name is so rare that I know that I am related to people just for the simple fact that they have the same last name. I plan on hyphenating it on most things, but legally I will change my name.
My last name is the coolest.. and I dont want to lose it.. But I cant hyphen it, because everyone would laugh. And I HATE my FHs last name. It doesnt even go with mine but oh well he is even offended that I wont change my last name to his. I even got as desperate to ask him to change it with mine.
Oh well. A crane I will be :) haha
THANK YOU FOR THE BIRTHDAY WISHES! You girls are too cute! Love the graphic!
I'm really sad to say goodbye to my last name too. I've been teased a lot about my last name over the years and have some goofy nicknames based off of it, and all my friends have been talking about how weird it'll be to not call me by those nicknames anymore after I get married. I'm like, its just a nickname, you can call me that as long as you want!!
I am sad to see mine go too :-( I am going to keep my last name for my career purposes since I am already somewhat established under my first and last name. But for my personal life I am going to change my middle name to my last name and then take my fiance's last name I think. I don't know...at least I think that is what I am going to do. It's been a difficult decision. I like the sound my name has to it...and I like my fiance's last name as well, and it is faily unique, like my own last name...but it is going to be a difficult change nonetheless.
Oh my god I know EXACTLY how you feel! Thank you for posting!
My last name is veru unique, and I am the only person in the world with my first name and last name. In fact, there are fewer than 30 people in the world with my last name, and all but 2 or 3 are related to me. FH has a hyphenated last name, and I am taking his dad's last name (the last part of FH's last name). It's more "normal" so to speak, and I won't be the only person with my name anymore.
As much as I hate spelling it out for people, always correcting it, etc, I am a little sad about changing it, to the point where I am almost considering hyphenating or just using 2 last names. Ugh.
I'm not sad to see my last name go because everyone pronounces it wrong. However, my new laugh name causes people that know me to giggle... they claim it's fitting to my personality. lol
In my neck of the woods, no one has this last name... but in his area, it's as common as Smith or Jones, so atleast I won't get made fun of there! :)
I'm the opposite of you. I'm trading in my generic last name for a unique Italian one. lol. I never thought I would have an issue changing my last name either. Now, the idea kind of bugs me too. I've really been contemplating hyphenating as well.
I love my current surname, its nice and rare, and most people in my area with this surname, i am related too! Its fairly long, and forever being misspelt, or confused with a famous author!
but my FI's surname, is even rarer (as a surname, its very common in place names, and also the name of a brewery and dumper truck company, which he loves!)
i will really miss my surname, and am sad that none of my children will have it, or any future nieces/nephews, as i am the oldest of 3 girls, so my dads name dies with him, which is sad, and we only have one boy in my generation who will be able to pass the surname on. but then my FI is the only boy in his family able to pass his surname on, so it seems only fair that he should be able too.
i am more than happy to take his surname completely, i wont even keep my surname as a middle name (i dont currently have one, and neither do any of the females in my family, so it would be weird for me to suddenly have one), and as to hyphenating it, it would take way too long to spell out to people, cos they have trouble spelling them individually, let alone together!!!!
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I am uber sad about saying goodbye to my last name. I never knew I was so attached to it! I have a beautiful, unique, hard-to-spell, Italian last name (in the past, I've loved it and hated it for various reasons)...I am gaining a more generic, run of the mill last name. I am very traditional and there has never been any doubt in my mind that I wouldn't take FI's last name---but the whole process has me a bit sad. The weird part is, that I thought I wouldn't mind this--I was excited to gain an "easier" last name! I usually like change and I'm super adaptable. I've just been so upset the last few weeks when I think about it---I was even crying to FI about it because this is my last birthday with my original name!!!!! (cough*cough*lameeeeee!!!!)
I am not considering keeping my name, or adding a hyphen, or changing it to my middle name, or anything else! But I just want to let the world know that I am sad to say goodbye to my name---it's been a good name and I will miss it.