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I'm sorry for the loss. I think you will have to give him time and showing him the love and support he needs right now is all you can do. I don't think you should feel too bad about it just crossing your mind, you obviously are down to earth enough to realize other things have become important for the time being. It will happen in time and ring is already done so thats half the process. It'll all work out in the end.
I agree with QuirkyParsnip, you're not bad for feeling that way. You're not acting on that, and that's what matters. I'm sure you will do the right thing and be there for him. It sucks, definitely, but obviously his families' feelings are #1 right now.
I have a similar situation though so I do understand.. I also heard that my bf was going to be proposing soon, but now my grandmother has gotten very ill, and things don't look good :( Obviously that puts the proposal on hold for a while, which means 2011 is looking very doubtful. It sucks, but health is #1 and I just wish my grandmother could be ok. Just being there for your boyfriend is all you can do. Things have a way of working themselves out.
You can be sad. It's okay. Getting engaged is a huge deal and I'd be sad too if something was planned and I knew it and then it had to be suspended. Go ahead and feel sad because you know what, you are sad. Just feel your feelings and accept them and no one is going to judge you for them because they are your feelings! You may not want to share every particular feeling with others, so maybe keep these under wraps and vent to the hive because we understand.
Try to be there for your SO and be kind, patient, and understanding. I would be super frustrated if I were you but just remember, it's not like he's purposefully making you wait and so don't aim your frustration at him. If you can be his rock through a difficult time, it'll only make him more sure. ;)
I'm so sorry to hear about your BF's grandmother...how sad. Of course the thought crossed your mind, that's only natural. You're not a horrible person!
Try not to worry about how he's getting the ring. At this point, you're MORE than halfway there...becuase your mom is involved and she will keep things moving along when it's an appropriate time. There are many ways they could meet up to get the ring, with our without your knowledge. So don't lose hope!
I'm sure you are doing your best to be supportive of your guy and his family. Hang in there!
It's awful when things don't go our way. It's really hard to deal with a loss like this especially when something so life-altering was going to happen. I wish you the best.
Yall are all right! @europomme: I am so sorry about your grandmother! And that is very respectful of your SO to put the proposal on hold.
The more I think about it..the timing really isn't horrible. As much as I would have loved for her to have been around much longer (the longer the better!) if it had happened right after we were engaged, or right around the wedding, the timing would have been much worse. I would rather his family have the time to focus on their feelings and the passing of the grandmother, with no distractions. Then, when he is ready, we can focus on us again.
I can't be more thankful that I have found these boards. Yall are such an encouragement!!
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Okay so if yall read my last post, we had this great Labor Day weekend up in the mountains, and SO had passed through my hometown to get the ring but it wasn't ready yet (by one day, and he actually went a day early!) So I was frustrated that he just hadn't planned well. And while we were there he even said "I wish I had known how romantic this place was!"
Well I knew he wasn't proposing which made for such a good weekend. I found out (he doesn't know that I know anything..) that he was planning to propose this Saturday. It has been hard to wait but at least its coming soon right?! Well he was headed today to meet my mom halfway to hand off the ring (my mom doesn't know I know either).
Last night we got the very sad phone call that his grandmother passed away. He headed home first thing this morning (a 12 hour drive) to be with his family. He starts his new job Monday so he is hoping that he will be back in time to start.
Well I was obviously very sad for him, I dont like seeing him sad and theres nothing I can do to fix it. Everything was great, he was so happy, why does something like this have to happen? So I called my mom to let her know and her first words were "well that puts a huge damper on things!!" and "looks like you aren't going to have fun this weekend." So now I feel like a horrible person because to add to the sadness of the situation, I have actually thought, "oh no, im not getting engaged this weekend, or probably any time soon, and he isn't even picking up the ring, how else will he get it" INSTEAD I should be worried about him and his family and how I can help the situation, instead of the thought even crossing my mind!!!!
Anyway, I feel like a horrible person and had no idea who to talk to so I just had to get it out and post here. Anyone been in a similar situation?