Post # 1
So last year my younger cousin dies of a brain tumor. I have my good days an bad days….mostly good days now. However, I had a dream about her last night, and I truly felt her there… then I woke up and realized it was a dream. I was just sad and have been sort of sad all morning. Its almost a year since she died…and I have been thinking about her a lot lately.
Does anyone else who has lost some one close get these random waves of sadness?
Plus its cloudy and rainy here today, and its making me all the more gloomy : (
Post # 3
((HUGS)) it’s my granddad for me… i get really really sad when i realize he won’t be performing my marriage ceremony (he was a pastor)… gosh he was so sweet and funny and nonjudgmental… i also think of my aunt a lot. she was 32 when she passed away (i was 14) and she and i could have been twins. i think of her the closer i get to her age. at the time she passed i thought she was so old and had lived such a good life but now it’s like omg she died when she was m’s age and that breaks my heart…
Post # 4
The random waves of sadness are completely normal. It turns out that the whole Denial, Bargaining, etc and finally Acceptance stuff usually doesn’t go in that order.
I don’t know if this would help, but in my family we believe that when we dream of someone we love that has passed, it’s them coming by to visit. It comforts us a great deal. So maybe it was your cousin coming by to say hi 🙂
Post # 5
Thanks MissHelen, that is comforting and brought me a smile…maybe she knows i needed her. : )
Post # 6
@MissHelen: Yep. My grandmother always says that when someone who has passed visits you in a dream, it’s good luck! I always call her when I dream of my grandfather (which is surprisingly often considering he died in 1986!)
Post # 7
hmmm i don’t know if i ever heard that before.. i sometimes smell a cologne in a crowd or when someone walks by that is like my grandad’s (old spice) and i think he’s wanting to say hello or something like that and sometimes (this is going to be spooky) i look in the mirror and the expression i have reminds me of my aunt’s face (is that not insanely spooky?!) but it’s very comforting to me almost like she’s there grinning back like she always did. and man would she have loved my son and m…
btw ((HUGS)) misshelen it gets better after the years go on.
Post # 8
My grandpa was killed in a car accedient the day my Fi was going to propose (in July of this year).. I had no clue. FI waited a few weeks.. still so sad that he just missed it. I am the first grandchild to get married, he would have been thrilled! .. This weekend is thanksgiving here in the north and that will be a rough time for all of us.
It is not fun – but it is great that people can say know that there are people who know how you feel – and really know.
Post # 9
Yep, I know how you feel. Every time i have a dream about my bro it makes my whole day awful. I only dream about the most awful things, too–we’re fighting, or he’s doing things he shouldn’t do and i’m so angry with him i want to hit him and knock sense into him. I keep telling myself it’s God’s way of reminding me why he was merciful when he was. Sometimes I forget the bad and get very angry and forget about His mercy.
I have had ONE positive dream about him–it was about a year after his death and he told me to tell us all not to worry, that he was in Heaven. My only good dream….I always find this interesting.
Go home, have a nice cup of tea, and curl up on the couch. It always helps me out
Post # 10
@ redeemed: like you my cousin died last year right before thanksigiving… November 24th to be exact. My family still got together for thanksgiving but its was a very sad/difficult day. I am not really looking forward to it this year….its like the elephant in the room that you know what everyone is thinking/feeling but if you say something we may all start to cry.
Post # 11
- Wedding: May 2011 - Trinity Lutheran Church & Idlewild Country Club
My granda died just over a year ago. She was 71, but a young 71 (as in shopping at Charlotte Russe, wearing gold high heels, and getting blonde highlights).
We were close and her death was sudden so I didn’t get a chance to ‘prepare’ for it (although I doubt that would have made a difference).
After it happened, I was a wreck, but now it hits me at the weirdest times. I might see something on TV that reminds me of her or think of something that I want to tell her and I feel that same pain all over again. The ‘waves’ are so random, but you just can’t help them.
Hang in there, all you can do is just try to get thorugh it.
Post # 12
- Wedding: October 2009 - Church Ceremony/Reception at The Waterford House
Oh, honey… I’m sending some hugs your way. Take your time to mourn but make sure you remember all the wonderful things about your cousin and your life. I get waves of saddness every other week when I think about my mom. It’s tough, but I know she’s in a better place.